[DeeAnnaD1913]

I have been having a very hard time grasping what to do with myself since I got sober a little over one month ago. I have been using anything and everything (mostly downers; pills and alcohol) for over ten years. I know why I used. Emotional problems, anxiety/ depression, trying to fill this empty void in my soul, etc. but getting sober is easier compared to staying sober for me, because I don't know what to do with myself since I am sober. I get terrible anxiety thinking of the holidays coming up, it's hard to imagine not over indulging on my birthday, Xmas, and New Years Eve. I am going to have to do this and learn to do everything sober. Anyone have any advice for these situations?

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[Skeezyks]

Well DeeAnnaD, I don't know if I have any particularly great advice. The main thing I think, from my perspective, would be to avoid putting yourself in situations where there is going to be allot of anxiety-producing stuff going on, & where alcohol is going to be flowing. Also, if you are hoarding pills... get rid of them, or give them to someone to hold for you. If possible, also share your concerns with those you are perhaps likely to be spending time with & ask them to help by not having alcohol & other similar stuff around.

There aren't any magical solutions here. Just be mindful of the difficulties you've experienced in the past. Don't put yourself in situations where, what has been a problem for you previously, is present. You wrote that you get terrible anxiety thinking of the upcoming holidays. If you can plan ahead & arrange your holiday events so that you're not exposed to high levels of anxiety, alcohol, etc. perhaps the anxiety you're feeling in anticipation of the events can be lessened. Also, if you see a counselor, or therapist, talking this whole situation through may be helpful. Or, in the alternative, if you're not seeing a mental health professional, if there is a trusted friend or family member you can talk with, that may work as well.

The holidays are a stressful time for most people. And, given that you're one month sober, it is likely to be a particularly challenging time for you this year. Be kind to yourself, & don't feel like you have to participate in every activity that comes along. You have the right to say no. I celebrate your sobriety!

[IrisBloom]

I've found it's easier if you replace the bad thing with a better thing. Do you have a favorite candy or treat? Make a point to reward yourself occasionally with something you can look forward to. For example, promise yourself a dozen donuts if you don't drink this week. You don't have to use food. Promise yourself a new book, dress, movie, something to get excited about.

Good for you for getting sober! Keep up the good work!

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Yes candy seems to be my replacement for pills and alcohol. Hahaha.

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[DeeAnnaD1913]

I've actually been doing a lot better this week. I am learning that by controlling my environment and finding ways to escape my anxiety and stress it's getting easier to stay sober. Tonight was a weird night for me. My daughters father called me for the first time in several months (he is incarcerated) this made me feel stressed, even though it went well, I started thinking I would give anything for a damn whiskey and coke. So I plugged in my earbuds and cranked some Zeppelin and just went into the music instead of in my head. I feel 100% better.

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Can you see a psychiatrist? There are meds like Zoloft that help with anxiety. It's not addictive. It doesn't help like a benzo but it has helped me overall.

Also, you may have underlying Mentall illness you are struggling with alone. Keep posting xo

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Originally Posted by DeeAnnaD1913

I have been having a very hard time grasping what to do with myself since I got sober a little over one month ago. I have been using anything and everything (mostly downers; pills and alcohol) for over ten years. I know why I used. Emotional problems, anxiety/ depression, trying to fill this empty void in my soul, etc. but getting sober is easier compared to staying sober for me, because I don't know what to do with myself since I am sober. I get terrible anxiety thinking of the holidays coming up, it's hard to imagine not over indulging on my birthday, Xmas, and New Years Eve. I am going to have to do this and learn to do everything sober. Anyone have any advice for these situations?

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First off, congratulations Hun. Living a life that one is not used too can be difficult. This is what I used going to meetings for, a social gathering wth a common theme of recovery and people to talk too. I've gotten involved in meeting parties, meetings, picnics, events through this.

Another think I started doing was going to parks, taking hikes in nature, and going to the public library, you know, things that normal people do everyday. Even taking a few courses at a local jr. College can help.

I've also joined MI groups like the DBSA and NAMI looking to go to their monthly meetings. Even getting involved in church activities- if you go there- gets one out of themselves back into life.

If an event like New Years is a danger to ones sobriety, I'd go with a sober friend on a buddy system so that I wouldn't feel alone, or not go at all. Nothing is more important then staying clean and sober....it's a life thing.

Any chance of getting a DX and taking the right meds to stabilize and heal that hole? It helps, really does. I can now do without drinking drugging for the most part now that it's been a little while. Good luck!

[HollowRhythms]

Hey,

Congrats on your for taking this huge step, i had the same issues, pills and booze. Rehab, taught me a lot. It was my birthday yesterday, it wasn't easy, but i managed, went for a nice dinner. one of the perks for me, is i've been saving so much money, im able to treat myself once in a while, kind of like a reward for the hard work. i'm only 3 and half months, it's not an easy process. i was severely depressed for quite a while, but doing much better now. I'd suggest looking in your area for some kind of support system, if AA, or NA isn't for you, there are a lot of other options if you live in or close to a decent sized city. It's nice to be around people who understand, and have been there.

The hardest thing for me, similar to you, is what to do with my time, I'm still struggling with it, with my therapist, we talked about short term goals. You could even do that yourself, and make a list.

I can relate a lot with you, if you ever need to please PM me, we can share ideas, or you can vent if you're having a rough day.

Don't give up on yourself, you can do it

~Hollow

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Thank you so much for the advice everyone. It's greatly appreciated.

Since my original post, I have enrolled in school. It won't start until January so it still gives me a little time to get ready before such a commitment. I know that things will continue to improve if I have something to do everyday.

I went to church for the first time since getting sober this past Sunday. I really enjoyed. I have struggled with my spirituality over the years. I am not one of these die hard "religious" people (I am from GA, so I am surrounded by them) but I am spiritual and I believe that I have to work harder at this for recovery.

I am planning on starting celebrate recovery next Thursday. I am avoiding the AA meetings around my home bc I have too many "get high buddies" that go to these meetings and I think it may be a trigger for me.

One of the strangest things that I have realized is that literally everything in my life revolves around pills. If I went to the store, if I made any type of social plans, even having enough energy to clean house thoroughly...these would all be things that I felt I couldn't do unless I had an adequate amount of uppers and downers to do the job. So now I am doing these things sober- it's kind of been a new challenge for me, especially with the social anxiety that I have.

The journey continues my friends..

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One of the strangest things that I have realized is that literally everything in my life revolves around pills.

Smart girl, you are so right! I'm proud of you to realize this.

We live for our drug of choice. We work for it, plan for it, put it first over responsibilities like bills and sometimes children. We look forward to it in our day, we chase it....hustling our way to get it. We use after a hard day to cope, we use after an easy day as a reward to ourselves. We use to wake up and get going. We use to beat a hang over. We use to calm the nerves. We use to put up with family. We use to walk out the door. We use to look in the mirror.

It is our higher power.

What's really kewl is that we can go to other cities and towns to attend meetings and meet others like us and share our story to help others. You got to give it away to keep it, as they say. Just have to go online or call the main number.

You are doing so awesome, there's hope for you yet! Atta girl!

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Smart girl, you are so right! I'm proud of you to realize this.


We live for our drug of choice. We work for it, plan for it, put it first over responsibilities like bills and sometimes children. We look forward to it in our day, we chase it....hustling our way to get it. We use after a hard day to cope, we use after an easy day as a reward to ourselves. We use to wake up and get going. We use to beat a hang over. We use to calm the nerves. We use to put up with family. We use to walk out the door. We use to look in the mirror.


You are doing so awesome, there's hope for you yet! Atta girl!

Couldn't have said it better, alwaychanging2! That describes my life for the last ten years to a tee. Good times, bad times, holidays and everyday. Everything was an excuse to use.

I am going to start attending celebrate recovery next Thursday. I am going to start with that and then start attending some meetings closer to my grandmothers house, when I am over in her area. That may help me avoid the people I used to deal with.

Thank you for the kind words as well, always changing, I don't think I ever realized how bad off I really was until I got clean.

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Hey Hun, have you considered OP drug/alcohol abuse group counseling? It's done wonders for me. Sometimes a lot there are state grants that allows one to attend for free, just need to ask.

I went every Thursday for 6 weeks for a few hours after hours, was drug tested (no biggy), and learned a lot about living without addictions.

I've graduated (yes, got a "diploma" afterwards). I was there voluntarily, but others get appointed by the judicial system.

Just thought I'd mention it.

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Yes I have really been thinking about how badly I need to start counseling. And be serious about going this time. My insurance company gave me the name of a place for substance abuse and I think I am going to try to set up an appt with them.

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[Saltine American]

I've actually been doing a lot better this week. I am learning that by controlling my environment and finding ways to escape my anxiety and stress it's getting easier to stay sober. Tonight was a weird night for me. My daughters father called me for the first time in several months (he is incarcerated) this made me feel stressed, even though it went well, I started thinking I would give anything for a damn whiskey and coke. So I plugged in my earbuds and cranked some Zeppelin and just went into the music instead of in my head. I feel 100% better.

haha I love this. I find doing this to be comforting.