I caved in.

I had money, and going out seemed like a good idea since I wouldnt have to pay for it as I was going to work the door at the bar I was going to.

Well, one or two drinks led to ecstasy and marijuana. As it always does.

*sigh*
feeling glum because i thought I was doing well but I guess im not.

[MountainGirl]

You are still doing well. How long did you refrain? Quitting is a process, not an event. It is very hard to just "walk away" . Count this as a slip and get right back on the wagon...I know you can do it, I believe in you!!

It was nearing a month for me. I just feel so dissapointed by the whole thing.

[MountainGirl]

I can understand your disappointment. Please remember that you didn't get addicted in an instant, it will take more than an instance to quit. You know what happened, and you know how you can avoid situations like that in the future.

You went nearly a month, that's great!!!!!!! You can, and will do this. Don't let the disappointment get you down, just use it to grow. Learn from it. I'm here if you need to talk, feel free to PM me.

[Raynaadi]

Recovery is a marathon and not a sprint. I've been sober for just over 2 years, and it was and still is a process. I learned that in order for me to stay sober, I had to start growing up. I had to start talking to people. I had to let it out. I had to give back. I still have to do those things. This is a process I will continue to do one day at a time, with the intention of it being forever. I still crave a beer sometimes. In fact right now, there's been a commercial for a new beer that sounds really appealing....sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. Last night I changed the channel because it looked that good. Relapses/slips can really be looked at as a good thing......they can help you realize that one drink leads to 12 and some drugs too. Put this experience in your vault of experience, learn from it, grow from it. Keep reaching out, there's absolutely no reason to go it alone.

((((( Rainbowzz )))))

[DePressMe]

Rainbowzz, don’t be too hard on yourself. I wish I had a nickel for every time I quit and then relapsed. I agree with MountainGirl, quitting is a process. In my mind you are not starting all over—nobody can take that sober month away from you. That is part of the reason why I sometimes think counting days can have positives as well as negatives. Stick with it, today is a new day.

This is just a thought, but when I was early in sobriety I would have not been able to put myself in the situation you were in--I would not have been able to work the door and stay sober. Matter of fact, I don't think I would do it now.

[LunarStrain]

You are doing well...please dont feel glum.. I used to call them *little accidents*. Accidents happen!!!

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.

[MountainGirl]

How are you doing today Rainbowzz?