Last weeks black out put me in the ER and psych ward. Lost my family. What can I do t

I've found that you never step into the same river twice, regarding 12 step. You might find a meeting, either AA or NA, where you feel connections with others. You might not. One thing I know from my experience is that going it alone is a set up for more pain and suffering. I really appreciate your courage and honesty at sharing your struggles here. I do hope you find a way to get the help you clearly need and deserve. Most of all, I hope you are able to see it through to the end, whatever that looks like. Perhaps some time apart from your BF would be healthy for both of you? Codependency is a strange condition.

I think you need to understand that he isn't just being a jerk and not caring about the fact that you could lose your house, or that you are in such a tough financial situation, but you have to accept the responsibility for putting him in a situation where he has to leave to protect himself and his children.

I have been in EMDR therapy for 4 weeks, and used to drink just to calm my anxiety at the end of the day, but sometimes it could be quite a bit. Since I began the EMDR I have noticed that I don't have the same desire to drink like I used to. Talk to your therapist about EMDR therapy and see if that would help you and it may have a good outcome with your drinking issue also.

Not having alcohol in your house will help ALOT. Ask him to help you by saying NO if you get a craving and ask him to buy alcohol for you.

You can do this. And I just read you're already doing this, sorry for the post. Nice job. =]

I think you all can work through this...hang in there, sweetie.

How are you doing? Been thinking about you.

I'm doing alright. He'll be here in about a half hour. I had my first T appointment yesterday and she said I need to apologize to the kids mom since it's her thatn doesn't want them here. I'm just too nervous. I don't do good with confrontation

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Sounds like a good place to start! All you have to do is say, "Insert name, I'm sorry for my bad behavior around your children, I am working hard to make sure that doesn't ever happen again." And that's it, you're done, it's out of your control at that point. Whatever happens, happens but at least you put your big girl pants on and apologized. Don't expect warm fuzzies or a hug or forgiveness, just do it and get your side of the street clean. The chips will fall as they fall and you will live through it!

Can you write her a polite apology note and ask your bf to give it to her? Or is she coming over now?

There, Notz wrote it lol

That said, I don't think "bad" is the word I'd use. I'd say something like I am very sorry for exposing the children to my outburst. I'm in intensive treatment and this won't happen again.

I'm struggling today. I just made a thread about my withdrawals from suboxone. Incase you all didn't know, I've been physically addicted to subs for about four years now. I'm hurting and craving. Plus all this **** I'm going through. I don't know how much more I can take. And I have no one to blame but myself here. I ****ed up with my bf and I ****ed up with addiction.

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Hang in there. We've all screwed things up with using. But you'll get through this. I have confidence in you. Get through the detox, and stay clean. That will show your BF that you're committed.

I know it's easy for me to say, since I'm not going through it, but just take it a minute or an hour at a time.

splitimage

As far as me apologizing to my bfs ex about exposing the kids to my nightmare, I got over my fears and texted her a huge apology. But it's night time so I'm worried what I might wake up to. I think I'll be sleeping with my phone off tonight. Thanks all for the encouragement

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Way to go on apologizing to BF's Ex. Try not to fear the worst in terms of outcomes. Just take whatever comes, and try not to blame yourself. We're not ourselves when we're using. Keep on getting through the detox, and worry about other things later. The immediate priority has to be getting clean.

Still cheering for you.

splitimage

She just texted back. She didn't seem pissed just more worried about the kids, understandably. I texted her back a bit. I feel better now. I have to start taking blame for my ****. I've been running my whole life. I have to get my MI and substance abuse under control and own up to my ****

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That's a great first step.

You did good! Keep it up!!

Just want to check in. I had a hard day of sobriety. I took two naps to avoid the boredom. I heard of a hookup and almost used. As far as suboxone, I'll probably never touch that nasty **** again. But people have other stuff and it makes my mouth water. I'm just going through so much with finances and bills, I just want to forget.

A few days ago, I asked my bf if he's going to leave anyway. He said he's very proud of the "new" me and he's staying. I've seen the kids but they still haven't stayed here since. Even im a bit nervous around them now. Maybe it's because I'm seeing them sober for once. This is an adjustment period for all of us. I probably need my own time right now too.

Congrats on being and staying strong! Its so hard. I know.

Ive been following your sobriety, and im so glad your bf is supportive now and you were able to see the kids. As a mom, i can say that takes a lot of trust from their parents to allow that visit. Their actions show they are proud of you.

Keep strong! Congrats!

The good news is your actions are speaking for you! You are showing promise by not using so no wonder your boyfriend and his ex are willing to give you a chance. It's a thin line you have to walk, no doubt about it. Early recovery is treacherous, so many pitfalls like the possible hookups you mentioned. What can you do to reduce the potential pitfalls, the inevitable bumps in the road that will happen? Life is full of that kind of stuff! What can you do right now to be proactively planning your "plan B's" for the kind of things that just fall in your lap unexpectedly? These are the kinds of things that support groups talk about to help you prepare for the temptations and bad days. Want to google "women in recovery" and see if any online reading will help?