[RoughDay]

I have fifteen days sober toda, however, last night I had this dream (I don't even remember what it was about) and I woke up feeling hungover. In addition, I kinda felt like I blacked out. I dunno? All I know is drinking not going to make it better. Don't get me wrong, I'm no hero or anything. If I was, i wouldn't have done all the heinous things I have in my life, but I used to tell newcomers, "Sober, I have a chance of getting better." Now, (and I hope this doesn't discourage anyone) I've learned that there really are no gaurantees in this life. It's now, "Sober, I might get better, and drinking I am almost gauranteed of getting worst." Once again, I don't want to discourage anyone, but I no longer think that its wise for me not to show anyone weakness to anybody. I need help, too, sometimes. Rocks can break, too.

[splitimage]

15 days sober is great - you should be proud of that. Re the dream - that's all it was a dream, you can't let it derail you. The most important thing in your message, to me at least, was your statement that </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"Sober, I might get better, and drinking I am almost gauranteed of getting worst."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> That is absolutely true and you need to hold onto that, Don't be afriad of showing weakness or asking for help - that's what we're hre for. Going it alone is to me as much about pride as anything else. Letting other people help me was one of the hardest things I had to learn to do, but if I hadn't I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be sober. Don't know if you're into AA or not but in both steps 3 and 7 it says that self reliance is one of the greatest barriers between us and a higher power. I know that that's been true for me. Let people in to help you.

Take care.

---splitimage

[Raynaadi]

George thank you for sharing! And you're absolutely right; we need to share our weaknesses. Not only to rat our own selves out, but to remind each other of what drinking would do.

Sounds like maybe it was a drunk dream that maybe you just don't remember. Waking up feeling hungover happens to me when I haven't had enough sleep or when I've had a really stressful week. Its always a reminder to me that I never have to feel that way again, with a real hangover.

I agree with everything SplitImage said too... she couldn't have put it better that self reliance was our downfall when we were drinking and it will definitely harm our sobriety if we let it.

I got sober after I had been a member here for nearly a year and posting here in this forum regularly through early recovery was a life saver. And thats why I continue to come back and post now....so post every day, 5 times a day if you need to!!!

~Rayna

[RoughDay]

Thanks guys. It meant a lot hearing from you that it was okay to be vulnerable. Truth be told even though I haven't been going to meetings, I always try to work the steps (I even did drunk, don't ask how well THAT worked, ). Anyhow, the only thing right I did today was praying, taking my medication, and eating a little a bit. I think those things were the only thing that kept me from chucking in the towel. On the bright side, after I got through all that and didn't drink, I feel pretty good. I picked up where I left off on my CBT readings and that also felt good. Like I said, I'm stil AA, but I supplement it with outside help.

[Raynaadi]

H.A.L.T..... Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. Sounds like you took care of those things too. Keep on keepin on!

[mlyn]

Glad you are here sharing helps me think maybe I can to one more time.

[shadowalker164]

George, It sounds like you have been around AA before.

You said… but I used to tell newcomers, "Sober, I have a chance of getting better."

If so, then you know the drill. Don’t screw around! Make one of those meetings you know about your home group. Pick some poor slob and make him your sponsor, and do the steps like your life depends on them.

Do anything else you feel you need to do, but do this first. If you feel you don’t want to go to a meeting today, THAT is the meeting you need to make. Your alcoholism, my alcoholism, all of our alcoholism is in the parking lot just waiting for an opening.

You sound like a smart guy, do the smart thing.

Richard

[Raynaadi]

I only need one meeting a week. But I don't know which one....so I go to bunches. =)

[RoughDay]

Sorry that I haven't posted in a few days, guys. I've been preoccupied with my own head. I've done everything wrong that could be done wrong in early sobriety, and here I am at 30 days sober today. They used to call me a miracle back when I had time. It looks like miracles can happen more than once in a person's life. Thank God. I finally going to a meeting today. It used to be my favorite one.

[Raynaadi]

CONGRATS ON 30 DAYS!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!