[indigosky]

I am a 32 yr old mom to three wonderful children, and I am also an alcohol abuser. The problem started about 4 yrs ago with my ex husband, who was very verbally abusive. I don't blame him for my actions or my addiction. However he was very unsupportive. The last year or so of my life I have gone though a lot of changes. I divorced my ex husband and am now remarried to a wonderful guy who treats me like a queen. We have a new baby girl she is 2 months old. My other two children are age 12 and 8. They are from a previous marriage prior to my recent ex husband. I am in my 3rd marriage. Thats just a bit of a run down.. I drank daily when I was w/ my ex and even after I left him. I meant my husband now and I became pregnant before my divorce was final, in April of 07. I married my babies father 1 month before our daughter was born. I never drank during my pregnancy. However since I am no longer pregnant I have been hitting the bottle out of control, and I am scared..... I am embarrassed to talk w/ my new husband about my problem. I don't get to the point to where I can not care for my daughter, however if there was ever and emergency and I happen to be intoxicated I could not respond or drive if I needed to.

Now with that said.... I am not one to set in an aa meeting. I have tried that in the past and the place was filled w/ smoke caring people yes. I have since moved and there are no AA programs in my small town... and I do not want to drag my baby to meetings w/ me....
I want to meet new people here for support. I do have a family history or alcohol abuse mostly Grandparents and Aunts etc. My parents do drink every now and again but they have control as to where I do not.
thank you for reading and I am looking forward to meeting many wonderful supportive ppl here..

[indigosky]

under the impression no one cares, hits the bottle great.. I have failed again

[Cyran0]

indigo, I'm sorry you're struggling but please be patient, many of us in the U.S. are at work right now so it sometimes takes a bit for us to get to the forums.

I'm glad you're reaching out and I hope it helps to connect with people who don't drink. And it is possible to get sober on your own (no AA, no rehab) but it's harder. It would be better if you had the support of somone like your current husband. Someone in real life who's helping you.

Also, you may want to check out chat here. When the need to drink hits, you may find a few of us recovering folks hanging out there.

Good luck to you.

Cyran0

[splitimage]

Hi Indigo,

Welcome to the recovery forum. It's great that you've admitted that you have a problem with alcohol and are looking for support. I'd suggest trying to talk with your husband about it, because personally I've found IRL support to be invaluable in my staying sober. It is possible to get sober without AA or some kind of treatment, just it takes more work in my opinion.

One websight you might want to check out is smartrecovery.org. It's a non 12 step support group for people trying to overcome addictions. They have some good on-line tools as well as message boards.

We also have a recovery chat here every Tuesday at 10:00 EST that you could feel free to drop in on.

Good luck.

--splitimage

[indigosky]

thx for your replies. I did talk to my husband and is very supportive.
Thing is we don't know where to begin..
I would love to join a chat sometime and get advice on how to handle this. and whats stinks even more I am having a bout w/ PP depression, I hope it wont last much longer. I do take meds for it , but I to not see that it helps..
I know I do need to talk w/ someone asap, however I am terribly embarrassed , denial perhaps I don't know . I am at a loss of where to start. I Have no insurance, I am going to do a bit of research in my area and see if I can find some type of non profit help...

[splitimage]

I should edit my above post to read that our recovery chat here is at 10:00 pm EST.

As a starting point if you are looking for IRL low cost, or free, options you might check out the salvation army. I know they run treatment programs. You might also want to ask at local hospitals. I was in a publically funded treatment program, which wasn't billed back to OHIP, our provincial Insurance Program, but was funded by the hospital's operating funds.

You might also want to consider calling a distress line as they might be able to direct you to resources in your area.

And if you can afford a Dr.'s visit, seeing a gp might be a good starting point, again for referals. There's no need to be embarrased. Lots of people have drinking problems. The main thing is that you want to change your behaviour and get help.

Good luck.

Splitimage

[DePressMe]

indigosky, I am also in recovery. I understand how hard it is to give up the booze. Please come here and use us as a support....I have found it really helps to tallk about things here on PC. I hope to see you in Recovery chat on Tuesday!

[indigosky]

I do plan to make it to the chat providing that I can figure it out =)

[Raynaadi]

Welcome to our little recovery family indigo There aren't a whole lot of us on here so if your posts go unanswered for a bit, its not cuz we don't care. On Tuesday I'll post in the Recovery chat thread to remind everyone that we'll be having the chat. In that thread, there's a link to see what time it is here in Tucson, and then you can compare it to your local time so you can see when the chat is. We've been doing an open chat and usually finding a topic at the top of the hour. If you're unable to make it, let me know and I can send you the transcript.

To get into the chat you select a room from the chat dropdown menu at the top of the forums. Once you're in chat, click the Rooms tab and select "recovery chat". Click "change rooms" and you'll join us in the chat. Its a room that I only create on Tuesdays for our chats every week. You'll find good people in the chatrooms throughout the week too.

Welcome again!

Rayna

[youOme]

sorry hun if it seemed no one cared. substance abuse column doesn't get as much hits as others, but it has it's regulars who do care...sorry it took awhile to respond. I actually understand what your going through and it's a difficult trial with in itself. Life is difficult as it is and drinking (although it helps for a moment) just in ways ends up making it even harder. I drink a lot too, and I have two children and a husband. My husband drinks a lot too. I actually think his drinking and behavior influenced my drinking. I was very young when we got together and in a way I've grown from a child into a woman while married to my husband. Not to displace my blame or nothing, it's just the influence aspect...of course I make my own decisions.

Do you drink daily?

It's fine to seek support outside the home but really the strength to quit completely comes from yourself. I question whether I actually want to quit sometimes. I tell myself a deserve a drink once the kids are in bed and the house sits still. It's amazing what one tells oneself while living in active addiction. But they are excuses.....we all have them.

Don't feel alone out there, we are here and of course willing to be supportive. Look up and don't be so hard on yourself.

[JamesUK]

Hi there,

I'm James from the UK, I may be around when you need a chat. I try to check this every day but am fairly new to here. I share very similair problems to yourself although not identical I have had a drinking problem in the past and fight daily to control it.

Always here to help/listen

Stay well

[DePressMe]

Hi indigosky, I just wondering how you are doing. I hope you are hanging in there. Struggling with addiction is not easy, but it is even tougher when you feel alone. More than anything, I want you to know I am here to support you.