[Gracey]

Some of you know I've moved to another city to take an outstanding job. So far, that's been a really good thing for me and my family. I have friends there, that I've reconnected with and am in the process of finding a temporary apt until I can move the fam up. Things are trucking right along.

Well. . .yeah.

The friends I'm staying with, they have a young man there. We'll call him Jon. Jon is a nice kid, really. Jon is also a recovering drug addict. I am a recovering alcoholic. We buzzed right up to each other like the proverbial moth to a light. LOL Bzzzzzzzzzzzt slam! That saying. ..about two addicts finding each other in a room of a million folks? It's true. . .oh so true.

So, I don't know that there's a major issue I want to say much about. . .I'm just worried. I can already sense that powerful codependency us folks have trying to kick in and I'm kicking back as hard as I can. I've been down this road before - he hasn't - and he is trying so hard to be "helpful" and nice and so on. He knows about my drinking, simply b/c it did come in all of us (my friends included) talking one afternoon. He's asked me a bit about it, and some things I've been happy to share, but some things I've told him, 'You know Jon, that was a really painful time for me, and I'm grateful I was able to work through that stuff, but I don't want to revisit it." I want to be encouraging to him in his journey, without sliding back into the mess that mine was. Does that make sense?

I went to my first meeting in a year up there too. The stress of being away from my kids, my husband, a new climate, finding a house, etc etc finally got to me. When I could taste the vodka and cranberry juice I realized I needed someone outside of me to be accountable with. Found one at the local church, and was getting ready to go and he came downstairs and said, "Are you going to the store?" No. "Are you going out?" Yes. "Could I go with you, I need to get out of here for a while." Stare. . .lol. So I said, "Jon, I'm going to an AA meeting. You're welcome to come along, but that's where I'm going and I take you with me you have to go too. I'm not dropping you off anywhere." He WANTED to go. So we get there, and get our coffee and I'm listening to some poor sap spilling his guts and Jon leans over and says, "They have NA after this. You can stay with me since I cam with you." I started to say something and then I realized. . .holy crap. He isn't just telling me what he's doing, he's actually ASKING me to stay with him. Wow. So, of course. We stayed. When we got home, my friends asked where we'd been and Jon took up off upstairs. Left me holding the bag. LOL I told them I went to a meeting and Jon went with me. They were like, "What?" I asked them, "Didn't you guys consider NA when he moved in?" and they said, "We mentioned it to him but he didn't want to go." I said, "Ever consider going WITH him?"

I wonder sometimes whether or not the struggle ever really ends.

[chalmette70043]

Gracey im happy for you. Tahts great news you made it to a meeting. And it sounds like your a good thing for Jon.

Take care of yourself and i wish you a fast house find and family mover up there.

You went to a cold climate? Burrr

[splitimage]

Gracey,

Glad you made it to a meeting when you realized you needed one. And it sounds like you're handling things with Jon ok too. Just remember, it sounds like you've got a lot going on in your life, even it it is mostly positive, try to remember to put your recovery first.

And stay warm.

--splitimage

[Perna]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Gracey said:
He knows about my drinking, simply b/c it did come in all of us (my friends included) talking one afternoon.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Gracey, I saw this interesting word slip I think? "come in" instead of "come out"?

Can you talk to another member of the house, another friend who can help you be vigilant and help keep the dynamic from being so personal and dyadic?

[Raynaadi]

Hi Gracey,

It sounds like the day of meetings was a good experience for both of you!!!

All of us who have gotten sober have pasts that aren't so lovely to rehash. Sometimes its painful to go back there. Our experiences help others though, who want what we have. I've share some pretty gnarly stuff with others who have asked me, or during the course of conversation. I always think "I'm not gonna talk about this or that" but inevitably, it comes out when I'm talking to others in recovery. Things have even come out with people not in recovery, but curious about it.

I always feel better after I share stuff with others. Especially with those in recovery. Am I codependant on others in recovery? You bet I am. Its others who have struggled with addiction who "get me". When I'm struggling, I look to them first.

Just the other day I was craving a case of beer. Not so much craving like I was miserable and gonna run out and get it, but I was thinking it would be nice to drink a case of beer. I hadn't been to a meeting in a week and the more I miss meetings, the more I miss drinking.

I came on here and ratted myself out to Chalmette in pm. I don't know how many pm's I sent her. I ended up calling my sponsor and she didn't answer so I called my best friend in recovery and she talked me down.

Codependant, sure. But I don't necessarily see it as a bad thing to depend on others in recovery to help me when I'm goin outta my mind. Thats why we call it a fellowship in recovery. Alcoholics/addicts helping other alcoholics/addicts.

I didn't want to admit that I had gotten myself into such a squirley place, but I did and I'm so glad I did, because I didn't pick up a drink.

Sounds like the situation was a win-win. You got to a meeting and so did Jon. No harm in that right?

Take care of you and I hope find an apartment soon. Congrats on the job!!!


Rayna

[Gracey]

Wow. . .I just caught that about the "come in" instead of "come out."

Hmmmmm. . .

[I_WMD]

>>>. COOLio Grace ,,,, At that moment of his OK ... Never would have thought huh?

What was a fear of slipping >>> became a co-dependant of recovery .>>>. .<<<.