I think my T was trying to tell me that I may have a problem and it really bothered me. I self medicate a lot with perscription drugs. The doctors keep giving them to me so I did not see a problem. My T says my meds are not working because I built up a tolerance to all the meds from playing dr. If I don't think a psyc med is working I take more or take something in the cabinet that I am no longer on. Well I was really pissed about this and came home and flushed everything. Now I want it back. I feel so sick. I know some of the stuff I was taking was addicting (pain killers and muscle relaxers). I think this is me admitting that I have a problem in a round about way. At least it is in the toilet and I can't get it back to easily. I just want to feel healthy again so badly. I will do whatever my pdoc says even if the meds make me fat. I want stability.

[DePressMe]

Hi Twirls, not all the meds will make you fat---express that concern to your pdoc. Getting rid of the extra meds in your cabinet was a good move! We are here to support you. Things will get better--you will feel better. It may take a bit for all the meds to get out of your system and you may have a bit of a withdrawal, but after that, sobriety does feel good. Well, okay, maybe not roses all the time, but most definitely better than using! Welcome to sobriety!

[trippinmickey]

I to self medicated for years on pain killers i know how you feel. Now im on meds. and they are working I wouldnt go back .But at the time if it wasnt for the pain killers I would have killed my self. life was just that painful it was the only time i had peace in my head was when i was high .getting off them was very very hard I couldnt stand being me but with time the meds . start working and then you can adjust them to fit .that the trick just dont take what is given to you work with your doctor to adjust them so you feel the way you wont . You can have peace without painkillers its just takes more work to get .

[Soidhonia]

(((TWIRLS))). I am sorry that you are suffering to this degree at this time. I think it was a good idea to throw out the other medication that you may not have realized you were addicted to at the time, but you need to work through the addiction problem with your therapist to help you at this time to feel more stable. Take care. Twirls. PM anytime. Soidhonia