I really do not ...

..... believe I am posting here .....

I have chaired N A meetings >> and 12 step program I most like for those that should ask for forgiveness from those they hurt or let down ...

But in reality >>. It is up to the peep that feels they need to except the fact they have >> what ???? Limited controll ?

Please Do not take this wrong :

We all know the reason we decide most the time is because we are about to lose something or someone >>.

That is not exactly the best motivation >> for any ol' excuse will do !!
The re-blame game .
I tried but ..... Or the >> If you would be patient with me >> then .... or even the straight out >> So I am an addict and / or >> have addictive personality disorder .

Now ya say >> I go to work everyday >> I have friends and they enjoy my company as I do theirs >. bottom line it ...I am a functioning alcoholic / substance abuser ,.

But that is only because you are going to work so you have a roof over your head and your addiction of choice >> food and bills paid .. But what if ?

You begin to question >> " Why do I do this " ?

So Ya look back to FAMILY History ?

Now the blame game gives ya re-enforcement ,

And to tell yourself I am OK > And My Friends seem to be ok { those that you are around that drink / or use illicit drugs } are your they do it >> so I quess I can too .

At this point ya begin to wonder >>what if ?? again >> all the excuses make sense >> and to stop is like >> not a problem >> so I see >> why take away the one thing I do >>>> That is harmless and only hurts me >> If that be the truth ...

If to look at ourselves and feel we only doing it for >> As we need to ?

Then you would not wonder why it is in the forefront of your thoughts .

What I have learned is ....... To stop any addiction is a personal choice for the best reason that motivates best >> for each individual .

Cannot Believe I posted in this Forum >>..

For I am an addict .>> addictions are not so easily defined though .

WMD.

I wanted to say good job.

Minime >> I have staid away from this thread >> for the only reason being >> so many dif addictions are the same >>. more as >> Most folks do denial .

WMD.

WMD

Good post. you're right we do want to have to do it for ourselves. And you should hang out here more often. We're not at all scary. I promise.

--splitimage

OK Split ,, I believe yas all not scarey ,, just took me a month to return ...eeerrrrrrrrrmmmmmmm... Laugh a bit .. although what I have to share is not that humorus...

I have learned something though .... if people close to us are under severe stress >>> I / we ,, can feel it and stress also .

NOT that ,,, That is any excuse for MY falling down and majorily falling into an old habit >>......Except there is an upside >> I have cut my beer consumption to just about nill . .

Unfortunately >> my viens have taken a heck of a beating ....

BuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuT >>>.... There lays another silver lineing to that dark cloud ,, Can't be bothered to keep poking >> and going >> argh .

Sooooooooooooo,, I just except that I be human >> with past flaws ,, that seem to rear up at certain times ... and I learn from this experience >> and know that ,, I best get a grip .



WMD.....can't believe I just admitted to that ..

da' nile is not a river in egypt.
you know what you need to do to get a grip...so "do or not do". it's a difficult beginning but i think you know the rewards if you were ever clean and sober. glad you shared your thoughts. that's a beginning. are you familiar with the "Promises"? (pg. 84 of the "Big Book") they are real. i know because they happened to me!

((((wmd)))) just because I care.

the rewards if you were ever clean and sober.
madisgram,,,,,? Been there ,, done that .,,Did I mention somewhere in this thread >>>>>..." For I am an addict "......

What I am trying to point out is this : Ya fight it everyday ,, just sometimes you have a whole lot of days running together >>..Even YEARS !!

Thanks bop ,,,, I went ahead and left that pointy alone this week .... It really isn't that hard to do ..

WMD.

hi wmd,
i get it....and do relate to the struggles you are going through. i couldn't get sober the first time i tried..or the second, etc...it took me a while to make it stick. not that i'm recommending that or braggin' that i 'slipped' so often. for me it was all about the choices i made. i kept telling myself that i just wanted to be "normal" like my friends (what ever is that?!!!)...so i'd pick up 'da drink again. i always got the same result..for me, failure to be able to stop...til, like you said, i chose to.
i'm glad you are talking about this and hope to see ya around this forum.

..........

Hi...
Just wanted to check in and see how ya are doing
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Cap

WMD, you are doing great on this, its really hard at times to turn a new leaf but it can happen... ive stumbled many times too, i know you arent a quitter friend

Cap,,It be cool ,,, I ....................................

WMD.

I go ahead and respond to this:>>>>[ as soon as someone tells me how to turn off the spell checker ] >>.......LOL.

Run ,, not to be attituded ,,,[ grrrr ..... spell checker ]

I have this way ,,,, * Be patient >> never ask why >> and always just sit >>>. silently ,, and wait ......

* Be patient * ..... So far I have know along while ,, as many here find >>>...........patience is a subjective time thingy >> . [ or suggested ].

And then there is always .... the inevitable next day >> New periouls { ...hopes that spells periouls/perilus/ATM ? >> use phonitics..../prolly still spelt wrong ?----? I ASKING !!!! >> hehe. }

I think ,, have fun and have laughter and >> have fun .

sometimes i read between the lines well enough WMD and sometimes i dont.. hope you're good and having a good time and being safe for you

Run ,,,? >> Ya know how some read my * odd way of writting * >>>.They Go " HUH " ... LOL .

The " subjective time thingy " >>. goes with the next paragraph like thingy ,, I call time >> ATM and just around the corner ...

.......and you can choose to laugh or cry........

..........and sometimes hard to know the difference ...........

I have 1 week of sobriety . :/

WMD.

1 week and a day >>>...... completely clean and sober ......

WMD.

wmd
congrats keep going you can stay clean and sober
wishing you the best

you can do this [[[[WMD!]]]]]]]]]]

(((( WMD )))) I have so much faith in you. You can do it... I know you can.

I am so very very proud! woo hoo!

you are doing this!!!!!!!!!

(((( WMD ))))

Congratulations! Take it slow, one day, one hour or even 15 minutes at a time. Just don't use - no matter what!