[jbug]

I went last night to the new Walmart just to look around because my friend works there and I thought hey I'll shop there once to support her. Well its in Missouri and there they can sell liquor at Walmart here in Arkansas they can't. To make a long story short I ended up with a 6 pack of Zima hard orange in my cart. I took it home drank 2 of them feeling extremely guilty and happy at the same time if that's possible and went to bed with meds and liquor in my body. I don't know if that was a good combo and probably should have called to see if it was ok for me to take my meds but oh well the past is in the past but what do I do with the other 4 bottles? I want to go home tonight after my Sunday School party drink them all down get snockered and run naked through the streets...ok maybe not run naked through the streets but get snockered none the less. So be thinking of me tonight as I make my decision.

Janniebug

[nothemama8]

Janniebug how long were ya on the wagon, definitly don't run nakie down the street, do ya have the strenght to pour them down the sink, no matter what were here for ya
Angie

[jbug]

I was on the wagon for 2 1/2 years. I tried to dump it down the drain yesterday but ended up drinking 2 of them. I have 2 left and we will see if I can do it today.

Janniebug

[shadowalker164]

Janniebug…
My suggestion to you is to go back to that Wall mart and pick up a case of that crap, and drink it as fast as you can. And after that, go do it again, and again and again.
You are in that sad place of just wanting to want to quit. You aren’t ready. Until you are in deep and unrelenting spiritual pain, you are going to play this game. It’s still fun. If you are lucky, it will a lot harder soon, if you aren’t lucky it won’t.
You sound like a young person, your body bounces back quickly. Try to picture yourself at 30 or 40, a washed up and bloated sot with no family or friends left that will have anything to do with you. Your liver screams at you every time you take a drink and you have to drink just to stop the shakes.
At that point you might be ready to admit total defeat, and start moving on with a sober life, maybe, maybe not. But right now, you’re having way too much fun.
We’ll see you around the rooms when it stops being so much fun. And it will.

Shadowalker 164

[Myzen]

Hi Janniebug,

Yes, that happened to me last week. My wife was out and I had a night with the single malt. It was fun for a couple of hours. Next day? Hungover - ouch.

But, you know, For a long time now I have been so glad of the straight days. Maybe old habits can actually fade out. I know that AA don't say that, but over a period of a couple of years I have gradually moved over from heavy drinker to occasional drinker. The evidence is in the units, and I don't have to count them any more.

It can happen.

Good luck, Myzen.

[BamaSurvivor]

Myzen, I'd have to agree with you there. From the beginning of Intensive Out Patient Relapse Prevention, I was told an alcoholic or drug addict could never use 'socially' as *regular* people could. I had gotten to where I drank a whole bottle of Jagermeister a day and still wanted more, but recently I drank two Smirnoff's and it made me kinda icky so I stopped. I think the desire just kinda fades for some after so long without it, but I guess it depends on the individual.