Freaking out after therapy session.

My T (private) told me today she was stuck with me and that it was her professional opinion I see an ED specialist via my GP. I am really freaking out. She said she doesn't think I will recover from this and will end up in hospital soon.

I live in the UK and if the fertility clinic see this on my record I won't be eligible for IVF, I'm so scared. At present my eyesight is becoming blurry, my hands are purple tinted and my period has nearly dissapeared, but apart from that I'm ok.

I told her no, but I know she wants to terminate with me regarding my ED.

I say this with gentle compassion, okay? But my dear, how can undertake IVF (forget pregnancy) when your body is in a state of starvation....I know all the feeling attached to your T and it must feel like you are being brushed aside but don't you think it would be best to be out of the ED before you add motherhood to the mix? Hugs- I know it's not so simple but you deserve to fully recover

Thank you, your words are the truth, I appriciate your response. Hugs to you xxxx

I'm sorry you're going through this Rect0path. I agree with precious about the motherhood vs recovery thing, it would be very hard on your body especially given the stress it is already under (I have been pregnant and given birth so I speak from experience) and recovering from your ED really gives you the best chance at a healthy life, and your future child the best chance at having the same. Because children need to grow in a well-nourished, well-taken-care-of body, not just for themselves but for the mother too. Childbearing and birthing can be dangerous if not.
I also think it was extremely unsupportive and insensitive of your T to say that to you. I mean, you're trying to recover. If they don't think they can work with you, they owe it to you to pair you with someone who may have what they are lacking to do their job - patience, compassion, whatever. But to tell you you're not going to recover? That's the LAST thing someone with an ED needs to hear and I sincerely hope you didn't listen to them. It's not true. Everyone can recover. Everyone.

Sadly sometimes when we don't listen to what our T is saying (or anyone as far as that goes) they can feel that tough love is the only thing left to get you to come to your senses.

I know they exaggerate at times....but the exaggeration is only a little beyond the truth they speak.

The first thing that hit my thoughts was why in the world would you even try to have a baby through IVF when in a serious low weight condition, either the baby wouldn't survive or it would take every last bit from you & you would be the one that wouldn't survive the child birth. If you are truly serious about the IVF & having a child....then you need to be in the best possible healthy condition....I can tell you from personal experience....having a baby isn't easy & the work involved after they are born is expensive....it not like it's a baby doll you can place in a crib & it doesn't require any care....it's exhausting & if you don't have energy in the first place from having low weight besides I know from personal experience, my low weight didn't help with my logical thinking.....is that really the kind of mother you want to be for your child????

Sometimes we have to make difficult choices in our life. But you are the only one who can set your priorities.

I wouldn't dream of having IVF at this point in my life; but in the future when I'm better. I was due to start fertility treatment in a month but the procedure bought up csa regressions and relapsed me back with my ED.

A foetus would always come first-ALWAYS! We have been TTC for 4 years and I've been normal weight for most of that time. My hubby has low sperm count.

Relapsing is my way of coping but it's ruining my future, I feel so trapped. If I see an ED specialist the hospital won't let me have IVF later on as I'm donating my eggs to.

In reality....you don't need ED treatment...you need good treatment to deal with your CSA.....if you can learn to handle that through your therapy you won't be having the ED issues.

Most ED issues come from things like your CSA & are the initial foundations of the cause of it.....most everyone that has an ED has some sort of trauma even if it's way back in their childhood.....ED's are not ALL about body image issues...those issues usually come from something & it's that something that NEEDS TREATED so that the ED can finally be controlled & stop being triggered with the need for the ED.

Thank you everyone for your kind, concise and heartfelt replies.

I wish you all the best and thank you.

Do any of you know if a therapist can break confidentiality in the UK, even if ones weight is not especially at usual inpatient range and not especially bad?

I completely understand the frustration with your T. I have developed a good relationship with my T and even though he is not specialized in EDs I can't imagine having to start all over with another T.

I started going to my T for other issues and just recently opened up about my issues with food and body image. I have never had a healthy relationship with food and what restarted the ED behaviors this time was my fear of not being able to have a child of my own. Not taking care of myself is not going to help me get pregnant and carry a child. I hope you are able to get the help you deserve and take care of yourself. Like others have said, you need to be able to take care of yourself before you can think about not only carrying a fetus to term birth, but also being able to take care of an infant.

I wish you luck and hope your T can be more sensitive to your needs.