Lied and doomed

Give me advice, ask me questions, tell me her opinion, tell me what I should do next...

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It sounds like it would really help if soneone were kind and understanding, listened to you, and helped you make decisions. I say that because your dad does give you advice and does tell you what to do, but not so much with listening, asking nonjudgmental questions, or offering helpful (rather than directive) opinions.
How accurate ido you feel what I just said is?

Hello beanbag0 and I'm so sorry that you feel bad about yourself. I've always felt like that and I was a fat kid which diddnt help in any way I, being teased at by other kids. Although it diddnt effect me badly at the time, it sure did once I actually left school. The first "diet" worked so well that I ended up in the psych hospital with anorexia and depression. This continued for many years, I went from underweight to way way overweight and suicidal bids ensured I spent more time in psych hospital, which actuallyc felt to be a "safe" place for me. Years later and 56 years old I still suffer eating disorders. I feel that if I'd have a decent understanding T over those years, I'd have found a way out of my immediate issues. It's important for you to find a T who gels with you, this doesn't always happen with the first T you meet, it's always well worth trying to seek another if it's at all possible. I wish you luck and hope you find someone who can help you. HUGS. X

I think you are very right... but how do you find a therapist like that

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Well it often takes more than one try to find a therapist that is suitable. You found yourself one T, you could find yourself another. Plus, if the T seems like a good person but has some problems, you could try to solve the problems by politely telling her specifically what you want and don't want her to do.

Also, you can continue to speak here, and perhaps speak here more often. People here are not Ts, but in my experience they do typically try to help in the way that you said: Give me advice, ask me questions, tell me her opinion, tell me what I should do next.

You could give that a try by posting something here that you might like to ask or tell a T (if you had one). I hope that you do.

(((((Beanbag0)))))

eATEATEAT i would love to join you but i'm too big right now

Hello again. I don't know how the system works in other countries other than the UK, but here we don't get the choice of who our T is, they are provided free on the NHS so beggars can't be choosers!! My last T just wasn't strong or assertive enough really, it always seemed all that I was doing was offloading on her and not moving forward at all. Yet when I did DBT group therapy for people suffering Boarderline Personality Disorder, it proved so much better. Sharing common problems that effect people with BPD proved a great relief, I wasn't alone in the world with all of the horrible symptoms and effects. As somebody mentioned, you found this T, so is it possible to find another in the same way? Take care and stay safe. Xxx

The problem is that therapists here r so expensive so if u pick the wrong one you waste quite a bit of money on the first session. I saved up to go to the first one and it was just so dissapointing. It took so much courage for me to actually go and then it went badly and I don't know how I'm going to have the courage to go back to another

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Darling, hang on, you've only been to this new T once, so most impossile to know (going on that one meeting) that this person is not for you. I know it's easy for me to say BUT, please give it a chance. A decent relationship takes time to build up and I do absolutely understand how frustrating this can be. It's also very expensive to refer yourself to a private T here (UK) and I've never been in the situation to refer myself to anybody but a given NHS T. I found that the various CPN's (community psych nurse) have been sometimes much much better than the designated T. You will also find that other members or friends here on PC will defo offer you a huge amount of support and first hand understanding, I've found PC and my friends absolutely amazing whether I'm OK, good or suicidally bad and very depressed. Keep sharing hunny and we'll keep supporting. I'll send you a friends request and its up to you if you'd like me as a friend. Keep returning to this ED thread for continuing support and sharing. Xxxxxx

Beanbag0, you were really dedicated to save up money for the therapist and then courageous to actually go there. Good job! But it was such a let down to find out that that particular T did not seem good for you.

I wonder if there might be ways to go to a therapist where you don't have to save up so much money, e.g. insurance? Are your parents willing to help financially with a therapist?

I agree with waggiedog: I hope that you will keep posting here on PC!