[Beanbag0]

I told my dad I weighed 45kgs but I actually weigh 42 and he has given me until the 1st of may to get to 47! He thinks it's just 2kgs but it's actually 5! I feel sick, I am so screwed and sad and don't know what to do...

Time to start eating.

[eskielover]

You can add a little higher calorie foods without adding much more to eat & it will help you get there.....won't feel any more full but it will help to gain the needed weight.

[pinkflower17]

Originally Posted by Beanbag0

I told my dad I weighed 45kgs but I actually weigh 42 and he has given me until the 1st of may to get to 47! He thinks it's just 2kgs but it's actually 5! I feel sick, I am so screwed and sad and don't know what to do...

Is he getting you any help with all of that? I've had an eating disorder most of my life, and was at a dangerously low weight throughout most of high school and my dad's solution was always "what do we need to do to get you to gain some weight". It took child protective services being called and a lot more drama before I ever got real treatment. I don't think he meant not to help, he just didn't know better. I think a lot of the time, parents, especially dad's. don't want to see something, so they don't, but the problem is still there. Food is never really the true issue. Weight is never really the core issue. If your weight is that low, you probably need some pretty intensive treatment and really should be under a doctor's supervision.
Can you talk to him about at least seeing your doctor and seeing where they take it from there?

[eskielover]

A lot of parents feel that their kids don't listen to them anyway & any thoughts they have their kids wouldn't do anyway.....so it would almost be the logical thinking from that mindset to ask the kid what it is that they would be willing to do. Parents are so afraid they are going to just make matters worse than better if they take any action against what their kids are doing.......wow, who would think that kids would end up with that kind of power over their parents????

The best thing is to go to an MD & they will know what action is necessary....there were a few times when my blood work came back so bad I landed in the hospital with a central line & IV nutrition....Honestly, it's easier to eat if you can.....I had gone through a trauma the last time & the stress my body was feeling made me sick every time I even smelled food let alone tried to eat.

There is usually a lot more behind ED's than just wanting to be thin....that usually comes after weight loss starts because it's sort of addicting.....but there is usually something serious that triggers the weight loss or wanting to loose weight in the first place....even like wanting to be invisible because of something that has happened to you......

It's definitely NOT something to mess around with because of the damage it does to all parts of the body.....there isn't any part of the body (including hair...like straw) that isn't effected by massive weight loss.

[Fuzzybear]

[Lady Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Beanbag0

I told my dad I weighed 45kgs but I actually weigh 42 and he has given me until the 1st of may to get to 47! He thinks it's just 2kgs but it's actually 5! I feel sick, I am so screwed and sad and don't know what to do...

You don't have to feel doomed, it sounds like your Dad is trying to help you by being stern, nor realizing it really, at times, feels it is beyond a choice.... I understand..... I am a Mom and Grandma and know that parents mean well, but sometimes get frustrated trying to help a child, not understanding what is really going on... I am also Anorexic, which I am just finally beginning to accept... so maybe I see both sides?

Have you been getting counseling? I have finally found a Therapist I have started to connect with, my ED is part of my other issues I have. The counseling is helping me actually admit that I have an ED.....

In the meantime, even if you are having a hard time eating, maybe eat a little protein and work out a little to help your muscle tone this will help you gain weight without gaining inches? It has helped me eat a little more...If you are not in counseling, please talk to your Dad about getting one.

[Beanbag0]

I am not seeing a therapist. I don't think I would be able to ask my dad... and I don't know if I am able to talk about it at all

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[Bill3]

What would be pros and cons of trying to change, and what would be pros and cons of continuing to live as you are?

(((((beanbag0)))))

[Beanbag0]

Pros of changing: conforming to my dad. Cons of changing: conforming to my dad, feeling worse about myself, losing control, getting fat, looking fine outside when I feel bad inside

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[Beanbag0]

The pros I meant that I won't be badgered by my dad anymore

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[Bill3]

Thanks! What do you badger your dad about now?

[Beanbag0]

I don't badger him he is always on my back about my weight

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[Bill3]

Oh he badgers you. I'm sorry, I misread your post.

So really right now you don't see any reason to change, other than getting your father off of your back.

[eskielover]

The thing is that it takes more control to stay at a healthy weight than it does to not eat & loose weight. Just because you eat well doesn't mean you have to get fat & look horrible on the outside.....got news, it doesn't feel good inside to be so anorexic you land in the medical hospital with all the insides failing....there is NOTHING good feeling about that......IV nutrition through a PICC line or a Central line or even a feeding tube....doesn't FEEL GOOD. There is nothing that anorexia leads to that FEELS GOOD other than one's imagination.

Your dad is probably badgering you because he cares....would you rather that he didn't care & said absolutely NOTHING & just let you die without saying a word?

[Beanbag0]

I'm not going to die and even if I wanted to it's my choice not his.

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[Bill3]

Does he ask you to see a therapist or doctor or nutritionist?

[Beanbag0]

No

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[Bill3]

How are you feeling generally? In previous threads you've talked about different problems that you would (at those times at least) have liked help with.

[Beanbag0]

Generally... I have no idea... I want help but I'm scared. I don't want the help from my dad because he just makes me angry and out of control. I feel aweful about myself all the time and know that I need to eat to put on a bit of weight but I feel like a pig if I eat more than my usual...

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[Bill3]

I'm so sorry that you feel awful about yourself all of the time. Would you be willing to say more about how you are feeling, what you feel awful about?

(((((Beanbag0)))))

Right, your dad is not in a position to help in the way that a good therapist could. I trust that he means well but it sounds like you would benefit from someone who is better at listening and understanding.

In one of your threads at least you spoke of seeing a therapist. How possible is it for you to see one again, and how likely would you be to see one if you could?

(((((Beanbag0)))))

[Beanbag0]

I just feel like there is nothing special about me... my hair is an ordinary brown... I have pimples... I have funny teeth... my legs r too skinny and I'm just ugly. I don't know who to even approach about getting a good therapist and whenever I try to go to one I don't tell them how I feel... I'm so used to acting okay on the outside and I just sit there awkwardly .

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[Bill3]

Thanks for your replies. It sounds like you feel ordinary at best, or even less than ordinary, and lacking, and it hurts to feel like that. But you keep the hurt in--maybe people don't listen with kindness and understanding, so it feels safer to keep the hurt in. I'm really sorry that things hurt so much.

(((((Beanbag0)))))

It does take time to feel comfortable with a therapist. It takes time to know that she will respond with kindness and understanding and therefore to begin to trust her. How did you find your last one, how did you feel about her, and how did you end up stopping seeing her?

[Beanbag0]

She didn't help me at all. She just sat there looking all encouraging but I might as well have been talking to a wall. .. I found her on a health care site on the Internet.

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[Bill3]

I'm really sorry. She sounds so frustrating.. What should she have done instead in order to be helpful to you?