Do I have ASPD?

I know that most of you aren't doctors, so I'm not expecting a diagnosis here, but I still want some advice, if any of you have some. For quite some time I've been a liar. It has been my way of not getting involved in telling the real story to those around me. (Quite coincidentally, I'm extremely truthful to people I don't know) It hasn't really been a problem as of late, but when I was growing up, I lied consistently.

I don't really have a relationship with my parents because of this. I spent my entire youth / adolescence lying to them, and avoiding meaningful conversations. They've never been anything but helpful to and supportive of me, so I don't know why I've avoided them all this time, but I have. There are some times when I feel like I can't even be around them, almost because I despise them for being so supportive of a son like me.

I've cut off all of my friends. I don't reach out to any of them any more, and they don't reach out to me. It doesn't really matter, because the only time we would spend together would involve either drugs or alcohol. I was using them to get high, or for people to be around so that I wouldn't be alone at a bar. When we would hang out, their views and opinions infuriated me, but I pretended not to care, so long as I could smoke their weed.

I'm somewhat of a womanizer, although as of late I havent' even had the desire for sex. Until about 6 months ago, the usual routine was to find someone out, go on a date and never talk to them again. No matter how the date went. If we had a great date, where she was interested and involved, I still wouldn't contact her again. But recently, I don't even want to have contact with people any more. All I want to do is exercise and go to work.

To those of you with ASPD, does this sound familiar? Could this be another disorder? Is this just a phase in my life that I'm going through? I'm very confused as to why it has had a sudden onset. Until age 26, I was very friendly, sociable and outgoing. But, now I'm introverted, a shut-in and too arrogant to be friendly to anyone anymore. I contemplate suicide constantly, but I want to know if maybe things will change?

First and foremost, since you admitted you have as of recent been a chronic liar, I have to question whether there is anything untruthful in your post.

Even though ASPD stands for, "anti-social", it doesn't mean that those with it are necessarily introverted and avoid people as much as possible. Instead, it refers to going against the norms and morals instilled by members of society. Many people with it are or seem to be friendly, sociable and outgoing. The reason I include, "seem to be" is because there often are ulterior motives for such social acts. For example, you may like a friend because they share similar interests in music, whereas someone with ASPD may socialize with them for that reason, or because their parents easily give lots of money to them and easy to manipulate.

Additionally, like all personality disorders, ASPD is seen around early childhood to early teen years and doesn't change easily. From what you described, everything changed when you were 26 years old. I cant tell you why you have this sudden onset because there are many factors to consider and all I know about you is this blurp, whereas you've known yourself for 26+ years.

It's clear you're intentionally avoiding others, feel bummed out, think of killing yourself very often, so to me, that all spells depression. I cant tell you why, maybe you were in a relationship that went tits up and you got burnt by it quite badly and are reflecting the traits the partner displayed. Maybe you've experienced a loss of friendship from others and to prevent further hurt you avoid any sort of personal commitments. Maybe you've had a change in how you view society. Maybe you experienced a loss, whether it be personal, financial, and the list of possibilities goes on. I'm quite certain though it's not ASPD.

First off: Thanks for helping me shed some light and look inward. I'm very confused as to whats going on, and you bring up some good points. To be honest, I'm not sure if I was ever truly sociable and friendly, or I was just being that way to get something from someone. ie: sex, drugs, drinks at the bar. Even though I feel like it's been a sudden onset, I don't think thats accurate.

I kind of got to the point where I was tired of putting up a front for people. My "closest friends" were people that smoked weed. I didn't want to pay for it, so I would hang out with them strictly to smoke weed. We've never, ever had a meaningful conversation. It was all surface talk. Looking back, I don't miss their friendship at all, because I was just using them. I wonder if this is because of depression, or something else. I'm curious to find out, but to be honest I don't want treatment. I just kind of want an answer one way or the other.

You could be 100% accurate when it comes to depression.. But I was in a relationship a few years back.. and I used to use my "depression" as a way to keep her from leaving. I would tell her if she left I would kill myself in order to get sympathy. Whereas now I contemplate it for a similar reason. I want people to think they could have done more to help me. That letting me shut everyone out emotionally for the past few years was wrong.

Yes you have ASPD, you are doomed forever.

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jk :P