[wi_fighter]

No anxiety yet, but it usually doesn't kick in until around 2:30, just before the kids get home and they start getting ready to head to their dad's. I'm hoping to avert it this week.

I feel so childish, but I came right out and asked my daughter if I can sleep easy while she's at her dad's. She answered with a half-hearted "yes. He doesn't yell as much now that Wendy's moved in. I think she'd get mad." I lay awake most night's during the week they're with him, wondering how they're being treated, what mean things he's saying to them, whether he's even paying attention to them, and it seeps into all aspects of my life - work, getting out into the community, my appetite, whether I manage to shower that day or not....

Like Pat says, I'm giving him my power by ruminating on the "what's" and I need to stop doing that. I can't control what happens in his household, I can only try to minimize the after effects by making sure I and my kids have a healthy support system.

I had such wonderful plans this week to get us to some support groups, and that fell through as usual. Didn't have enough money to gas up the car, didn't get work done early enough to take off for 3-1/2 hours between driving and the actual group, my son had hunter's safety class (and would he pitch a fit if I even suggested we go to a group? Most likely. He hates change.) Now I'm hoping I can get myself to a group this coming week to get a feel for it, before taking the kids along. One nervous person is bad enough, I don't need to project those feelings on to my kids.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, though. I didn't file taxes yet. I'm going to owe about $10,000 since I couldn't pay anything towards quarterlies last year. I don't even have my deductions in order. I have laundry to dry, a change of clothes to run to the school for my daughter's sleepover, work to do, videos to return, a computer to finish emptying out so the ex can't access websites I've visited and all of my bank and credit card and other assorted passwords once I return it to him, a second computer to put the finishing touches on so I can do my work on that one.


OK, now I AM starting to get tingly handed just thinking about it, taxes especially.

Calm down, Shirl, calm down. You can get through this day. I PROMISE.

[Feynman]

Hi wi_fighter,

I am having a hard time getting started today too. I am trying to remain calm and stay focused on solving my problems today. You CAN get through this day. You WILL get through this day. You have a tough couple of challenges in front of you, but nothing that you can't handle. You sound competent enough, regardless of what your funky brain chemistry might be telling you. Hang in there.

let's hold hands now and go mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. and then play your tibetan monk CD and chill. i was awakened at 2 a.m. by the pain in my knee. i took a darvocet and went back to bed. the pill knocks me out. i did not go in to work. so that's a days wages that i won't get....BUT, i'm healthy otherwise and the sun is shining, my pets are healthy and fun, Stella and Bella are both healthy .... so i'm going to try to make the best of my day here at home.......xoxoxo pat

[wi_fighter]

Hi feynman. Welcome to the boards. This is a great place to relieve some anxiety. I'm sure Chitown and Fayrerody will be by eventually. They're a couple of great people.

Yes, I know I can make it through today, even if I have to file an extension. I'll be taking penalties anyway, since I can't even pay them $1 today, so an extension isn't any more of a stressor. This is the third year I've had to put my taxes on a monthly payment schedule. Same ol', same ol'. At least I'm showing intent to pay and not evading the IRS. That's the best I can do at the moment. No one in a black suit and gov't car has shown up at my door ready to take away all my earthly possessions yet. LOL I think they have more important matters to deal with.

I still haven't gotten started. I was just heading out to dry the clothes and return the movies, when the ex called and said he's going out of town for work next week and needs me to watch the kids an extra three days. This is actually a good thing, since them being at his place is a major source of anxiety for me lately.

However, it stopped the forward progress I was making because he got another call from work before we were finished and said he'd call me back. Now I'm waiting on the call and can't do the other things yet.

[wi_fighter]

Pat, how'd you know I have a Tibetan monk CD?

haha, actually I don't, but I do have some of those relaxing yoga music CDs. Might not be a bad idea to pop one in as background noise.

[Parker10]

Congrats on the day being good so far ! YOu have a full plate for sure . I have been thru that route with the kids going to their Dad's, only weekends tho. He wasnt the greatest Dad in the world for sure (one reason I left him), but I finally decided to make peace with myself and accept the fact they were "Half" his, and like you, I would be their "safe place to fall" if their time with him did not go well (it usually did, I just never thought anyone could be as good a parent as I was !!
My son's are now grown, and they turned out just fine!

You have quite a list of things you need to do - perhaps you can make a list of what has to be done first and so on. Check them off as you are finished.

A Support Group sounds great and you going alone the first time might even be the best way to do it. Then you can talk to your children about what to expect.

Good luck, and take care of YOU during this time !!

[wi_fighter]

Morning Parker. Thanks for the encouraging words.

First off, I'm going to take this unexpected extra time with my kids as a means of wiping out my anxiety. I'll see them this afternoon, they'll have the weekend with their dad, Monday morning, and then be here again. It will give me much needed down time, cuz we all know no matter how much we love our kids, sometimes we wish we could loan them to someone else for a few days every so often.

Friday mornings can be absolute hell. It's like something kicks in with the kids inner workings because it's the day they switch houses and all they can do is *****, *****, ***** at each other. It doesn't help that they're 12 and 14 and each thinks the other's fashion choices are horrendous. That's what usually gets the arguments started. Then my son picks on his sister for being so sensitive.

Calgon, take me awayyyyyyyy!!!!!!

So, Pat, how 'bout them Tibetan monks?

[Feynman]

Thanks for the welcome

"At least I'm showing intent to pay and not evading the IRS. That's the best I can do at the moment. No one in a black suit and gov't car has shown up at my door ready to take away all my earthly possessions yet. LOL I think they have more important matters to deal with."

Yeah, you're small fry to the guys in black suits. And I'm sure you'll keep making progress. I'm glad you'll have the kids for longer.

I've been stuck at the house for several days with a virus and I'm freaking out because I've left so much on the table at school and at work. I've been trying to seperate the real symptoms of my flu from the psychological stuff and it's making me anxious. Taking time off to rest and recover from a virus is fine but I'd rather not miss class or work because of a mood.

I've been on a roll for several weeks now, handling my problems with equanamity and keeping my spirits up. But after the flu disrupted my normal routine this week, I feel the weight of anxiety and depression descending on me. It is discouraging

[wi_fighter]

Feynman, I can totally relate to that. I work on production, so the days I'm not feeling so great and don't work as hard means I have to work harder the remaining days of the pay peiriod. Then I start getting anxious that I'll never dig out of THAT hole and end up digging a bigger hole. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it?

[wi_fighter]

Clothes are dried, movies are returned, tax extension has been filed BUT...

After I mailed it, I wondered if you're supposed to file one for State and one for Federal? I'm assuming since State falls under Federal in the whole tax process, that one form covers both, but I don't want to make that assumption on my own.

Anyone know for sure?

[chitown]

I've been on a roll for several weeks now, handling my problems with equanamity and keeping my spirits up. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

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Feynman, I can totally relate! Just after the new years I got sick and I had it for two weeks. I couldn't kick it because it made me anxious and my anxiety was so bad that it made me sicker. I just couldn't get better. I took some time off of work and that finally did it.
It will get better. Just stop worrying about what you have to do and worry about yourself for a day or so. You will be amazed how much better you feel. I have never been a selfish person, but I found out that in order for me to get better I had to become that way. It isn't easy. You can do it!

WI. (((((((((((((((BIG HUGS WI)))))))))))))))))))
You have alot on your plate, but you can do it. Prioritize. Remember that book, I think it is Thomas the train? I think I can, I think I can, Change that to I know I can, I know I can, I know I can, And all of us Know you can too!

[Feynman]

Thanks for the support chitown

Shirley (wi_fighter) sorry for jacking your thread

I dragged myself to lab and ended up having a good time. I am far behind on my lab notebook but I had fun trading "how cool is that!" snake stories with my lab TA.

[wi_fighter]

Noooo problems Feynman. I'm not too hung up on whether or not my threads get taken over.

But since you're new in these parts, assume that no one will put up with it because there are a few people who will pull out a big ol' can o' whoop *** if you stray off topic or, heaven forbid, turn the attention away from the thread starter.

[Feynman]

Oh no. not the big 'ol can o' whoop ***!

I think this is still on topic, but correct me otherwise. Besides for joining this forum and spending way too much time on it, my day has shaped up really well considering how I started it. Were you able to keep your momentum going after the morning?

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((WI Fighter)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sending hugs and support your way.

[wi_fighter]

Feyn, my momentum didn't get me too far. I still have half a day's work to go yet, it's 5:30, and it took me about 6 hours to get through the first half, considering all of the interruptions. This could be a lonnnnnng night of work.

Hey Jen, thanks for the hugs and support. It's actually been a good day anxiety wise.

[Feynman]

Best of luck getting your work done. How can you make it more enjoyable? Do you have a creative way to find the joy in your work?

[wi_fighter]

I do medical transcription, there really isn't any way to make it enjoyable. Racing the clock is about all I can do, but then I make too many typos.

I don't feel too bad about working late tonight since I actually got out of the house a few times today, but I do need to get into a better work habit so I can spend more daylight hours away from the computer.

[Feynman]

You could....

Jam out to good music, race the clock without making typos , meditate on your fingers as they fly across the keyboard, keep a log of your performance so you can track it every day, or set up small goals for yourself in your work.

you have options for making your work more enjoyable. however far-fetched

[wi_fighter]

Jamming out to good music and meditating on my fingers? Ummm, can't manage those two things. I need to concentrate on the doctor's voices. Who knows what I might type if I've got the radio playing in the background.

We have tracking programs built in to the system, so I don't have to do that on my own.

The small goal setting is probably the best. We have to set up daily goals and I wake up thinking "Ugh, I have 1500 lines to go before I'm done" and don't just "git er done." I focus on the big number at the end of the day and am constantly thinking "1200 more to go" instead of "Yesss, 300 down, 1/5 of the day is done." (usually because it's taken me 2-3 hours to do 1/5). Bleh.

[Feynman]

Dang, this doesn't sound like fun at all. How'd you get into this line of work? What parts of it do you enjoy?

I don't want to sound like a know-it-all but this might be helpful. Martin Seligman, the University of Pennsylvania happiness researcher, suggests that we find out what our character strengths are and use them to transform our work, as far as possible, into something enjoyable. You can take his characther strengths test at www.authentichappiness.com.

The way I figure, we should do anything we can do to infuse enjoyment and meaning into our work, since we spend many of our waking hours at work.

---Saafir---

[wi_fighter]

I started out in the medical assistant program at tech school (not really my passion either, but the lab work was cool) and when we got to the transcription section I took to it like a duck to water.

I like it because I'm good at it and I know my attention to detail makes a difference in a lot of patient's lives and medical care, and it's interesting to learn about medical conditions. (good thing I'm not a hypochondriac. It's bad enough typing about cancer patients all day and then feeling monthly breast lumps and thinking "could it be? nah, stop worrying).

I work as an independent contractor instead of an employee because I can set my own income, but now my income needs have climbed so high that I don't have a lot of breathing room.

One technique I have started using this past week is a timer. Normally it takes 3 minutes of typing for every 1 minute of dictation, so I set it for 3 x the minutes and see if I can work nonstop until I finish the report and by how much I beat the average time. I have attention problems too, mostly because my job has become tedious, so anything to keep me motivated to keep typing instead of surfing the web or deciding that the middle of my work day is when the house REALLY needs cleaning (if you knew how much I hate cleaning, you would see how funny that is). LOL

[Feynman]

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I like it because I'm good at it and I know my attention to detail makes a difference in a lot of patient's lives and medical care, and it's interesting to learn about medical conditions.

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Sounds interesting. I recant my "how much fun can that be?" comment earlier. It sounds like you find your work meaningful and interesting most of the time. That is a really good sign.

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One technique I have started using this past week is a timer. Normally it takes 3 minutes of typing for every 1 minute of dictation, so I set it for 3 x the minutes and see if I can work nonstop until I finish the report and by how much I beat the average time. I have attention problems too, mostly because my job has become tedious, so anything to keep me motivated to keep typing instead of surfing the web or deciding that the middle of my work day is when the house REALLY needs cleaning (if you knew how much I hate cleaning, you would see how funny that is). LOL

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LOL Whatever you can do to prevent your work from becoming tedious is great. If it's driving you to house cleaning, you have a problem.

All the best,
Saafir