[lonely1]

I dont even know where to start with my story. I have been married to my husband for 15 years and we have an 11 year old son and 9-year daughter. Last week my husband came home with a story that he had shoved someone and was charged with battery, for which he would have to pay fines. Okay i was believing this. Then around 8pm my phone rang, anonymous caller saying that she was told that she heard that i would never know if someone didnt call and tell me that my husband was arrested for touching, actually she said molesting two women today. He at first denied this, but when he saw that i would no longer believe him then he said that he did and he didnt know why he did these things. Apparently there were three women, only the 3rd could not identify him positively. There have been some things since we were first married and of course he would always lie, which he does very, very well and i believed him. Later on there were more things that happened that he was able to convince me wasnt true. He was charged with 2 counts of battery for touching these women on the butt, he plead guilty and was to spend 48 hours in jail for this, still not telling me everything, just admitted the fines, not jail or anything else. I have seen him do certain things myself and our sexual relationship has been very upsetting to me for the last several years, either rough or with pornographic tones. He lies to me very often. He has always been very controlling, what clothes i could wear, who i talked to, could not go anywhere without him or without him following me. He would come and sit at my work all day in the parking lot somedays, not doing his own job.
Okay. He went to a psychologist yesterday and was told that it sounded like he could have obsessive compulsive disorder. Does the lying so good and easily come with this disorder? Can medicine help this truly? I have separated from him and he is staying at his mother's since one week ago. I just cant comprehend how this could all happen. He is still not admitting to me or confessing really, just the things that i make him confess after i have already found out. I can never trust him again, not truly, and i dont see how i could ever be happy living with him again. I go to talk to his psychologist tomorrow and he goes to a psychiatrist on Monday. If anyone has any suggestions or advice on how i should handle these things please let me know. My whole world is shattered, jack's personality would never let you think that he would do these things, and even when caught, he would try to lie about it. I cant help but wonder how many other women and wonder what all he has done. How can i get the truth if he doesnt tell me. Will this still happen with meds? Can i deal with this even if he is on meds and all. My husband and i were always close and this is a very big shock to the whole family. I dont see how i can ever go back. Please someone help me..............

[wi_fighter]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
He has always been very controlling, what clothes i could wear, who i talked to, could not go anywhere without him or without him following me. He would come and sit at my work all day in the parking lot somedays, not doing his own job.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Imscared, to me that sounds like emotional abuse, not OCD. It might help if you could talk to a women's abuse shelter to get some direction for your own emotional well being.

You've come to a good place to get some support.

Shirley

[jmo531]

Your hurt and distrust is understandable. What I would suggest is for you to do your own research regarding OCD and medications. You can do this on this site or by doing a simple search on the net. I have OCD, basically, for me, I have intrusive thoughts. Now I would never follow through on those thoughts. Thats part of the disorder. Im not sure if what he has is OCD. I'm not a DR so I have no idea the in's and out's. I can only speak from my own diagnosis. I wish you luck and please keep us posted.

[jmo531]

Also, I do take medications for my panic disorder and depression also. Yes, meds do help. Not 100% but in addition to my meds, I see a therapist. This with the meds is the best thing.

[lonely1]

thank you very much. I feel as if our whole lives have been about him and now this too. Even when i called the detective to find out what the charges were, he never returned my call, and told my husband that i had called and that he hadnt called me back, and that he didnt want to make it worse for him. after he had been to the police station begging them not to tell me. I really do feel alone, embarrassed, and scared and i appreciate all the support and caring that i can get. Thanks again.

[lonely1]

Shirley, that is part of my confusion. If he knew enough to lie to me how could he not know what he was doing. I have self-esteem issues, have always had, but this makes it all so very much worse. I feel that his obsession is me. What scares me is that i have read that this can run in families. I have alot of problems with behavior from my 11 year old son, alot of anger, and he doesnt want to talk to a counselor at all. This is all scaring me to death. I am trying to find out all information that i can. I think that it will help to talk with psychologist tomorrow and i also made an appointment with a counselor that i talked to once years ago for myself that is totally separate from him. I feel partly to blame because i didnt leave him when this first happened. His family thinks i should let him come back and us work on his ocd together. Im not ready for that, and i dont see how i could ever be ready to ever be in a marriage/relationship with him again. Thank you very much for giving me an opinion, very appreciated.

[Parker10]

From what u posted, I do not see OCD at all. Narcissism perhaps, anti-social personality disorder, etc. I am sure when u talk to a professional you will get a better idea of what could be going on with him. Medication can help greatly - for many diagnoses, but usually does not stop a chronic liar - and it sounds like he is one. Good luck to you, and I am sorry you are going thru such a troubling time !