[rob2244]

I think that I have always had an anxiety dissorder. I'm 39 years old with a wife and two daughters. Over the last 6 months my anxiety has gotten really bad. It got worse due to work stress. It got to the point that it was so bad at work that I finally broke and quit my job that I have been at for almost 17 years. I'm really scared and so anxious since that my legs feel either numb or cold and my head is pounding like my heart is inside of my brain. I have never told anyone about my anxiety because I was ashamed of it. My father had some form of mental illness which I believe to be close to if not the same thing that I have and he was taking 5 Thorzine a day. Of course i'm assuming this as I have not told a doctor or anyone else for that matter. I'm really scared now and don't know what to do. I love my family and I don't want any of this put on them at all. I'm to the point to where I don't know what to do. I just know that I can't keep going like this as I feel like my heart is going to explode. These feelings and also depression, but the anxiety is worse. Now i'm to he point that I don't see any coming away from this. If I go to the doctor then my family will be ashamed of me as I already am. I thought that maybe telling someone this might make me feel a little better, but I don't think so. I don't know what to do.........Rob

Please get professional help.

[Hippie]

Going to your doctor is nothing to be ashamed of and your family will be happy you did as they can see the anxiety you have.
Keep in touch on how you're doing.

Hi, Staying in your present condition will not benefit you or your family. The best thing you can do is to put all your cards on the table and get help for that condition. Don't go down without a fight. You can do it. Peace - Dennis

Originally Posted by rob2244

I think that I have always had an anxiety dissorder. I'm 39 years old with a wife and two daughters. Over the last 6 months my anxiety has gotten really bad. It got worse due to work stress. It got to the point that it was so bad at work that I finally broke and quit my job that I have been at for almost 17 years. I'm really scared and so anxious since that my legs feel either numb or cold and my head is pounding like my heart is inside of my brain. I have never told anyone about my anxiety because I was ashamed of it. My father had some form of mental illness which I believe to be close to if not the same thing that I have and he was taking 5 Thorzine a day. Of course i'm assuming this as I have not told a doctor or anyone else for that matter. I'm really scared now and don't know what to do. I love my family and I don't want any of this put on them at all. I'm to the point to where I don't know what to do. I just know that I can't keep going like this as I feel like my heart is going to explode. These feelings and also depression, but the anxiety is worse. Now i'm to he point that I don't see any coming away from this. If I go to the doctor then my family will be ashamed of me as I already am. I thought that maybe telling someone this might make me feel a little better, but I don't think so. I don't know what to do.........Rob

How are you doing, rob?

[lynn P.]

HI Rob,
having a mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of - it's a sickness like any other sickness. I'm sure your family senses something and they would rather have you be honest with them. Anxiety is a very treatable condition and responds well to medication and behavioral therapy. It's not a sign of weakness so don't feel bad. Please tell your doctor how you're feeling, so you can start feeling better. Best of luck.

[amante]

Rob,
I hope you can find a good anxiety T that can help you professionally, just like you would go to a dr. if you broke your arm. take care of yourself, it's no way to live with anxiety and not seek medical help from it. Don't be scared, just GO>>>

[rob2244]

hello everyone, I finally broke down and told my family about my problem. When I say I broke down I mean I broke down. I'm a grown man and I lost it. Later that night I got so bad I thought that I was having a heart attack. I had my wife take me to the ER as I felt like I was not going to make.The weird thing is that all of my vitals were OK. I have an appointment in a month to see the doctor to see if I can get help. I don't know how much help that I will get as I have no insurance now and no job. Hopefully they can put me on some meds to help as for right now i'm not coping very well. I don't think my family completely understands that my anxiety starts as soon as I wake and just gets worse throughout the day. I'm a basket case all I can seem to do is tell everyone that i'll be OK. This overwhelming fera is almost crippling me and I need to get back to work. It seems like everything is triggering me. Does this make any sense?

Yep, it makes sense. What does not make sense is that you need help NOW! Please call your doctor to find out if he can see you. If not, ask the doctor to see if someone else is available. Make sure you ask to be called in if someone cancels.

Good luck.

[rob2244]

hi Byzantine, after I reluctantly talked to my family about my problems, they were understanding. We set up the appt to see the doctor through social services since I don't have insurance anymore. I worked at the same job for 17 years of which the last two were in management. I think for a long time that I was just running on autopilot. My defense mechanism was to not absorb anything and just keep going. For about the last six months the job really started to get to me. Still denying that I had problems at this point and working 14 to 15 hours a day I finally broke and quit. Now, looking back I realize that I should have sought professional help but I didn't give in to the fact that I was having problems other than normal stress. I had good medical benefits through my work but denied that I had issues and just let the job get to me more and more. Now, i'll have to wait to see the doctor. I hope I can just get back on track as i'm getting ready to start another job and i'm not in a good place right now. I don't know why I waited so long to acknowledge that I have problems. Also, I don't think my family understands the gravity of my situation. I just want to see some good in the world again. Actually, I already see some since finding this site and seeing how there are good people trying to help others. This gives me some hope. Thanks for the advice, but i'll have to wait a while to see the doctor then hopefully I can get headed in the right direction. ........Rob

Thanks for the post. Perhaps you still might benefit by calling social services to tell them you are available if there is a cancellation.

Good luck.

[rob2244]

I'll get in touch with them to see if this is possible........Rob

[Stranger2]

I relate to how you are feeling.. I have bad anxiety..I'm on meds three times a day..I can also understand about quiting your job.. I was in management for ten years and everything was piling up on me including family trouble at home.. I had a nervous breakdown and lost everything..I've been on SSI for years and see my pdoc every three months for my meds and have been in therapy for five years... Anxiety is probably only part of what your going thru...You probably suffer from depression.. They go hand in hand with each other.. Please get some help..

[rob2244]

thanks for everyone's replies. Even thoughI I have talked to my family, I don't think they understand the extent of my situation. I'm also am not comminicating very well for fear of putting more on them than I already have. I've been so anxious for so long that I can't remember a day when I wasn't. I wake up with panic attacks. I wake up all the time thinking i'm going to be late. Actually I can't remember the last time that the alarm actually went off before I turned it off myself. I need to get some real sleep. Not that I don't sleep, I just don't rest......Rob

[Hippie]

Hang in there Rob. Keep letting your family know how you're feeling as it's important they know.
Not having a good sleep can cause all kinds of anxiety.
I'm hoping you can get into see a doc soon.
How are you doing now?

[rob2244]

It's been rough today, but i'm still here. I'm gonna anchor here for a while if nobody minds. Anybody ever feel like you just want to go some place warm and sleep for about a week?