Panic attacks are pretend!!!!

Did you know that panic attacks do not exist? I just listened to a 15 minute screaming seminar given by my sister on that fact. AND because I have panic attacks I am, according to her, "The world's biggest a-- h---,
a f------ crazy person, self-centered roach, the biggest piece of s---". It went on. She wanted me to drive up the 200 miles to see our aging father today. I told her I'd need someone to drive me as that's when I get attacks.
I have stayed away from the place I grew up in because of abuse, the belt, back of a hairbrush, what'sever handy for "the brat". I use to hide outside from the family. Now I live far enough away so they can't hurt me But she did,today.
Now that my father is sick I am suppose to go up there and stay. I can't. It's killing me. My sister says if my father gets so ill that he shoots himself, it will be my fault. They are a crazy bunch but I'm the one seeing a counselor.
Do you see why I moved away?
Got an emergency appt with my counselor. She said I should have hung up on my sister. I gave my sister power over me.
Does this crap ever stop??
I cried so long. It was like being a little kid again. Just as if I were there,
Thank God for my T and thank God I have this place to rant. I'm sorry I just feel like the belt hit me in the head even though it can't reach me.
Yours Truly
The Brat

Feel free to rant. I hate it when people are that way. I am glad your counselor is there for you. Your sister needs to understand the panic attacks are very, very real. A person does not choose to have them. I know you are like me, if we had a choice, we wouldn't have them. I stay far away from my family who abused me when I was growing up. My grandmother actually told me if I didn't think about it, it wouldn't bother me. Sorry grandma, your son abused me and it has affected me for life. Do what is best for you and ignore your sister.

((((((Hippie))))))))

I agree, ignore your sister. Was your father your abuser? If so, I personally don't see any reason on earth to go visit him and you shouldn't feel obligated just because she's screaming at you...maybe you should ups HER your bear?

Your sister is ignorant (and perhaps uncaring). You cannot MAKE her understand. I would suggest limiting contact with her if she continues to be negative.

((( Hippie )))

I am grateful for the 2,000 miles between myself and my family as well...

You are blessed to have a T who supports you, and we are blessed to have you here.

(((((Hippie)))))

Your sister said mean, horrible things about you, but YOU KNOW THEY AREN'T TRUE!!!

Distance is the most wonderful thing. I live 9 hours from an family. I don't talk to my family at all. I have even changed my phone number. It was painful to completely let go, and I still miss them sometimes - but I don't regret letting them go.

Send the Bears to visit instead. Don't let them destroy you - because you are a beautiful, caring person who deserves to be treated so much better.

In tears but happy ones from what ppeople here say cause i haven't been told I'm a good person by them and to see you all say that is heartwarming but can't get dressed today and want to curl up and sleep now

Sending you a few hugs Hippie! Sleep if you have to, but know that we love you!

I am so very sorry that you all have gone through this with your families. I am so lucky to have the support of my family. Although they are far from perfect, that is fine with me as long as it's ok for me not to be perfect either. I can't imaging what I would do if I couldn't call them up and talk to them. You are all very wonderful people and panic attacks are so very real!! I HATE when people are ignorant of the validity of our disorders and question our illnesses. Those people aren't worth your time. Family or not. Sometimes even family members can destruct our lives. You have a real family here and we know that you are a great person despite the way you were treated growing up. Hugs out...

Hippie--You take care of you! Poison families are best kept far away.

Even phone calls, e-mails should be limited.....taking care of you and your
life is of the utmost importance; especially given the treatment you were given as a child.

Words can hurt just as physical abuse can hurt. I'd change my phone number, and e-mail--keep your sister away. You sound too vulnerable.theo

(((((((hippie)))))))

I hear you

hugs from me. lots and lots of them

Why do I let this stuff hurt and it does hurt so much and I'm an adult so I should deal with it but its like being a child again and I get scared and right now I',m alone and just scared.

[sits down with Hippie] you aren't alone. I'll sit with you. I'm sorry that you are hurting.

(((Hippie))) - so sorry you had to hear her mean and spiteful words -shame on her. If your father shoots himself, that'll be his choice, not your fault - what a hateful thing to say. If you talked to her again and the moment she starts - hang up or walk away. Don't believe one word she said - she an unsympathetic bully.

Hippie I'm so sorry to hear your sister was so spiteful to you. It shows a flaw in HER, not you. The things she said about panic attacks, we know aren't true, so please try not to be so upset about it. She must have known what to say to upset you, and the fact she would want to intentionally upset another human being (her own sister!!) says something about her... maybe that's the way she was affected by the abuse, or being around the abuse? Maybe she's not learnt properly how to be caring and understanding. It's a shame but it's not your fault and you don't have to listen to her nasty words.

I do hope you're feeling better. Your sister is nobody to tell you what to do. He is your dad the same as he's her dad, and you get to decide how much contact you want with him. She can tell you she'd like you to see him, but that's all. It's your decision and if you don't want to see him then that's your choice -- you know what's best for you.

Oh and being an adult doesn't mean you have to be able to deal with hurtful things, anybody would be upset, you're not acting like a child at all. I hope you have people around you who can support you. And if not we're all here anyway.

*hugs*

Sounds like that's your sister's way of showing symptoms -- which, since they're her symptoms, she'd naturally consider classier than yours.

I'm not much of a Freudian myself, but this one's just too hard to resist. She's the one thinking he's might shoot himself (no wishing there, nosiree!) but if he does, it'll be your fault? Projection -- "I don't want him dead, you do!"

I think your counselor had the right idea.

Hold your head up, Hippie, and know you are loved.

took a nap after logging off and still sleepy probably the xanax I took. You are all so kind to me, my true friends.
I hadn't thought the Freudian thing of turn my sisters words around and maybe that's what she's thinking. I just shake and shake but reread stuff here so i can feel something besides this sadness which is bad.
I think there's evil in the world and that's harsh but I think it.

Holy cow,is your sister related to mine? Maybe? I am guessing, is your sister OLDER than you? I would bet she is.I am the youngest and my 2 older sisters,esp the one in the middle have always manipulated and guilted me over family stuff. Your sister is really mean and insensitive. My one sister use to call me once in awhile and I would cry for 3 days she was so mean to me and all the smart alec inuendos.Finally after 40 yrs of her crap I SNAPPED and WENT OFF on her last year when she said something rude to me. My dog had just had emergency surgery that day and almost died so my nerves were already fried. It was priceless the look on her face. Now we sorta get along.She knows I won't be her doormat any more.She doesn't call me very much anymore ( I have caller ID ) - if you do just don't pick up if you see it is her.That is what I had to start doing. Then I would email her a response to her voice mail. I am sure that ticked her off, but if I get on the phone with her I end up crying and hysterical for a week.Don't let your sister have that CONTROL over you.I suffer from PANIC attacks and I KNOW how REAL they are.......your sister is another example of the collective collossal ignorance in society about depression,panic attacks and all the other mental health problems....well take care and good luck with the family stuff....esp the sister...

Dear Hippie,

Just saw this thread. Hope you are feeling a bit better. Of course panic attacks are real. No wonder you get them. It sounds like your sister has learned the art of (guilt) manipulation well from her father.

Follow the advice of your counsellor and hang up on her.... Or change your phone number. You have done your life a huge favour by moving away from them. Unfortunately we cant pick our families but we can choose our friends.
Friends who are safe, positive, and fun.

Take real good care of yourself...

Thank god we have this on good authority! And she got her medical license from....

Hippie, panic attacks are very real! Ive experienced them myself. Im glad you are reaching out. It helps to know you are not alone. Many people think that if they themselves cannot see something or feel it, it does not exist. Such ignorance!! Has your sister even taken the time to research panic attacks and how it affects a person? Definitely limit your contact with her if she has not or is unwilling to do so. Be well.

I have the support of all you at PC and that gives me hope. I am just going to hang up the next time I hear her voice. Well, first I'm going to say "I WON'T take your abuse" and then I'll hang up. I have to do this. I have talked to my T. It's not being rude. I see that now. It's also not being a doormat to hang up. It's an old old pattern, like T says. I CAN break it.n I WILL stop it.