[Miss Laura]

Ok... Have been off work on holiday for 2 weeks and I have had to take the week before my holiday started due to my Manager saying I was "unstable" which I wasn't we had an argument.

Anyways, I have had 3 weeks to deal with all these issues and remain "sane" but I am having major panic attacks and anxiety issues.

Sickness
Diahorrea
Sweaty hands
Stomach turns and knots
Thinking I am no good and infact my Manager is right I am "unstable"
Not wanting to go back to work on Monday

I took a major panic attack in the City Centre the other day where I had sever diahorrea which luckily I managed to the toilet- Sorry I know this is a lovely description.

I am worried about work and about what my Managers are gonna say and do when I do go in on Monday morning. I hate unpredictability I really do and I hate the fact that I have no control over this situation at work

I was talking to my Mum and I can pin point being like this CONSTANTLY through out my Childhood.

Even writing this is making me ill with worry.

What can I do?

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Ok... Have been off work on holiday for 2 weeks and I have had to take the week before my holiday started due to my Manager saying I was "unstable" which I wasn't we had an argument. Anyways, I have had 3 weeks to deal with all these issues and remain "sane" but I am having major panic attacks and anxiety issues. Sickness; Diahorrea; Sweaty hands; Stomach turns and knots; Thinking I am no good and infact my Manager is right I am "unstable"; Not wanting to go back to work on Monday. I took a major panic attack in the City Centre the other day where I had sever diahorrea which luckily I managed to the toilet- Sorry I know this is a lovely description. I am worried about work and about what my Managers are gonna say and do when I do go in on Monday morning. I hate unpredictability I really do and I hate the fact that I have no control over this situation at work. I was talking to my Mum and I can pin point being like this CONSTANTLY through out my Childhood. Even writing this is making me ill with worry. What can I do?

Hon, are you on any meds now? Anything to take the edge off the anxiety? If you're not, and if you don't have access to such, have you seriously tried meditation? Focussing and calming yourself by concentrating on an image like a candle? There are a number of techniques like meditation used by people all over the world to get themselves under control. Do you have a T? Can you talk to him/her about it? It's now Saturday, probably around 9 in the evening, your time. You have plenty of time to stabilize yourself before you have to get up and go to work on Monday. If indeed you have to. Because from what I read (right now) in your Scots papers your area is just a total mess with the weather and all. As far as concerns your manager's comments, the man (woman?) is a jerk. You can be as stable as you choose to be. You can calm yourself down if you try. Search for "meditation" in the Psych Central search box at the top of the page. Read the hits. Follow the advice. I'm no T or pdoc. I'm just another patient. But I've been in your situation and then finally been able to get myself out of it. You can too. It's just not hard. It's not that big a deal. Try, Laura. Just try. You'll be amazed at the difference it will make. Take good care!

[Miss Laura]

Hey Ygrec,

I am on 250mg Depakote twice a day. That's it. I am due to see my GP on Thursday and my Psych on 29th Dec.

I really am finding it hard to focus on the positivies its all the negatives

My Manager is a woman and she is a jerk... I want to swear but I won't lol

Ye my area isn't too bad for snow but we are due some more sever weather tomorrow and Monday. Wehad thundersnow today too and major hailstones.

I have Kalms but I dont know if I can take them along with Depakote need to check with my GP on Thursday. I don't see a T or anyone just GP and Psych every month or so.

I just really seem to panic constantly now and its causing a wee bit of a havoc for me to be able to confront confrontation. Apart from that I am VERY emotional lately too and will cry at the least little thing

[kikki27]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Ok... Have been off work on holiday for 2 weeks and I have had to take the week before my holiday started due to my Manager saying I was "unstable" which I wasn't we had an argument.

Anyways, I have had 3 weeks to deal with all these issues and remain "sane" but I am having major panic attacks and anxiety issues.

Sickness
Diahorrea
Sweaty hands
Stomach turns and knots
Thinking I am no good and infact my Manager is right I am "unstable"
Not wanting to go back to work on Monday

I took a major panic attack in the City Centre the other day where I had sever diahorrea which luckily I managed to the toilet- Sorry I know this is a lovely description.

I am worried about work and about what my Managers are gonna say and do when I do go in on Monday morning. I hate unpredictability I really do and I hate the fact that I have no control over this situation at work

I was talking to my Mum and I can pin point being like this CONSTANTLY through out my Childhood.

Even writing this is making me ill with worry.

What can I do?

My anxiety starting to get severe also panic all the time and worry about what I got to do the next day .big huggs Just go in there on Monday with a smile on your face and ready to work.

[sundog]

(((((((Laura))))))) I can't add anything to Ygrec's great suggestions. But just wanted to stop by with a big hug for you and to wish you good luck on Monday. I think it will be good to get this out of the way. Often the waiting is the worst part.

[Miss Laura]

Ye I think cause I have had 3 weeks off its now like "oops" (polite phrase)

I just can't see a way out of the crap in work. I know they are gonna muck with my head.

Just dont wanna go back EVER!!

[Mustkeepjob32]

I can relate to being panicky about work. It is such a horrible feeling. I just say that if it is so bad you are having those horrible physical symptoms continually, you have to talk to someone and/or get your meds changed. You can't go on forever like that and it isn't fair to you.

Z

[Miss Laura]

I know, gonna talk with GP on Thursday. My folks are trying to be supportive. But my Mum says I really need to get a grip of myself. She said its harsh but I have to. That made me worse. I am goin through a phase of everyone is picking on me. I am getting paranoid slightly.
I am thinking of taking KALMs before work tomorrow.

We are in a major snow storm at the moment how the weather has changed from yesterday. So wil be panicing bout being late too

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I know, gonna talk with GP on Thursday. My folks are trying to be supportive. But my Mum says I really need to get a grip of myself. She said its harsh but I have to. That made me worse. I am goin through a phase of everyone is picking on me. I am getting paranoid slightly. I am thinking of taking KALMs before work tomorrow.
We are in a major snow storm at the moment how the weather has changed from yesterday. So wil be panicing bout being late too

Laura,

What's the real downside to calling in tomorrow and telling them that you can't get to work because of the weather? From five thousand miles away it seems like thousands of people in your area will be doing that on Monday. Is that something you could get away with or not? Could you use the extra time to calm yourself down? Do you have any kind of home routine that you use to calm down? I suggested meditation but perhaps you have found other things that work for you.

Your boss isn't some superbeing. She's just a person like you. You don't HAVE to let her mess with your head just because she's in an authority position! Easy, easy, easy! Have you found out whether HER job is on the line? With all the news of redundancies and cuts and whatever over there in the UK, maybe her nastiness is fueled by her own insecurity. Do you think SHE's on HER way out? If that's a concern of hers, there are an awful lot of things you could say to her, supportive things, that might change her view of you. Of course, I have no real idea of your position, so I'm not trying to dictate to you, just make wild suggestions that may or may not be appropriate.

But after all is said and done, or, I should say, all is suffered and done, I do, strongly, wish you the happiest possible Christmas, and a PREPOSTEROUSLY prosperous New Year, to you and all of yours! YOU WILL SURVIVE AND PROSPER! Take care!

[Miss Laura]

Hey Ygerc,

I live about nearly 1 hour bus ride from work... So if the buses are off tomorrow I will have to walk to work which will take me about 1-2 hours. I am not on the rota to work with anyone as my Manager has taken me off my rota... without telling me. I am raging.... why am I in at 8am if I have no service user to look after!!!

I am gonna take KALMS before I go to work and take my Ipod with me to calm my head I think

Due to my sleep schedule I dont have a regular bedtime as I am usually (hyper/manic/buzzing) etc. I do try but end up buzzing so I get up

I loooked at meditation.... I am gonna give it a go... I just want a quick fix which I know is unrealistic

No we are safe... god knows how my job and infact her job is safe we are £30,000 OVER in budget... that's the funny thing.... we are £30,000 over budget but I am sitting in the office doing nothing tomorrow and again on 2nd Jan which is why I am refusing to work 2nd Jan well 1 of the reasons

Thank you very much Ygerc23, Merry Christmas to you too and have a super 2011

[Miss Laura]

Slightly anxious but nothing major. Travelling by bus so the snow isnt too bad. Was up half the nite. Got bout 3 hours sleep so quite tired. I think until I am in work I wont feel it. Normally the butterflies start wen I get off the bus. Fingers crossed it is all gonna go ok

[Miss Laura]

OK had meeting today....

I disclosed I have BP which I didn't want to do, but my Area Manager told me she can not help me nor put measurements in place if I do not tell her the truth.

I told her. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. She was nice about it all and said she had thought this was a diagnosis for months as I am showing the same signs as 2 of her friends who have BP. She asked about anxiety levels and said to me I was really paranoid on teh phone to her a few weeks ago so she has been gathering info regarding how we can manage me in work. She said she wants to keep me in work not have me off sick again.

Have I done the right thing?

I had mini panic attacks before I got to the meeting and I am worried about mroe panic attacks to come

[sundog]

Hi ((((((Laura)))))) Well done for getting to the meeting and making it through. I think it's a good thing you were honest about your diagnosis because it sounds as though your Area Manager had already come to the same conclusion. Plus it's really good that she told you she wants to keep you working. I think that's very positive. What is the next step? Are you going back to work now? You're doing a great job of hanging in there! I really hope things start to get easier

[Miss Laura]

Hey Sundog,

Thank you!!

I have to meet with my Area Manager on Tuesday 4th January. This meeting is to get 2 risk assessments- 1 for when I am manic and 1 for when I am depressed.

I am still worried about her known and what this means for me

She said we are both to bring to the table things that will help me but I don't know where to start. Will think about it when I go to work tonight.

I started back at work yesterday morning. Back tonight and tomorrow night then off until 26th Dec.

I am becoming more and more panic'ey as the hours go on. I am worried at the mo have the twisting stomach. Just want it to ease away so I can enjoy this week.... IT'S CHRISTMAS but it doesn't feel like it

[BubbasFriend]

Anxiety at work is very difficult. I hope things work out for you. It did take some time for things to get better for me.

[Miss Laura]

I saw my GP today and she told me to tell Psych everything when I see him on Wednesday 29th Dec. As my panic attacks are becoming more frequent.

So fingers crossed. GP thinks med hasn't worked at all... which I agree!!

[sundog]

Hi (((((((Laura))))))) I'm really glad you have an appointment coming up with your psychiatrist. I know it sucks having to change meds, but if the current one isn't working then it's definitely well worth trying something else. I hope the pdoc can get you started on something more effective right away