[manwithhat]

hello everyboyd

I don't know where to post this but I am very scared. I just had a talk with my dad about how i was worried i was a sociopath and how we all get crazy, crazy, almost evil thoughts.
Sometimes I feel evil, like an evil person, a bad seed, evil for the rest of my life, but maybe its stress, anxiety, or cannabis intoxication.

I have a lot of trouble talking about my feelings, it almost feels theres people in my head telling me not to tell anyone how I feel. But I guess i'm not schizophrenic, i remember i used to hope I was BECAUSE that would provvide an explanation.

I spent the last couple days saying to myself "hope I'm not an evil person, I just DONT want to harm anyone. "

I do feel almost psychotic sometimes, would anyone know the symptoms? I do feel very detached, and I SUCK at social things, to the point where I almost feel like an alien sometimes. I almost feel like I can't understand people formulaicly (sorry, bad spelling). But like I'm DESTINED to never understand people,

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I'd like to get help just TO STAY ON THE SAFE SIDE

[OrangeMoira]

Hi, manwithhat. Welcome to PC. Glad you're here.

Along with this forum, you might try the OCD forum or the DID forum if you are having trouble with scary thoughts and feeling detached from people. I'm no expert at all, but I have seen posts about those things in those parts of the site.

I know that a lot of people get obsessive thoughts about doing bad things or being bad. If you are having thoughts like that, it doesn't mean that you're bad. Maybe your brain is just playing things for you to watch and it has no meaning at all. Or maybe the thoughts are triggered by something that happens or a feeling that you have? Is there a pattern to when the thoughts happen, who they are about, or what happens in them?

It must really be awful to have those thoughts when the other half of you is fighting it. It's a good sign if you are fighting it, though! You're not evil or destined to be apart from people, but when you're having so much trouble right now I can see why you feel that way.

Getting help is a great idea. Talking to your dad was a good move, too. I'm glad he was able to talk to you about it. Did you ask him about seeing someone just to get someone else's opinion?

Post back and let us know what happens! Take care.

[sundog]

Hi manwithhat! Welcome! It's great you've decided you want to get help. Only a mental health professional can give you a diagnosis. I hope you're able to make an appointment soon so that you can get started on some treatment. In the meantime, I know you'll find support here

[Soul Quake]

Psychotic people don't recognize that they're psychotic. They view their behavior as perfectly normal.

Lay off the cannabis if you're feeling anxious and paranoid. Surely you know that marijuana just exacerbates those feelings.

[manwithhat]

is it possible that my mind is messing with me so much that its making these thoughts seem VERY real? like my mind is subconsciously telling me I'm an evil person or something....
i'm 22 and very excited about life, despite being very bad at school. I don't want to be a sociopath,

[manwithhat]

I remember watching "American Psycho" and thinking I could relate to Patrick Bateman

[Soul Quake]

Maybe you need a distraction from such thinking. What do you do when these thoughts arise?

[sundog]

Hi again, manwithhat. It really sounds like you would benefit from seeking a professional diagnosis. I hope this is something you can set in motion very soon. Let us know how you get on!

[manwithhat]

I'm just terrified. And I can't get on with people, like I'm an alien or something

[LovesHorses]

Hi. What I tell myself everyday when I wake up. I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person who sometime does bad things. It might sound silly to think about things like this but anytime I think I'm feeling out of control or "evil thoughts" are going through my head. I step back and think, " I am not am evil person because I get these thoughts. I am not crazy. This isn't me. I am a good person thinking bad things." instead of labeling yourself in a negative way, try taking your mind off of it all, if you can. If not, then go see a psychiatrist. They are there to help you feel better and get through this

[manwithhat]

I don't support my evil thoughts this really hurts my friend said maybe I subconsciously give myself the thoughts as a way of socially sabotaging myself. BUT IF THATS TRUE WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?!?!? COULD IT REALLY BE AFFECTING ME SUBCONSCIOUSLY TO THE EXTENT WHERE I CANT TELL?!?!?!

sometimes i do feel delusional but I feel like something is FORCING a mask upon me, like it prevents me from telling others how I REALLY feel.

I AM CAPABLE OF EMPATHY!!! OTHERWISE THIS WOULDNT HURT ME!!!!

I JUST WANT TO BE OKAY

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP!! I WANT TO BE OKAY