[greenfairy]

my husband works nights. every night around this time i start getting anxious, and i feel like something bad is going to happen. he leaves for work around 2 am and usually i cant falls asleep. even if i do, the moment i hear the door close i'm wide awake and i have to check the entire apartment to make sure theres no one hiding anywhere. even after i've checked i'm always afraid i wasnt thorough enough so i have to ckeck again. then i spend the entire night staring at the door and the stairs worrying someone is going to sneak down or in the moment i close my eyes. i've talked to him about this before, but he cant change his hours and so i'm stuck in this situation. part of the problem is that i live in a fairly bad area and i dont feel safe. i dont know what to do. i feel this sense that something is going to happen to me even though the doors are locked and he hasnt even left yet. dont know if anyone has advice. just venting cause i feel a panic attack coming on and i'm scared.

[Hopefull]

Sorry to hear about your fear. Living in a bad area can definately add to one's anxieties.
I wish I could give you some advice. However, I am at a loss of words because fear is something that gets to me.

[OnEdge]

When my marriage ended, I was so fearful of the nights and being alone. What helped me was the thought that my little home (especially my bedroom) was my sanctuary. I visualized that it was my safe place and no one could ruin my sanctuary in any way. My bed was my safe cocoon and I was serene and safe there. I still feel that way about my room - especially since I painted it green. Keep a little night light on. I bought a cheap little lava lamp that has silver sparkles in it and I turn it on and it makes pretty shapes in the dark. Sounds silly but it works for me.

Keep your phone by your bed just for a little bit of assurance and keep telling yourself that you are safe. Sleep well.

[lostone]

Sorry about the way you are feeling,

Hope it gets easier SOON.. Thinking of you..

[PetulantWolf]

i was in a sililar situation and I got a dog. it helped. evenif its not abig one..they bark and scare people away. Andtheyhear better than us...its conforting..

[maze4200]

ive had this as well..now im movig away from it but i find my self waiting for anxiety to hit...even if it dosent..i just waid ...trying to get past this feeling......

[greenfairy]

so frustrated right now i cant stop crying. am having the mother of all panic attacks and i feel so sick to my stomach.. all started when my two year old woke up from a short nap screaming bloody hell and so i panicked thinking something was seriously wrong. took his temp, checked him all over and he just wouldnt stop crying (sure all my poking and prodding made it worse but i thought something was seriously wrong). called my mom in hysterics who suggested he probably had a nightmare. now hes sitting all calm and quiet watching thomas the tank engine and my heart is racing like mad. why am is such an infernal screw up? husband leaving for work in a few hours and i hate being alone when i'm panicky cause i'll only panic more. and i'm just this big crying mess and hes sleeping without a care in the world. i hate that my fear just consumes my life!

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))))

What can YOU do right now that will help ease your inner pain - the emotional upset?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[greenfairy]

i dont know what to do. i keep pacing and counting and breathing and my husband woke up yelling because he needs to get sleep before he leaves for work and i'm like cant you see i'm falling apart right now? the fact that he doesnt care makes me feel so much more alone. hes sick of this and i'm sick of this and i wish it would just stop happening to me.

[Rhapsody]

I feel for YOU - and I totally know how you are feeling.... hang in there and keep trying to explain it to your husband - he will catch on one day or year.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((((( HUGS )))))))

[jmo531]

Greenfairy,

I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband use to work the night shift. He wouldnt get home until about 2:30 - 3:00 am and I had to be up by 5:15 am to get ready for work. Needless to say, it didnt make for a pleasant situation.

Anyway, like you, I had an overwelming fear that someone was going to break in and kill us (me and the kids). I would constantly look out the windows and check all the doors over and over and over again to the point where I was going crazy (no pun intended), seriously, it drove me over the edge. I would cry for hours and finally I would have to contact hubby and make him come home because I couldnt handle it.

Just know that you are going to be ok. We are here. You can post as often as needed and always know that you can PM me if you need too. Your not alone in feeling like this. I know its hard. You will make it through and you will be ok. I promise.

Huggles!!!

[greenfairy]

so apologies to all if this complaint seems to never end but i'm facing something i havent ever before. my husband is going out of town for the weekend and i feel like the end of the world has arrived. i think the only thing that keeps me from complete insanity when he goes to work (nightshift 6 days a week) is the knowledge that hes only a half an hour away. i do my best not to call and beg him to come home (i come here instead and vent and rant and type in full my complete breakdowns). this time, that option doesnt even exist. hes going to be a plane flight away and my idiotic brain has been at work all day conjuring every possible disastrous scenario. whats scaring me the most is that my two year old is very ill, and may need to be hospitalized, and i fear that without the voice of reason in our household i'm going to be rushing this kid to the er at the first sign of discomfort. trying to keep it together right now, just like every night, but i'm about to lose my head. i havent called 911 in a long time and i'm worried my fear will overpower my embarassment and i'm going to have the police, paramedics or both in and out of here all weekend because of my stupid defective thinking. dont know if anyone else has had to deal with this. i'm seriously considering taking my boys and staying with an old friend, but my husband hates the guy and if he gets wind of that it i will be in very deep *&^%. what to do? help!!!!

[jmo531]

How about having someone come and stay with you, perhaps a family member or a friend. I understand your fear

Give yourself some credit here. Coming here, posting and venting is a good thing. A positive thing and you should be proud.

Have you discussed your fears with your husband? How about setting up a regualr call schedule or something like that while he is out of town?

Keep talking. We're listening.

[greenfairy]

thank you. as for my husband, he's kind of at the end of his rope with my panic attacks and . . . other issues. i used to call him at work all the time but he started getting annoyed about that too. i'm not sure theres much about me that doesnt annoy him these days. i'm not a very good judge of how people are thinking or feeling, but he's pretty outspoken about these things. the frustrated can you shut up already thing is not in my head. he says it all the time. and i'm equally frustrated because i take my meds and go to the pdoc and it would be nice to be. . . able to get througha night or two without suffering a breakdown in one form or another. thanks again for listening.