Total fear of showering

I know this is gross, but please don't hate me.

I haven't showered in nearly four weeks and it greatly distresses me even to write about it, because I am afraid that people will tell me I need to. I am leaving for inpatient stay soon and I am SO scared they will force me to shower.

I have like sponge bathed, washed my hair in the sink, etc, because I get very self conscious about it, but I can't shower. I am so scared that people will find out about it when I am inpatient. It started right after a therapy session. I no longer see the therapist anymore and it won't resolve itself.

I have always been fearful of showering to some extent. I would only do it twice a week or so. Then it went to once a week and then I just avoided it entirely. I really want to feel clean, the clean that sponge bathing doesn't give you, that fresh out of the shower feeling. But I can't do it. I am almost in tears right now just thinking about it.

Does this happen to anyone else???

Not exactly, I love taking a shower. However, I have had terrible panic attacks while I was in the shower. Sometimes I stumble out, other times I talk myself through until I'm done. That is nothing to hate you over. Your feelings are real and need attention. I would say talk to your T about it and get some ideas on how to help yourself. I play reasoning mind games with myself to get through stuff, that may or may not work for you. I'm sorry you are feeling bad. Peace to you LydiaB

((LydiaB)) - I'm sorry this is happening and making you upset. Can you identify what makes you afraid of taking a shower and what you could do that would make it more tolerable? For example some people are afraid of an intruder or maybe falling and being alone. If you can pinpoint what's the root then you can work on it. Can you take a bath? I hope it gets better.

What is the reason you're scared to take a shower. I think you need to first realize this, then rationalize your fear, weigh the ups and downs of whatever it is you're scared of and then think of the probability of it actually happening. For example. I used to have a small fear whenever there was a storm to take a shower. I thought the electric may go out and I wouldn't be able to see then slip and fall and hurt myself. But after weighing the chance of that actually happening, I conquered it. So I would do just that.

I don't know why I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of a lot of things and I don't know the reasoning behind it. It's not enclosed spaces. It's not falling. For as long as I can remember it's always been a fear, but I still forced myself to do it. I don't like being wet, it's sensory overload for me, but I'm willing to wash my hair in the sink so I don't think that's all of it.

It's the shower itself. But I don't know why. I get this "O I can do it" mode and then I start taking off my clothes before I turn on the shower and that's when I start being not okay. I am fine with changing my clothes though. It's just the reality that I actually AM getting a shower hits me and I leave the bathroom.

Right before this happened I had horrible arthritis like pain in my joints because of one of my meds, and I couldn't lift my feet over the tub walls. So I went a week without a shower, but then the pain went away and I still can't shower. It's like before I forced myself to do it, knowing I had to shower two times a week. No excuses. But then I fell into a trap that I suddenly realized I wouldn't die if I didn't shower twice a week, so why challenge the fear and then it got even more carried away, and here I am four weeks into not having a shower and not seeing one in my immediate future.

I wonder if you could desensitize yourself by running the shower while sponge-bathing?

You are taking care of your hygiene well in the meantime, and you could continue that way if you wanted to do that. It's okay

only way to combat your fear is to face it. I used to be afraid of cats as I was younger, but I was just forced myself to go around cats and pet them. It really worked, since my fear went away. Just know that having a shower is not going to hurt you, and that you are larger than it. Confront your fears, and they will go away, Good luck!

I find the longer that I avoid things, the harder it becomes to do them. So I force myself to just power through whatever is scaring me. It works but it is NOT easy.

I hope you can find out what caused this.

I know you want to work on it.

I used to hate baths, sometimes I still do.

I remember when I was badly depressed I did not feel like dealing with my body or being wet or even touching myself.

I hope you can find out and get thru it.

Phobias s*ck.

Feel for ya.

Billi