[Jenn1fer82]

Its just in my nature to care and to worry about the people in my life. Because of this, it has cause me tremendous turmoil and overwhelming stress. I'm in the process of finding answers to my health problems and everyone around have told me over and over again that I need to take better care of myself and not to worry about everyone else. What does that mean and how do you stop caring? I know I can't control the situation around me but how do you not react to it? This could be conflicts in the family or work. How do you not let your surroundings affect you and distract you from whats important?

I'm going through testing and seeing a different doctor almost every other day of the week I'm trying to do everything that I can to stay clam and relaxed. After 3 years my doctors are now having ideas that I may have seizures and anxiety is one of the symtoms. I'm going through intensive testing to finally find concrete answers to my situation. I'm just trying to do all that I can to take care of myself and its so easy to get lost and overwhelmed in everything else that surrounds me.

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

(( Jen )) welcome to PC..I do not have the answer for you if I did I would be half well and not on here but I wanted to send you a hug and wish you well with all you have on you.

[Myzen]

Hi Jennifer,

The people here will care about you and think about you. We all have a time when we deserve some help from others, and it looks like this is your time.

Stay with us.

Good thoughts, M

One thing that I have found is that how I react to present day situations is often linked to my childhood experiences. For example, if my husband is irritated and banging things around in the kitchen, it reminds me of my Dad (who did similarly). The fear kicks in because my Dad being angry was often a prelude to my Mum getting upset and threatening to leave home. So when my hubby does the irritation bit I react in fear - because as a child the fear motibvated me to intervene, and often redirect my Dad's anger onto me, or to comfort my Mum so she wouldn't leave. I'm working at reminding myself that the situation now is not the same as it was when I was a chld. It's really hard to do, though, because I still get all the initial anxiety reactions in my body. I just (sounds easy, huh?!) have to remind myself that these reactions do not reflect reality.

I'm still struggling with it though. Anyone's suggestions gratefully received for me too.

[wi_fighter]

Gosh, I don't know that I have a good answer.

If you have a therapist, you might work on setting boundaries. Small ones at first that you know you can stick to, and that won't overwhelm your family with a huge change all at once.

Welcome to PC, and good luck with finding some answers.

[Rhapsody]

Some times one just needs to learn to a be a little SELFISH..... do some thing for YOU for a change - any thing that gives you pure pleasure.
There will still be time to care for all those around you..... BTW - I too use to be just like you are now and I learned that I was trying to earn my way into every ones heart by always doing for them - I was trying to insure that I was loved & wanted.

I guess I stopped worrying about everything and everyone the day my only daughter died.... I learned then that some things just happen and we cannot control them - I also learned that some things are not worth worrying over.... so now I take care of what I must and leave the rest to take care of themselves.... and guess what? - it is usually fine without me. (smiles).

LoVe,
Rhapsody -