no peace

after so many nights lying awake in the dark crying i finally slept. . .and when at first i opened my eyes i thought maybe today would be a good day. why can i not find peace? panic and fear first thing in the morning. i feel like i have no control in my life. my choices mean nothing, life just happens and pushes me down and it doesnt matter what i want or try or think or feel i never seem to have control. or peace. and i wonder whats the point. why fight when life hands you what it does regardless of what you want. i cant make sense of anything. last night i came home from the place i hate the most and felt so paranoid and realized theres no escape from things past. i dont know anything anymore. if this is only the morning i wonder what the rest of the day will be. want to crawl under the covers and sleep but i dont have that choice. just wish i could have one day of peace.

Dear GreenFairy, ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( PEACE )))))))

YOU must first rid your body & mind of the feelings that now control your life.... or they will forever be your enemy and they will forever keep you a prisoner.

Check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/091...lance&n=283155

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

thanks rhapsody.
feel like a prisoner of my own skin. wish i could just crawl out. and people think its self-pity. no. not self-pity. disgust. i disgust myself. i think of everywhere i've been and everything i've done and all thats happened and i just feel sick. *&^%ed up. and damned. i feel completely damned.

Check out the book I mentioned above - it will help you to crawl out, I PROMISE!!

It helped me to crawl out.... and now I can walk.... and with confidence.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Greenfairy, I am giving your words back to you. What is past can't be changed. We can understand they are in the past and be the best person we are able. You are strong and can fight. fight to love yourself unconditionally.

((HUGS))