Does anyone else have a fear of psychiatric wards? I mean but I still have to go sometimes. But I spend the entire time in tears, freaking out. And it usually just extends my stay. Which makes me more upset. One time this went on for ninety days. I have one hospital who is aware of this and lets me out after 72 hours, no matter what. But they just got sent to court for letting people out too early because they had two suicides. So now it may extend my stay.

I don't know. Sometimes I find the only way I can survive is to make friends. But I hate making friends in psychiatric wards. But that's what they want to see. I hate making friends, because they never last. I never keep in contact with anyone. I can make friends. If I try. But sometimes it's just not the place or the time and psychiatric wards are not the place or the time. I am too distraught.

But if you don't socialize you get more deductions.

I hate those places. God I hate them.

Can you find other ways besides reaching out to hospitals? You are being harmed by them. They don't promote recovery in a majority of cases, unless you have an Axis 1 disorder that responses quit nicely to medication.

Personally, I am not a proponent for psychiatric hospitalization unless it has a clear purpose that promotes recovery. Hospitals are not meant to be used as places to seek refuge from life's difficulties. I am not saying you are doing this, but your posts make me wonder why you go there, especially when you claim they are causing harm. Ambivalence?

I think your recovery would benefit from staying away from those places. Anyway, you have a history of trauma so why keep getting hurt. Sorry, I am so direct but it is obvious to me.

What do you hope to get out of this admission?

I don't know Didgee. It's not really up to me sometimes. That's what I mean by "I still have to go". I haven't been in one since May. But I freak out way ahead of time and try to look for signs of impending hospitalizations, because I don't like them so much.

But the facts are is that my last hospitalization was not my choice. The hospitalization before that was not my choice. The one before that was against my wishes so was the one before that. I fight and manipulate, but my illness gets to the point where I just can't keep myself safe and people do what they have to do. And it's a little bit of over reacting also. Like this last time in May, my team leader wanted me kept longer, but both psychiatrists said I was fine to go. She threw a fit, told them she would file a complaint. It's usually her that's hospitalizing me. But I'm done with her. She's not on my case anymore. So maybe my new caseworkers will give me more of a choice.

I have DID, so she was always under the impression that I had no idea what was good for me, because I didn't know what my parts were capable of and she did.

Lydia,

I was blunt, because I don't want to you to get hurt by psychiatry.

Is your "team" actually treating the DID with psychotherapy or just offering admissions when your stress increases?

You are an adult. Even though you have DID, you are in control of your care. Tell your providers hospitalizations are harmful to you. Don't let them traumatize you.

Try to stay out of hospital.

Originally Posted by Didgee Eeyou

Lydia,

I was blunt, because I don't want to you to get hurt by psychiatry.

Is your "team" actually treating the DID with psychotherapy or just offering admissions when your stress increases?

You are an adult. Even though you have DID, you are in control of your care. Tell your providers hospitalizations are harmful to you. Don't let them traumatize you.

Try to stay out of hospital.

I totally agree with you. And if you read back through my posts there was a time where I was in out right refusal to go, but it made my life very difficult and incredibly stressful to fight my providers all the time. I am in the process of getting a therapist who works with DID clients. I have issues working with just trauma trauma therapists, because when I go to work on the trauma, my parts become suicidal, so I need someone who knows how to work with parts and calm parts. But that same team leader who likes to put me in hospitals is fighting every move I make. She'll yell at me and tell me I just need a trauma therapist and it's too hard to find a DID specialist. But just like you said. IT'S MY RECOVERY and I KNOW what's BEST for me.

Now I never have to physically see her again, but she has control of my case for a few weeks longer. So if I try to make a move towards getting a DID therapist, she'll have something to say about it. This is the same woman who wanted me to work with a caseworker as a therapist. She obviously does not value therapy work, nor does she listen about how much my therapy means to me.

[InfiniteSadness]

Can i ask why you get admitted? i think they help people who desperately need it or are out of control.