[MattMVS7]

The meaning of the word 'trapped' is when something is there for the rest of your life and you can't escape it. And since my body is always here and I can always feel my arms and legs and such, that feeling is always there for the rest of my life and I can't escape that which means I am forever trapped.

Being able to feel is an important sensation and poses no threat and is a completely normal part of life. But however, a thought can make this a threat even though it poses no threat on its own (which is the thought of forever being trapped due to the fact that when something is there for the rest of your life and you can't escape it, that means you are trapped regardless of what normal and positive meanings that thing has. In this case, regardless of me knowing that being able to feel is an important part of life and that I have been living my life so far being able to feel my arms and legs and such with no problems, this still means I am trapped. The only reason I was able to live a normal life with no problems being able to feel is because this thought I'm having wasn't there. And now that this thought is here, I feel that I will go insane from it).

As long as I believe that this is true, I will never get over this. And since it is true, I feel that I will never get over this. I feel that I will go insane from this and have to be shot up at the hospital and that I will forever live my life getting shot up at the hospital and that there will be no hope in ever getting over this or even getting better and that I will never be even able to cope with it due to the fact that since I will forever believe that what I'm feeling is true (which it is true), I will never get over or even be able to cope with this.

[Lamplighter]

(((((( Matt ))))))) Going to state the obvious, which is that what you are doing is circular thinking. Round and round and round and no way out (something with which I am very familiar, sad to say.) Somehow (the magic get out word, sorry) you need to break out of that circular way of thinking, even step right outside of it altogether - or it will continue rolling on and on with its own momentum and truth won't be the issue, survival will.

I'm sorry you're stuck in this kind of obsessive thinking, is there some way you can give yourself a respite from trying to solve this, as there really is no solution at least not in the circularity itself.

Hugs to you

LL

[spondiferous]

I agree with LL. But I totally hear you. All I am capable of lately is circular thinking. It seems like all I'm able to do anymore is use distraction techniques. I get out to pay bills, make appointments, etc, but that's it. No work or anything. Next week I start school, very part time (one course, three hours) and then in a few weeks I start training for a really cool volunteer position. But I question if I'll be able to handle it. Because everything makes me feel trapped. Especially schedules. And I have never been that way. Only in the last few years. It's excruciating. I just hope that by jumping in and doing it and not letting the panic take over and run my life anymore I can move it to the back burner.
I wish you the best. If it helps, you can PM me anytime you want if you're freaking out about stuff. I don't mind. I am not super active in all the forums, I kind of jump from forum to forum and mostly check out the newcomer's forum and the social and games forums (for distraction of course). So it's easiest to get ahold of me via PM. to you...

[MattMVS7]

Now I am going to post a better explanation of my thought here. If anyone can help me and talk me out of this, please do:

When the words “I am forever trapped and can't escape” are applied to anything, it will cause me panic. And since I am forever trapped inside my body and can't escape, this is causing me panic and I feel that I could go insane. Also, since I am forever trapped and can't escape the sense of touch in that I can always feel my arms and legs and such always there, just from knowing that I am forever trapped and can't escape is causing me panic.

It does not matter what positive meanings there are about being inside my body being able to feel (such as that it wouldn't make a difference if I were to actually escape and also that I have been living my entire life inside my body being able to feel with no problems). But the only reason I was able to live this way with no problems is because I never made the realization that I am, in fact, forever trapped and can't escape. And now that I've made this realization, I feel I could go insane from it.

Even though being inside my body being able to feel poses no threat whatsoever, the words “I am forever trapped and can't escape” being applied here makes it a threat anyway due to the fact that those words themselves pose a threat in that they mean a negative thing and cause panic regardless of what positive things there are about being inside my body being able to feel.

I don't think this is an obsession because if you were to actually trap someone where they are not allowed to escape (especially someone with claustrophobia), they would automatically panic. It does not matter if this person doesn't have an obsession with negative thinking and isn't obsessively thinking about his/her confinement, the panic just from knowing that he/she is trapped is an automatic response—not an obsession. This is the same for me, just from knowing that I really am trapped is automatically causing me panic on its own—this is not just simply a matter of obsession in that I am obsessing over this thought and that I can just get my mind off the panic by doing something. It does not matter what I do or what positive thoughts I think—the simple fact of the matter is that I really am trapped and there is no escape and knowing that is automatically causing me panic all on its own.

As long as I believe it's true that I am trapped and unless there is some way someone can talk me out of it and make me somehow view this thought as false, I feel that I will never get over this. I feel that I will go insane from this and have to be shot up at the hospital and that I will forever live my life getting shot up at the hospital and that there will be no hope in ever getting over this or even getting better and that I will never be even able to cope with it due to the fact that since I will forever believe that what I'm feeling is true (which it is true), I will never get over this or even be able to cope with this.

[Hoggles]

I think I understand what you're getting at. Sometimes I get a little worried when I realize that I can't change something, I just have to live on with it forever and ever. In some ways you are bound to one thing for life- even living itself. It scares me sometimes too. Maybe find some good friends, they can work wonders with you, and maybe not make you feel as if you are so trapped.

I hope everything goes well for you, best wishes.

[MattMVS7]

Originally Posted by Hoggles

I think I understand what you're getting at. Sometimes I get a little worried when I realize that I can't change something, I just have to live on with it forever and ever. In some ways you are bound to one thing for life- even living itself. It scares me sometimes too. Maybe find some good friends, they can work wonders with you, and maybe not make you feel as if you are so trapped.

I hope everything goes well for you, best wishes.

So that's it? In just a matter of seconds (the amount of time this thought came to me), my entire life of enjoyment is now gone and I am forever bound to panic and to be depressed by this thought? After all my years of suffering from previous thoughts and depression which went on all day everyday, I was finally on the brink of full recovery with no more negative thoughts or feelings in that I was finally over it--the day has finally come that I was over my panic and depression and had no more negative thoughts. But that day of freedom was only 1 single day before this new thought came to me. And now that this new thought has come to me, you are saying I am now forever bound to be depressed and to panic from it all day everyday of my entire life just like how I am now everyday? I was finally over my depression and panic and these negative thoughts and I could of finally lived a complete life of enjoyment.

My entire life of enjoyment has now been taken away in just mere seconds.

[Mustkeepjob32]

I think what the OP is saying is yes we are bound to live in our bodies for the rest of our life, but they definitely didn't say that you, Matt, are bound to be depressed and in panic for the rest of your life. You are letting negative thoughts make your miserable.
All the comments that you've made on this thread, have you said those same things to a psychologist/psychiatrist? What do they say?

[BigBen123]

Here's an image for you. Think of your anxiety as a cute & harmless little monkey sitting on your shoulder. This monkey is very frightened, and it keeps on whispering in your ear ("What if such-and-such happens"). Whenever I have a scary thought or idea ("What if I start panicking?" "What if..."), I follow a simple process: (1) I remind myself that's it's just 'Monkey Talk', and the Monkey is very scared and should never be trusted (sometimes I say "Monkey Talk" out loud, very quietly to myself, to remind myself of this!); (2) I identify the 'triggers' (Have I been isolating recently? Am I tired? Have I been taking stimulants recently, such as caffeine or alcohol? Have I eaten? Am I in an anxiety-creating environment? etc.); and (3) I, finally, I get "busy busy busy" and resolutely turn my attention elsewhere.

By externalising my anxiety, and seeing it for what it is (it's my subconscious fear speaking, nothing more), I find I can distance myself from it.

Sounds nuts perhaps, but it works.

[Jolisse]

Hi Matt,
May I ask if you've tried therapy? I also have similar thoughts that create terrible anxiety and depression. I started therapy about six months ago and learning to change the way I think. It takes time, but I do feel it's working for me.