[Joannof3]

I moved 3000 miles to be with (what I thought ,the love of my life) things arent working out and I have been here for 6 yrs in this on again off again relationship...here's my problem...I'm planning on going back home 3000 miles and scared to death..my anxiety is way up because for one.I'm leaving the man who I love with all my heart and soul,2 I have never traveled that far before other than when I came here ...I came here with him on plane ( my first flight ) and leaving by uhaul with two of my closest friends from home..they are flying here to drive me back...I love him but I cant stay here and go through this anymore ...I have panick attacks just thinking about going the distance and starting all over again ..has anyone ever gone through something like this? I know as I get closer to home I might feel better. but for now , the waiting and wondering is freaking me out ...please tell me it will be ok leaving him is going to make me so sad but I know theres no sense in trying anymore ..I have done all I can do ...he still comes around will I even be able to say goodbye ? I just dont know..sorry if Im confusing you ...please help

you've figured out that you can't be with him. that was a huge first step. now you are getting ready to move back to your home.....that is going to be a wrench for your emotions, but having your friends to help you will be great.

it's always hard when we realize we did something and it didn't work out......but the answer is getting out of it and you're doing that.........good luck, pat

[Boopers]

It sounds like you are doing the right thing.
You have the wisdom to know that it just won't work.
I think, once you get back from where you came, you will have alot of support and will be able to get your life back quickly.
With support from family and friends, you can do this.
Wishing you all the best,
Hugs,
Boopers

"He still comes around"

I don't think you've made a clean break from him and that might be an important thing for you to do, to feel. I suspect you aren't sure about leaving the relationship. That's understandable when it's been a long one and has been on/off. I agree that it's perfectly fine to realize something isn't for you and decide to do something else.

I think the overwhelming distance of your trip is, in your mind, a metaphor for the distance you have decided to place on this relationship and it is understandably unsettling, as new experiences can be.

It will be okay. You are doing what you want to do. Instead of thinking of the distance of your trip as one big stretch, you could break it up and think of smaller parts of the trip.

You have some very wonderful friends who are coming to help you with this! Can you picture it as friends having fun tooling along, seeing the sights that you missed travelling by plane? Have you planned some stops that would be interesting and fun? Got the camera ready? Make the most of the trip as a celebration of realizing what you want and the courage to do what you need to have what you want!!

Have a fun trip and let us know how it goes!



ECHOES

[UpsetinMN]

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Joannof3 said:
I moved 3000 miles to be with (what I thought ,the love of my life) things arent working out and I have been here for 6 yrs in this on again off again relationship...here's my problem...I'm planning on going back home 3000 miles and scared to death..my anxiety is way up because for one.I'm leaving the man who I love with all my heart and soul,2 I have never traveled that far before other than when I came here ...I came here with him on plane ( my first flight ) and leaving by uhaul with two of my closest friends from home..they are flying here to drive me back...I love him but I cant stay here and go through this anymore ...I have panick attacks just thinking about going the distance and starting all over again ..has anyone ever gone through something like this? I know as I get closer to home I might feel better. but for now , the waiting and wondering is freaking me out ...please tell me it will be ok leaving him is going to make me so sad but I know theres no sense in trying anymore ..I have done all I can do ...he still comes around will I even be able to say goodbye ? I just dont know..sorry if Im confusing you ...please help

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I did go through something like this. I moved to Utah from Wisconsin (1400 ish miles) and didn't know anyone. I made a home for myself there for a year and due to a mixed set of circumstances I couldn't support myself anymore and had to have my parents come get me and take me home with a UHaul. I felt like a complete failure and my panic disorder flared. But now I look back on it and see that things do happen for a reason and I'm really glad I left. It was stressful to go through (I made it stressful really, it didn't have to be) but now I see that things all work out....like the end up doing. YOU CAN DO IT!

i moved 1000 miles to a state where i knew no one.(after a devastating divorce) i stayed almost 10 years and one day decided that it was crazy to be that far from my daughters and grandchildren.........it was very difficult to handle everything but i did it and i will always be grateful that i got my butt back to my homeland..........good luck, pat

[Numbers]

I'm sure you'll make it.
You've got two good friends to help you, and all of us here as well.

[Bethsway]

Good luck to you...It is a scarey thing you are doing but if it is the best for you...it has to be done!! Glad your friends will be there for support along the way!!! Good luck to you!

[breemarie]

I understand your fears. I moved away from my home state also, not quite as far but far enough. I go back and forth with should I stay or should I go. Fear is one strong emotion. Your brave and I give you alot of credit for going back and starting over. Thank god you have friends willing to help you out, that is a good thing. I think you will be ok because you have support and will not be alone with this. I wish you good luck and a safe drive.