[muse]

I'm not sure if I can classify what I sometimes get as "panic attacks".... I am a very anxious person in general, but sometimes when things get very very stressful (or when I perceive them as being very stressful), I'll sort of... snap.

The reason I'm not sure if it's a panic attack is because I've read up on the symptoms, and mine seem to mild for that. Granted, they're never "mild" for me, but... well, if I may describe the worst of them:

Basically it'll build. Generally something outside of myself has to trigger it, and it's often a parent putting a ton of stress on me over something I should have done/should be doing (not that they have any clue of the effect it has). I'll start crying, getting freaked out, and it'll spiral downward from there.

My worst "attacks" have left me sobbing, sometimes screaming, curled up as tight as my body can make itself on the floor. The worst one was when I was alone in the house, wandering from room to room and desperately trying to, as best I can describe it, "escape" from the anxiety and fear... but it was sort of everywhere. ^.^ Not fun, obviously. By the time the "attack" has peaked my mind can feel totally detached from my body, and I'm emotionally and mentally numb.

I haven't experienced this in a month or two, thank goodness, so I'm not sure if I should even be asking, but... it'd be nice to know what's actually going on. Thank you all SO MUCH for your responses.

[Juliana]

Hi Muse, that sounds a lot like a panic attack to me. When I was a teenager, I would sometimes get so upset and cry so hard I'd get sick to my stomach and couldn't stop shaking. I know that feeling you described -- being emotionally exhausted and numb and feeling really detached from yourself when it's over.

When it happened to me, I didn't know it was a panic attack. I just thought I was "upset," but in hindsight I realize it was how my anxiety was manifesting itself. I was holding my emotions in so much and then sometimes everything would just build up and I'd have one of those sobbing, shaking, attacks. Fortunately, I outgrew it by the time I was about 17 and didn't get panic attacks again until I was 31 (different symptoms).

I wish I had learned some ways to cope with my anxiety and calm myself down when I was younger, though. You should talk to your parents about this or a school councillor or a doctor. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy could probably help you a whole lot. You're very wise to be asking about this. It can get much better and there's lot of help available. Sometimes, just talking about it -- like you just did -- can be extremely helpful.

[muse]

Wow... it's nice to know I haven't blown things way out of proportion. Thanks so much for the thoughtful response.

I've already been to a therapist once, but it was just for a preliminary evaluation and a trial run on Wellbutrin (for what she diagnosed as ADD). I never mentioned the panic attacks. Recently I've been struggling just to FINALLY admit that I have a few things I need to work out and get help on, and I've been trying to figure out whether or not I'm just giving myself excuses for my inability to deal with certain situations.

I think I might well be "outgrowing" the attacks myself (I'll be seventeen in September, not that it makes any real difference--everybody is unique!), but I still get close to them, so I have to ask--what kind of things did you do to calm yourself and deal with the anxiety? I've heard of CBT, but I'm really not sure how it works... is there anything I could be doing for myself without a therapist involved?

[Maven]

I agree, that sounds like a panic attack. When I've had them, I run screaming, begging, please make it stop. I cry, my heart beats fast, I feel like I'm dying and "doomed," like everything's crashing in on me, like the world is ending. Once it's over, I feel spent but still anxious, fearful and nervous, scared of it happening again.

On my last shrink visit, the resident I spoke with asked me to describe a panic attack, because a lot of people mistake anxiety or severe anxiety for panic attacks, and they're very different (although both are terrible). I showed him, very briefly, how I start to freak out, and he said it was enough, he believed me.

Not everyone screams, but I can't not scream during a full-on attack. I once told that to a psychiatrist, and he didn't believe me. He said I could, and it really p***ed me off, because I have tried not to scream, but I couldn't keep from doing it.

Since I'm going off my meds, I'm naturally worried about having panic attacks again--I've had severe anxiety and almost-panic attacks, but haven't had a full-on panic attack in years. I still believe I could, but haven't been in certain situations that are sure to cause them. And don't think I haven't had doubts from time to time, but I really want to try without the meds, and I have had problems with the meds, so I have reason not to stay on them. I realize that, if I go back on them, I'll have to build them up again. Yes, I'm scared, but I really wish people around me would support me.

I'm not trying to hijack this thread. I just wanted to let that out. Hope it's ok. But yes, I think what you had was a panic attack.

[muse]

Heh, you're not "hijacking" at all--it puts things in perspective to read about what others are going through. As for me, though it may not be much, I think it's incredibly brave to try and wean yourself off your meds--just remember to do it little by little by little. I hope you're 110% successful with that, Maven, so good luck!!

But your comment about "panic attacks vs. extreme anxiety" rings true to me in the sense that what you described as an attack isn't anywhere NEAR as bad as what I feel. Sure, they're horrible to me when I'm experiencing them, but my feelings lean more towards a blind, white-hot terror/overwhelming pain, not feeling doomed.

Can there be varying degrees of a panic attacks, or could I just be experiencing bursts of severe anxiety? I want to make sure I'm not mistaking one for the other.

Thanks much, both of you.

[Maven]

I think panic attacks can have varying degrees. I still think what you described sounds like a panic attack. Whether anxiety or panic, though, it's horrible, but the treatments are generally the same. There are exercises for calming yourself, and of course, medications you can try.

Thanks for the compliments and wish of good luck.

[Rio_]

Muse, that sounds a bit like what happens to me. I made a post about one of my experiences a while ago here . I was convinced it wasn't a panic attack, that I was just overreacting, but when I told my therapist about it he gave me a sheet with panic attack symptoms and asked me to tick all of them that I had...four or more was a panic attack, and I had seven!

I noticed you were asking for help without therapy - well, one of the things my therapist showed me how to do is diaphragmatic breathing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragmatic_breathing - there are some links from that site. It's been very useful, and not just for actual attacks either - it helped me relax a bit before my French speaking exam!

[muse]

Oh, hey... thank you, Rio, I hadn't thought of that. Interestingly, I'm already very familiar with diaphragmatic breathing--as a singer, I can't live without it! Still, I hadn't thought of it as a way to counter a panic attack, but as I think about it the way you breathe when you're afraid or panicky really does make the feelings worse. I'll try it next time I'm freaking out... but let's hope I never have to! ^.^

[Rio_]

No problem. That's good you know about it already...I hadn't realised it was used in singing, actually! According to my therapist, it's the hyperventilating that causes most, if not all, of the other symptoms, so if you can stop that then you should be able to stop the attack. I hope you don't have to try it either...but if you do have to, I hope it works!