Mode of operation

Hi, there.
I find that I operate in certain modes. My default mode is "don't feel, don't think". Each thought, each emotion (if there is one) is analyzed for a split second and promptly shoved into an ever-growing bottle.

The problem is each mode seems to have its own battery life, and this mode is running low. Anxiety mode is kicking in. The tingling sensation in limbs, rapid breathing, shaking hands, and racing thoughts isn't pleasant, but its slowly making itself know. I've been trying to hold on to "feel none, think none" mode, but its slipping.

Usually anxiety mode is followed by "let's open the bottle and analyse all thought and emotions in there" mode. That's hell to push away. It can be overwhelming.
Does anyone else feel this way? Do you operate on modes?

Hmm, I can relate to the don't feel, don't think mode. My mind is so flitty that I don't process what is going on in the now, so have horrible memory problems. I thought I had ADD but was tested and the doc thought it was more OCD/anxiety driven. I admit that yes, I suffer from anxiety quite a lot, but not to the point of having panic attacks, at least not with the symptoms that are typical and that you describe. Mostly, I just get frantic under pressure and can't concentrate, and become quite the *****! But what I am discovering about myself is that I have a real problem with intimacy, allowing myself to be present with others, and it is really dissatisfying. As for the bottle and opening it up and examining, yes, that happens, too. Much analysis, but never really any change. Wondering how it can ever be different...

I can relate to what you're saying about not being present with others. If an emotion does emerge, it's a split second of guilt and then it's gone. I mean, here's someone before me that's trying to convey something of importance to them and I can't connect. I once googled how to handle it. It was recommended to tell yourself to "be here now". I took it a step further. I tell myself to be "be here now. Listen to what she/he has to say."
Take a deep breath and tune in.
Sometimes,it works. Sometimes, it doesn't.
Other times, I deliberately remain tuned out.
Have you tried that?

About opening up the bottle, does it lead you to depression mode?