trigger nightmare........trigger

i had a dream aboutmy abuser last night. first time for ages. he was trying to touch me again and my mum was drunk and didn't stop him.

it was a very vivid dream and i was very distressed during and after. i had flashing lights when i woke up probably due to high bp/migraine.

i feel shaky and triggered and really crap. cant believe the dream i had, as i have'nt had one for ages.
his face was so menacing and he had no regrets or compassion, in the dream i was the age i am now and it really upset me.in my dream i was really screaming at abuser and completely lostitand no one came to help.

the only thing i can put it down to is the fact that i've been posting poems about him and getting stuff out of my head.

i just had to vent i'm sorry. dreams effect me quite badly and i have to go to my mums today for dinner, i'm dreading it cos i'm also meeting her new b/f. i just dont want to go.

my anxiety is through the roof again and i have nothing to take for it.

i just keep seeing his face.

jin

the fact that you have been posting poems about him has probably brought it to your mind. usually i'll dream about things that i havent thought about in a few days. i think it is just your mind holding on to something and letting it out, even if you havent thought about it. i dont really know dreams.. i am sorry.

Hi JA
Your writings really touch my heart, it all sounds so familiar!! I share in your pain. I hope you're feeling a little better now and the anxiety level has gone down a bit. Sometimes it's just moment by moment, hang in there!! xx

((((((((((( jinnyann )))))))))))))))

I know it is dreadful having nightmares like that but actually it is part of the healing process.

As in PTSD these dreams/memories come up so that they can be filed away in the correct part of the brain.

Take good care of yourself while this healing takes place and use your best coping strats to make it less distressing.

Hi Jinny

I'm sorry you're having these dreams. I have lots of nightmares too, so I know what it's like. I think you're right that it might be coming now because you've been posting a lot about it, but it is good that you're working with your past. Just be careful not to move too fast I think.
Try to do something to make the nightmare go away. I know it is hard but what works best for me is to force myself to do something. Just to keep you busy. Like cleaning or going for a walk or something.
I understand why going to your moms and meeting her new boyfriend ca be tough. Maybe you don't have to stay very long. Think hard if there is anything that might make the visit easier. I hope for you that it goes well.

Hugs

Izzy

thankyou everone for replying

love you all

kerry

nightmares in veterans with ptsd:

In The Oregonian newspaper today they said that the generic drug used for high BP and prostate problems, prazosin, reduces nightmares and improves sleep in veterans with PTSD. Now this study was partularly with Veterans. But I see no reason it would not apply to any PTSD sufferer. My be worth a try.

thankyou for that i will mention it to my gp



love

i know what nightmares feel like. especially ones that seem so real. i was excited to read that you also write poetry. it is something i also like to do. here's one i wrote after awakening from such a nightmare and in a full blown panic attack....maybe you can understand.

i feel the pressure coming down upon my head,
submerging my face beneath the dark water,
no air, can't breathe,
holding it and holding it.
my hands grasping up into the air,
searching for something to hang onto.
my eyes buldging,
my ears ringing,
the pain in my chest becomes overwhelming,
wanting desperately to gasp for air.
and then realizing i could die,
the panic sets in,
the fear races through my veins,
my heart pounding likea big bass drum,
all the time never seeing,
never knowing who's hand held me.
then with a jerk i awaken.
sweat drenched clothes,
trembling hands, eyes wide open.
it still feels so real.

lots of love to you jinny
recluse1