To hold on to it or to let it go? (Anxiety)

Hi. So since as long as I remember, my mom has been telling me to go to a psychologist or someone because I'm not "normal". She says that I get sad easily, I try to avoid being with my family, and she tries to calm me down when I'm in the car, going somewhere, or in public because of my anxiety.

I get anxious for no reason. I get anxious whenever I go to starbucks, in-n-out burger, etc, even though I order the same thing all the time (it's probably the thought of interacting with a stranger), I get anxious because of things I can't control (arriving to school early/late, traffic, school bell is going to ring and I'm not done packing up, walking through the crowded hallway, asking my teachers for help whenever I don't understand a problem, etc) I'm determined to do something (like learning how to drive, cook, do the laundry, etc) but then I chicken out, making my family disappointed, and I get disappointed too (I'm 17, by the way).

My whole family looks up to me, I have friends, good grades (A's and B's), and I've never gotten in trouble (fights, detention, getting arrested, etc). When I had my first kiss at 14 years old, I got grounded because I didn't tell my mom, making me look like a bad daughter in the eyes of my family.

Sometimes I think my anxiety isn't normal and that I need help, but I'm scared that my family will see it as another flaw in my "perfection" and that causes more anxiety because I fear being judged by my family, friends, and classmates. I'm also used to this lifestyle because I've lived with this all my life, untreated. I think that if I get my anxiety taken away, an important part of me gets taken away too (like my arms or legs). What do I do? Should I pretend being normal or should I just deal with my family and seek help?

hi xxxyyyzzz
it is tempting to hold on to what is familiar because you know what to expect and letting go of that, changing, creates the unknown and that is really scary. a lot of what you describe is what i experience in daily life and i am really sick of it. i am 51 now and i first started getting ill when i was a kid. my parents always said i wasnt normal and needed help but they never got it for me. i too was supposed to be the perfect daughter. that is what created so much anxiety for me. i didnt get help until about 8 years ago after a massive breakdown. i wish so much that i had gotten help at your age. i feel like i have wasted my whole life because now that i have gotten help, my life is so completely changed for the better. it is such a struggle living as you do. i can tell you it is an amazing difference not having to live life so anxious all the time. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Hi xxxyyyzzz! I am 17 also. I panic over little things also. I do not have my drivers license yet due to my anxiety disorder, but I fully intend on getting it. In fact I have withdrawn from school because of my conversion disorder. I don't like going to movies at the movie theater because I am too afraid of being late/early. When I have to purchase something at a store I tend to make it go as quick as possible to just get it over with. Which typically leads to spilling change, dropping my bag, or tripping over my dog.

I did not think much of my anxiety until my family pushed me I to seeking help. I have and I'm finding myself to be slowly improving. I felt as if I was disappointment to my family for a while because they started treating me different or getting frustrated when I didn't feel comfortable entering a store to grab something. But I now understand that they just didn't know what to do either about my anxiety.

let it go is always my motto with anxiety.

Getting help for this is the very best thing that you can do. I agree with Kaliope that getting help early can change your whole life. btw..

Welcome to PC. I hope that you keep reaching out at home and here.

Just wanted to pop in and welcome you to Psych central (((xxxyyyzzz))) I'm so glad you are here and already receiving help from fellow members. Best wishes and I look forward to seeing you around!!!