Can I get better or is this just me?

I can't ever seem to relax - at work, school, with friends, alone. I'm almost always tense and anxious. Lately I've been wondering if I can get better at all or whether this is actually who I am, something to be accepted, not fought. Thoughts?

Dear friend

your mind is constantly spinning with so many thoughts. its the reason you feel tense and anxious. it may be due to too much stress or brain chemical imbalance. first i want you to accept yourself. that doesn't mean you are unworthy and not try anything. when you make peace with yourself you let go off the struggle. this eases the healing process.

learn to relax. there are so many techniques like meditation, yoga, taichi-qigong, PMR. take it slow. practice patiently. don't give up. if its too tedious limit the duration and then increase it gradually.

I have been wondering this exact same thing recently. I'm always on edge. I am thinking of giving yoga a try to see if it calms my nerves and will also help with my depression.

i think in time things will get easier for you.

maybe not to the point where it's all perfict and wonderful, but i'm sure you can find meds that help you or learn some skills from therapy, something like that

Meds help me greatly too. i noticed ive felt much much better after i was put on propanolol, for migraine headaches, but my anxiety level was much less now. i am also on 7 differrent meds but never felt as good as after the propanolol.

yeah you need to learn coping mechanisms that work for you, work through the anxiety instead of medicating it away and i can tell you will get better.... its "exposure therapy"
your mind will learn to compensate in healthier ways as you expose yourself...
i've been doing this for a couple years now... its better and i dont have to take PRN as much, although i take it somedays just to prevent any issues

this has been my experience i dont know if it is the same for others

Hi friends: thanks for the responses. I'm not eager at all to take medications and I don't wish to debate that at present.

Can you tell me more?

To clarify: I can function well in social situations, I have friends and I get along with coworkers. Bothering me is a dogged uneasy feeling of no particulars.

Like you, I don't want to be dependent on medication, unlike you, I don't feel uneasy when alone, only around others. Someone on another site highly recommended Saffron (yes the spice) for it's ability to calm anxiety. I'm going to try that. I also take magnesium, magnolia bark extract, and cod liver oil which are shown to have positive effects on brain functioning. And less side effects than prescribed medication.

How much caffeine do you consume? Caffeine can amplify anxiety symptoms. I drink a lot of soda but I've noticed that when I drink just water I'm more relaxed still anxious though but not as bad. Breathing techniques can help relieve some anxiety helps me sometimes.

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I drink 1-2 cups of coffee a day most days; sometimes none. The caffeine is not responsible for my background anxiety and general discomfort with myself - those were around long before I was drinking coffee. I do breathing exercises as my therapist advised, in fact, the only useful thing he ever said or did. Breathing techniques, however, only treat symptoms, and not highly effectively either, without true relief.

My bad. Just trying to say things that help me.

I want the anxiety to go away in a lasting fashion, not deal with side effects and symptoms. Advice welcome!..

My self-medication is blocking out all distressing thoughts. Until they break in and. I break down. spilling my guts to someone, Then all over again..

It can go away, or at least be drastically reduced, by working on it. 6 months ago I was a wreck. With effort and therapy I'm now able to function and feel "normal." Instead of leaping to the worst case scenario, I'm able to be more realistic, and give myself a break when things don't go as planned. It makes everything much easier to handle.

First session with my new counsellor today. She practices EMDR therapy. What am I in for?

Dear friend

best wishes. do share your experience

Will do. First proper session is next Monday.

Something that's helped me, and you wouldn't believe it actually can, is rest and relaxation music. Well, it's not really music, basically it's a calm voiced individual guiding you to relaxation to the sound of soft and calming background music (or noises). You focus your energy on relaxing one part of your body at a time, until it feels like you're floating. Not even kidding, it's great. It's been too long since I've used it, so I can't give you any specific names. Do a search on itunes, or even google. Buy one with good reviews.

Basically you become so relaxed that you sleep, and well. Do this a few times a week when you're wound up. Or do it every night.

I would just get too restless; fortunately I don't have trouble sleeping.

Had my second session today; counselor is going slowly - she wasted two sessions, ending each one early (half the allotted time) when we could have done everything we have so far in a single session. She says actual EMDR therapy is yet to come.

What transpired in my session yesterday: she asked me to imagine and describe a "safe place" (physical environment) to her. Then she read back my description asking me to imagine it again. Asked me to practice before our next session. Says I can use this tool any time I feel angry or anxious.

Definitely won't work because my anger and anxiety are feelings I carry with me wherever I go - it's nothing to do with some sort of room or anything.

Dear friend

is there no place you can imagine( i repeat "imagine") yourself to be safe?

just wanted to help you to imagine a place where you feel peace and calm. maybe a cabin in the woods, monastery on the mountain with kind people, an uninhabited island with enough provisions for a year. your mind is debating with you that there is no such place when you'll feel free of anger and anxiety but can you tell it "what if there exists such a place"?

As I mentioned, for me it's not about a safe place, but a strong mental state.

I feel the exact same way. I wonder if it will ever lessen. I do take meds but I hate them. I feel like I'm at their will. They do not help much anyway. I also can never relax so I feel you completely. I do notice that finding as much info about the problems does help. Through reading, internet, Drs, etc. I do hope things get better for you. Just my two cents.