[BlossomingLen]

Hello there. How’re you all doing today? Good, I hope.

I’m getting sick and tired of this Paranoia of mine. I just had a huge episode tonight and I really am fed up with it. I hate being scared, I hate having to check everything all the time. I just want to know what this is. If these are symptoms of a disorder, I need to know what it is. At least to bring some closure. Some kind of answer is better than anything, so I have something to go off of. Perhaps posting my last Paranoia-based post in the Anxiety section was a bad idea. Because maybe it isn’t even related to my Anxiety?

Here are some of the things I do.

- - Fear of intruders entering the house that is present throughout the day and night.
- - Hides knives in the rooms for self defense.
- - Checks the doors and windows every night to make sure they’re locked tightly. Checks almost every night for intruders in every room.
- - Constant state of fear that ruins things that I enjoy.
- - Covers webcams and things that might be used to listen in or watch me.
- - Still afraid even after the situation has been figured out.
- - On rare occasions I have hostile thoughts about the people I live with.
- - Kinda-rare feelings of Dissociation.
- - I lie a lot. (Usually for other people’s sake.)
- - Some Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. (The way I chew food and climb up and down stairs.)
- - Social Anxiety. (I’m socially isolated, I overly dizzy and have an overwhelming sense of fear when I talk to others, they tire me out easily.)
- - Depression. (I have no energy, I’m very empty and irritated a lot of the time, I have bad depressive episodes.)

If anything, and I mean anything, falls under some of these symptoms; please let me know.

Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day.

[jbuttz]

Hey Len nice to hear from you! Sorry to hear about the issues you are having. I too have social, gad anxiety type issues and things I've noticed that I do similar to you are covering the Webcam, I always make sure the doors are locked and I also look out the peep hole. One of my biggest paranoia issues are when I'm pulling into my complex I think I always notice the same people driving around following me especially if they are wearing sunglasses lol.

I don't think mine is overly a problem where it puts me or others at risk. I kind of just laugh it off after. When you say that you are hiding knives to feel safe it makes me think of past trauma. Whatever the reason I hope you can figure it out Len, sorry if I was no help.

[BlossomingLen]

Ah, hello! I remember you. Thank you so much for responding to my post.

I don't believe I've had past trauma in my life, however. There was a time where a robber tried to get in the house, but I was asleep when that happened and had no idea it was going on. My mom and dad had to take care of the issue. So I'm not sure how anything could really tie into the whole intruder aspect of the situation. Sometimes nothing can even trigger it. I remember I was downstairs with my little brother, watching TV. The thought of an intruder coming it bothered me so much that I had to grab a knife and my body was all tense and I was trembling. I know that my Dad's always been paranoid. Ever since I've known him, he's always been very cautious and always checking to make sure every possible entrance to the house is secured. So perhaps I've gotten it from him. But that means that it's genetic. A possible disorder that's genetic... I'm unsure. But it certainly puts the situation in a new sort of light.

Anyways, thank you for reading and responding to my post. I always appreciate the interest and concern.

[jbuttz]

I work as an order selector and I drive through a freezer and there are people who can help put boxes onto your order(skid) when you call it out but if they do it wrong it doesn't negatively reflect their accuracy. Can you actually 100% trust your work colleagues to do what you asked or what they read on your screen? Probably not, so already right there I'm placed into a situation of paranoia.

It's hard to able to trust because when you do, sometimes you get burned. Thus, paranoia IMHO. Problems with depression and anxiety I think are where my paranoia stem from. Oh and also my mj use.

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by BlossomingLen

Hello there. How’re you all doing today? Good, I hope.

I’m getting sick and tired of this Paranoia of mine. I just had a huge episode tonight and I really am fed up with it. I hate being scared, I hate having to check everything all the time. I just want to know what this is. If these are symptoms of a disorder, I need to know what it is. At least to bring some closure. Some kind of answer is better than anything, so I have something to go off of. Perhaps posting my last Paranoia-based post in the Anxiety section was a bad idea. Because maybe it isn’t even related to my Anxiety?

Here are some of the things I do.

- - Fear of intruders entering the house that is present throughout the day and night.
- - Hides knives in the rooms for self defense.
- - Checks the doors and windows every night to make sure they’re locked tightly. Checks almost every night for intruders in every room.
- - Constant state of fear that ruins things that I enjoy.
- - Covers webcams and things that might be used to listen in or watch me.
- - Still afraid even after the situation has been figured out.
- - On rare occasions I have hostile thoughts about the people I live with.
- - Kinda-rare feelings of Dissociation.
- - I lie a lot. (Usually for other people’s sake.)
- - Some Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. (The way I chew food and climb up and down stairs.)
- - Social Anxiety. (I’m socially isolated, I overly dizzy and have an overwhelming sense of fear when I talk to others, they tire me out easily.)
- - Depression. (I have no energy, I’m very empty and irritated a lot of the time, I have bad depressive episodes.)

If anything, and I mean anything, falls under some of these symptoms; please let me know.

Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day.

There are several "diagnoses" that come to mind but you Really need to talk to a professional (& try for one that doesn't immediately go to medication as treatment, you are young, and you are aware of the problems, there are many things that, with support, you can work on to change this...there may be a role for meds but not immediately)---Each person is unique, and your experiences, and more importantly your perception of...may give some practical places to begin. (also, does anyone else in your family have, or have a history of this kind of anxiety/fear...?)---- If you have a primary care provider (MD/APRN/other) that you trust, you may want to start by making an appointment with that person to discuss this (write it down first if that helps to just give to the person to read, maybe even ahead of the appt.) as they are able to refer you to resources that may help.
I went through something similar when I was young....without good intervention at the time...I know my life could have been much better in many ways had I been able to talk to someone (I did a lot of research, but when I was young, a long time ago, little was out there that was helpful in a practical way)
Let us know how it goes! And you will find plenty of folks here who can relate, and tell you what helped them. But, again, it is important to have that support in your daily life.

[avlady]

I also think you should see a doc and t. talking about it would take a load off your shoulders. meds may help too. your anxiety level seem to be high too. i hope you can find more people who relate here, and good luck

[10yrsgone]

Some of these factors you listed are sometimes promoted throughout the media as "hot button topics". Depending on how informed we are, these news stories could very well manifest themselves into paranoia throughout our everyday lives.

I'm not suggesting watching or reading news stories caused these in you, rather my recommendation is to ignore these "human interest" stories as much as possible. It's fine to be informed, but these overdramatized reports suggest they're a much bigger issue than they are.

I can relate to this to an extent...I feel paranoia over five things: Home invasions, identity theft, my online identity being exposed, my online accounts being hacked, and people following me for long distances while driving.

In my case, the fear over home invasions happened because of one in High School. The perpetrator was a then-close friend of mine. He made off with all of my video games, video game consoles and half of my father's DVD's because a relative mistakenly left one window open. This affected me for years, and still does to a certain level...if I'm awake in the middle of the night, any "bump" is enough to make me take notice.

The ID theft/hacking thing may be a result of the media. You hear this crap nearly every week on the news...it's enough to make everyone a little uneasy and has made me forget every overcomplex password I make for every website. I had a small incident happen during college that was easily handled by my bank before I discovered it'd happened. Ever since then, I've tried to be as cautious as possible but I still get uneasy.

The online identity is a big deal to me as I function on multiple sites under different usernames and try to keep things separate. I run a web show, so if my real name were to get out, either through some coincidence or some troll trying to be silly, I'd lose my mind...so I took massive steps to make sure my real life and online life were totally separate.

Finally, I also have an issue thinking cars are "following" me...but this could also be inspired by news reports of random perpetrators tailing victims for miles. When I see the same car in my rear-view mirror after a while, or if I'm going the speed limit and the car behind me is at 3-4 car-lengths behind, I start getting suspicious. In 100% of the cases it's all in my mind, but if I start getting concerned I often turn down a side street and let my GPS get me back to the main road.

Anyway, as others have said, the best thing to do in this case would be to discuss this with a professional. I am no expert on any of this, therefore I can only compare and relate to my own experience. Whichever method you choose of sorting this out, I hope you can eventually find some clarity and overcome these fears.

[jbuttz]

10yrsgone I agree with you about media negatively effecting you. When I logout of my Hotmail it redirects to MSN news and I sit and read horrible things that I really don't care for, care for too much and find myself easily distracted.

I've been aware of this problem so I find ways like even taking out checking my email. I'd rather not have to read hours worth of hate just because I wanted to empty my junk mail box.

[BlossomingLen]

Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing well.

Thank you for all of the wonderful responses and feedback! It was almost overwhelming. As much as I would love to go see a professional, my family doesn't want me to. What with my mom being the 'Hippie' type of person who just loves nature and wants the sunlight and environment make me feel better. While my dad is... well, strange. I've tried bringing up the idea of going to a mental professional before and they've kind of dropped it very quickly. Especially my mom who started looking up other methods of healing my possible ailments rather than seeking professionals for guidance. But I'll find a way to fix all of this, I'm sure. Either way, thank you all for the support. It truly does mean a lot. You're all very amazing people.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day!

[Nike007]

Hello. I was in the same boat as you (both same age, I'm female though, and INTJ).

I managed to get services, but my mom wants to believe it's a hormonal problem, but they found nothing and said "take this, then your problems will go away" basically so now I have to take this medication starting in January, but they have no clue.

Anyways, I am going to say it for the sake of you, but you should seek a professional. For me, I was sure I had social anxiety disorder, and became DXed with it once I seemed help and have been in therapy for a year but not its gone. I need to get referred for some other testing my pdoc doesn't do though.

But, what I have is below, but it mainly sounds like OCD related to the experience you had with the intruder. I am reading this book called "The Anxiety Survival Guide for Teens" by Jennifer Shannon. It's been really good and it helped me a lot today (I'm going to make a post on it). But, basically, like the example they used in the book, the one event that was negative has triggered anxiety over it happening again, though the odds are quite slim. You are starting to check locks to make sure there are no intruders, making sure no intruder can watch you. I think it has caused depression in you because all this anxiety has controlled your life to the point of depression. Social anxiety maybe if you said more things. I am unsure.

Anyways, maybe look into self help books for OCD and depression in the mean time? Try to cope on your own until you are older. Hope everything is well .

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by BlossomingLen

Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing well.

Thank you for all of the wonderful responses and feedback! It was almost overwhelming. As much as I would love to go see a professional, my family doesn't want me to. What with my mom being the 'Hippie' type of person who just loves nature and wants the sunlight and environment make me feel better. While my dad is... well, strange. I've tried bringing up the idea of going to a mental professional before and they've kind of dropped it very quickly. Especially my mom who started looking up other methods of healing my possible ailments rather than seeking professionals for guidance. But I'll find a way to fix all of this, I'm sure. Either way, thank you all for the support. It truly does mean a lot. You're all very amazing people.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day!

You can still talk to your doc/care provider, and you can actually get help yourself at your age, through a school counselor, or a local mental health center/peer support groups/other. Some of the things your mom looks up might be helpful----don't dismiss them out of hand---but do do what seems to work for you, and don't be afraid to talk to others/or to disagree with mom. I am sure you will do well & there are lots of people here who hear you

[winter4me]

as an aside, i would recommend a sport/physical activity (whether a school/other team, or doing 5Ks/biking/hiking) as a routine thing......it just helps in many ways...not a panacea

To me this is quite clearly a case of OCD. I suggest taking the Y-BOCS checklist (a pdf you can google). Therapy and medication can help.

[BlossomingLen]

Originally Posted by rcat

To me this is quite clearly a case of OCD. I suggest taking the Y-BOCS checklist (a pdf you can google). Therapy and medication can help.

Hello there! How're you doing today?

Thank you so much for your recommendation. This was exactly what I was looking for. I took it on multiple different sites and I've filled out the actual checklist and I've gotten the range of moderate to severe OCD. The ranges being from 23 to 24. It's kind of funny that it's come down to this, honestly. Because the only disorder that my parents were concerned about me having was OCD. They mentioned it to me and I denied it, I denied it constantly and profusely. Yet when I brought up Depression or Anxiety to them, they dismissed it.

So maybe they were right. This really sheds a brand new light on the issue. Thank you so much for this! I'll have to show them my results and remind them of what they said. There might be hope of me seeing a Mental Professional with them after all.

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!

[winter4me]

Do your parents support you getting help for OCD? If so, take advantage of that support.
(((((((((hug))))))))))))) ...have you talked to them yet?
It is good to have a place to begin!!!