Hello,

I'm overall new here, have been here for about 3 weeks.
I mostly love helping people with my insight.
I advice and show, more than I tell to do.

I made a post recently which was meant to help someone.
But it seems my insight was innocent since I had limited knowledge on the complexity of the subject in question by OP. This doesn't surprise me, as I am open to obtaining more knowledge and insight, and I know I there are many things I have not experienced or heard of.

But my problem is the way people treat me when I'm "wrong" (I have mixed feelings about using terms of "right and wrong" when it comes to advising).
I ended up being 3rd person'ed by the ones who expressed disagreement with what I said.
I know that there is always more to learn and hear from people, but I tend to feel cast off when I'm 3rd person'ed in front of my face.
I also tend to feel offended when said I'm wrong in 2nd person, but the 3rd person way is worse for me.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Vibrating Obsidian: I'm sorry you had this unfortunate experience. I have had the experience of replying to someone's post with what I hoped would be useful insight, only to realize later that I apparently had no idea what I was talking about! I've also had the experience of having, apparently, offended someone here on PC whom I thought I was offering support. I suppose these sorts of experiences are inevitable from time-to-time. Hopefully this experience will not color your opinion of us to severely.

Thanks Skeezyks.
While I know that eventually we are all individuals of our own, I don't like it when people blame or dismiss someone and his words, especially on a forum meant for support and learning, as we are eventually all here because of this.
But on the other hand it's a big community, a bit more than I thought, so diversity is probably to be expected.
The last thing I want to do is give wrong advice. I try my best to give well-constructed advice, especially on topics on which I have less experience.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

...it's a big community, a bit more than I thought, so diversity is probably to be expected.
The last thing I want to do is give wrong advice. I try my best to give well-constructed advice, especially on topics on which I have less experience.

Right here is an example of my not knowing what might be best to say even though you and I share some of the same experiences, thoughts and concerns. One thing I try to keep in mind is the fact that not everyone who posts is actually looking for help...so I try to watch for actual questions, then try to only share from actual experience while keeping my mere beliefs, theories, philosophies or whatever else to myself.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry this happened, sometimes I post hugs and no advice ... I'm always happy to receive hugs as well (although I know there are some people who don't like cyber hugs)

I don't mind people disagreeing with me politely, but some people are plain rude in disagreement. It's not always that your feelings are not right. We can tell an offense from a polite response. Defend yourself and your opinion. Don't assume that people know more than you do.

Originally Posted by leejosepho

Right here is an example of my not knowing what might be best to say even though you and I share some of the same experiences, thoughts and concerns. One thing I try to keep in mind is the fact that not everyone who posts is actually looking for help...so I try to watch for actual questions, then try to only share from actual experience while keeping my mere beliefs, theories, philosophies or whatever else to myself.

The thing is, some advice, mostly mindfulness advice, are based on beliefs, thoughts and philosophies.
I have a tendency to help not just when someone asks, but also when he mentions an on-topic issue for instance.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

The thing is, some advice, mostly mindfulness advice, are based on beliefs, thoughts and philosophies.
I have a tendency to help not just when someone asks, but also when he mentions an on-topic issue for instance.

Yes, understood, and I should have clarified a bit by saying I try to not sound adversarial or controversial when sharing things other than actual experience.

[turtl]

I get anxious and panicky when I try to explain something to another person especially regarding my dep. I used to get horrible anxiety attacks when I went grocery shopping. Still do occasionally. I finally figured out after digging into the recesses of my mind, the anxiety was due to writing checks and unable to always have the funds to cover grocery shopping for me and the kids. I would feel like the cashier might not be able to cash my check and all the food we had in our basket would be returned. It still makes me sad and cry. (And I worked full time. ) I have recently begun to wonder if all my years of struggling and trying to always get by with my children and then being a broke young widow ,has crept up on me and broadsided my a*s...lol...

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

Hello,

I'm overall new here, have been here for about 3 weeks.
I mostly love helping people with my insight.
I advice and show, more than I tell to do.

I made a post recently which was meant to help someone.
But it seems my insight was innocent since I had limited knowledge on the complexity of the subject in question by OP. This doesn't surprise me, as I am open to obtaining more knowledge and insight, and I know I there are many things I have not experienced or heard of.

But my problem is the way people treat me when I'm "wrong" (I have mixed feelings about using terms of "right and wrong" when it comes to advising).
I ended up being 3rd person'ed by the ones who expressed disagreement with what I said.
I know that there is always more to learn and hear from people, but I tend to feel cast off when I'm 3rd person'ed in front of my face.
I also tend to feel offended when said I'm wrong in 2nd person, but the 3rd person way is worse for me.

For me, no opinion is WRONG. I don't think you should over analyze your replies. I think if you are speaking from the heart at the time than you are an individual and your individual input, insights, etc. matter

I generally only post on a post that means something to me. Either i have experienced it or have witnessed someone else experiencing it. If I'm on a post it is because I care and if my words are not welcome by someone that is not even the original poster (especially) I can chose to ignore the comment that is meant to offend me or set me off into a back and fourth argument spiral.

Being on a forum is a wonderful benefit in that you can say pretty much what you think (other than purposely attacking someone or making someones situation worse)....I tend to feel better when I SKIP over antagonizing comments.

My feeling is that if a person is responding to MY post in any negative way there is something going on with "them". And I don't need to jump into the circle of negativity. Just skip over them and move to the next thing whether it be a real life thing or the next post.

Not worth stewing about...really.