[Mind_key]

Hi All,

I'm new here. I was looking for a website about the mind and anxiety and I found you all. I've been suffering from some anxiety about the future, health, death. It's probably been going on for more then 3 months now. I'm not sure if this triggered it or not but over the summer we had my teen age daughter's hips xrayed because one leg is just slightly turned in. We went to a specialist but it turns out she is perfectly fine. I had all this anxiety that her hip displasia as a baby hadn't been corrected. I had a full blown anxiety attack before we even took her to the specialist. I feared major surgery or who knows what. Thank heavens she's fine. I've suffered thoughts of death, going to hell because I'm not a good enough person and worried about the fact that half my life is gone and I need to change before it's too late.

The current crisis is my husband who had 5 moles removed by the dermatologist. We won't know until next week the results. I've had horrible fear that I am going to lose him. I even began to imagine my life as a single Mom. I either can't sleep at all or wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing, worrying. I feel like my life is on hold until next week. I can't stop feeling like either I am going to die or someone close to me and can't shake it.

This is nutz and I don't want to feel this way anymore. I wish I knew why I am feeling this way. I did lose my Dad 3 years ago this past May. Maybe that's part of it too, I just don't know. I'm hoping maybe someone else has gone through this at some point in their life and can maybe give me some advice. So sorry for the long post. I just needed to share all these crazy feelings. I just want them to go away and feel at peace again. Thanks for reading my post if you made it to the end. MK

[debbie_tabor]

Hi Mind-key, it's natural to worry about the people we love, but it does sound like your anxiety is becoming uncomfortable and hard to cope with. Maybe it is something to do with your dad dying. It sounds like you need someone to talk to to understand why you're feeling this way, and to realise that you're not crazy, and just for some support. Can you find a counsellor/therapist to talk to? You can of course keep talking to us. Take care.

[Perna]

Welcome to PsychCentral, Mind key. When I get to laying awake at night worrying about my husband's death I try to think of specific things I'm worried about and then work to make them better. I had my husband write me a "paper" explaining our finances/investments and I'm trying to make more friends and get involved in more activities. I suggested we move to this townhouse so we'd have more people/neighbors "around" us than we had in our old rambler in the country, and so I'd feel more secure at night (fewer ways in and out and locks "better").

Try to think of specific things that worry you and concentrate on them and then the "general" fear of death or others dying might not bother you as much. If you're afraid of going to hell because you're not a good enough person, think of some things you could do that would make you feel better/would help your self esteem?

Yes, when my father died I switched to my stepmother and then realized I'd switched to my husband, etc. so it makes sense to me that you are afraid now that your husband's moles have been removed and you're waiting for results with them. My T gave me good advice when she said to keep putting one foot in front of the other; the more I stay in the "moment" with whatever is in front of me, the better off I am rather than worrying what might happen later. The more specific you can get your worries the better you can deal with them. Either refuse to think about things that aren't detailed enough to "mean" anything or else call their bluff and take them to their logical conclusion. Few things happen "suddenly" so realize you will have time and work to do that will help before A gets to B.

[DocClyde]

Welcome MindKey!