Intense Driving Anxiety

Hi everyone, first post in this forum, so I hope this is the right section. I need some advice regarding my driving anxiety.

I've been terrified since I started at 14, and did not obtain my license until just about a year ago, because I was too afraid to drive at all. (I'm 19 now.)

I've gotten much more comfortable driving, but I still cannot drive on the highway. My main issue with it is merging on. Even thinking about it makes me start to panic, and puts me on the verge of tears. It's not debilitating right now, as my school is close. I'm fine driving on main roads, two lane roads, side streets, etc.

My driving instructor forced me to go on the highway once when I was beginning. The experience ended with me crying and panicking in the car, and nearly vomiting. I don't know if my fear is worsened by this experience?

It's becoming quite frustrating having to ask my parents for a ride somewhere when it involves going on the highway. I've just gotten a new car as well, and it's stupid to not be able to take it to pick up a friend or go somewhere in another city.

I'm on medication for depression and anxiety, which helps a lot, and I rarely have panic attacks. This scares me so much I can have a severe one.

How do I overcome this? Any advice is welcome. Thanks.

Hello. Welcome to PC You could try exposure therapy. You could practice merging at times when the traffic on the highway is light. You could merge on at one entrance, drive on the highway until you get to the next exit and get off. You could do this until you feel comfortable. Good luck. Sending big hugs.

Welcome to psych central Jennifer has a good idea, try getting on the highway at a slow time of day. Driving on the highway is scary for any new driver. You are not alone in this. You will gradually get used to it.

Yes as Jennifer said, exposure therapy. Start small like maybe driving around a neighborhood or even out in the country where no one’s around. I get what you’re going through after I got in an accident a few years ago in the winter. Now I make my bf drive me if it’s snowing or raining hard. I guess we both need exposure therapy!

**hugs**

I don't have my own car and am very anxious to drive someone else's. I have a host of different worries I never had when I did have my own car.

I have driving anxiety too. I can only drive local. It is very debilitating not being able to go most places. It is the one thing I hate about myself cause it controls my life

I'm afraid to drive and so is my daughter. I can drive if I need to, but my husband does most of the driving. A lot of it is lack of control; even if I drive well I can't stop other people from not driving safe. I didn't get my license until my late twenties.

Highway driving is usually scary. I usually practice driving the route in my head, imagining all going well. It helps bring the panic down.

Hi all, I do have driver's anxiety and I am motivated to learn how to drive. It started when I first took lessons from an instructor that wasn't so patient at all on my third lesson. She was shouting at me, and felt the anxiety. I didn't know how to control the car like steering ,making correct left and right turns, how the gas pedal by controlling the speed and braking. What would be the best exercises?
On my 3rd lesson last Sunday, it was my fault that I wasn't prepared for the lesson because I attended on writng a food blog. Then went on my 3rd lesson with the instructor immediately without any rest. I admitted and was sorry, but treating me this way is so unprofessional of him. He should thank me that I pay him for teaching the things that I don't know, and how to approach it.
So when I went inside the car, I put on my seat belt, adjusted my seat forward and height to see over the dashboard. I am a short driver. Then made sure I adjusted the side mirrors and the rear mirror. Then I ignited the car's ignition, and waited for my instructor to back up and get ready to turn out . When he noticed that I was steering too quickly. I heard from him"What happened to you? you were doing fine on your second lesson because I was relaxed. Now, you are nervous again". Throughout the lesson, I felt very uneasy but I was trying to relax while driving on a straight line. He kept on saying,"Don't hold the steering wheel tightly. But I wasn't. Then another is that don't crept up multiple times on checking if both sides are clear. He taught me, but in an unprofessional and hostile manner. Ok, I get it. I just didn't how to do it. So I know for a fact, that I needed to still control the car and how to steer the wheel.
Even though I made a mistake, I was trying to composed myself, but his unprofessionalism and intensity was more demanding.
After the end of my lesson, he told me,"why do you always plan your lessons at 5pm? I said to him, that was the only available time that the office has given me. So I knew too late that he was a popular driving instructor because he shows you the whys and hows. Then he said,"I have a lot of students that want to book me". I thought why are you thinking this way, when I needed some help on learning how to drive.
After the lesson, I felt so irritated, mad and even shouted my family about my experience. I knew that I had driver's anxiety -all throughout the experience.
After a talk with family members, they told to schedule multiple driving appointments with him every other day to learn other driving skills. I know I have a long way to go until I am ready for the driving test. I don't think I am proficient yet but eventually get there....
So yeah, then my other brother called me and asked how was my driving lesson. So I told him the whole experience that I had with him. He confided me, that this is ok since you are new driver and asked me if the medication that I had before gets me drowsy. I said NO. I take propanolol. but I am using it with caution.
My driver's anxiety is getting too close to the curb, next to parked cars and afraid of making wide turns. Finally, on my third day- I had a rough day-it was stressful, irritating and frustrated. I was considering changing instructors, but on my fourth, I will talk to my instructor about the experience I had with him was unprofessional, not considerate to my needs and will be motivated to learn how to drive. And it is going to take me more time to hone and sharpen my driving skills. No family members will practice with me, and have no friends to practice with me either. So I am actually stuck with a driver instructor since he is knowledgeable, experience but I don't he has dealt someone like me who has driver's anxiety. So if you have any suggestions, I am open to them. Thanks for your support.

Hi Everyone,
This is my first post for Driver's anxiety. Recently, I have decided that I wanted to learn how to drive. It took me over 15 years of phobia and driver's anxiety because of a horrible experience from a driver's instructor I had before. Now, I am motivated to learn how to drive. So my brother called this instructor and we started 3 weeks ago. Here is my situation, I first practiced with a family member but she wasn't dedicated to teach me how to drive. But 2 times we went to parking lots to practice my steering, controlling the car like how to put pressure on the gas pedal and braking smoothly. Then after that, my sister-in-law didn't want to practice with me anymore.
After 2 months, my brother called for 2 driving appointments with a new driving instructor that teaches his students the whys and how their school works. When my case is unique because I don't have any friends to teach me and practice on my driving skills. On my first lesson, he asked"why do want to learn how to drive?" I told him that I am motivated to learn to drive because I have to commute to work, not waiting for public transportation like the bus for more than 30 minutes,and commute for 2 hours; help my mom while she does her grocery shopping and going to other places. Perhaps have the freedom to go wherever I want and add more reviews on my food blog. So I said there are many reasons. At first, he was nice and easy going, but knew I was experiencing driver's anxiety like not hitting other cars beside me, or several cars passing at the opposite direction. The Second lesson went ok and it was a slight improvement too.But he added where and how to adjust rear and side mirrors, seat adjustments for height and forward. Making left and right turns, lane changes, pull over and drive in reverse. Then straightening your reverse drive until you reach 3 cars in length. So I learned a lot on those 2 days.
Then on the 3rd day, I blame for what I did prior to this, attending to an activity that I shouldn't do - writing my food blog and not resting. So I wasn't prepared for the 3rd lesson. So I got in the car, and did the 7 pre-routine tasks before starting how to drive. Then he noticed how I steered the wheel in reverse and going back so I can turn out and do a right turn on a public road. He shouted,"What happened to you?", I felt uneasy, nervous and my driver's anxiety kicked in. Then it became a chain reaction of mistakes because I didn't know where we are going and didn't give me any directions. It was an intense experiences of telling me what to do, and said"Don't be too nervous. It is all in your mind." I was trying to tell him I had driver's anxiety. He said he was upset about it. There were instructions that I didn't understand like how to check both sides are clear or not. At first, I stopped at the STOP sign, then I crept up few seconds multiple times, and then checked both sides. He asked,"Is it clear?" I said, yes. Then he showed me to crept up just before the bike lane so I could see if there is a car passing by. I really didn't realize it, and told me how to do it after that. But kind of shouted at me.
Then after that, I was trying to relax while I was driving on a straight line. He said,"Don't hold the wheel too tightly." I was opening my fingers and driving with my palms. After that, I felt very irritated.
Then at the end of the lesson,"why do you always book your lessons so late at 5pm?" I said, "that was the only time that it was available from the office". My lessons are schedule 1 week in advance. So I didn't know this, and said I wasn't the one who scheduled the first 2 classes. It was my brother. Another is when we ended our lessons after I was on my way home. I parked the car. He said'"I had several students who passed the test who are 68 and 70 years old that take longer to pass the test.You are so difficult to teach- and noted that other students wanted to book him but there are no times available because of you." I was thinking,"How come he is thinking this way when I needed his help to teach how to drive?" After that experience, I felt so irritated, mad and frustrated because no one wants to teach me.
This is what I understand -- I know I had to admit I made a mistake but this driver's anxiety will take time to overcome. After that, I feel more motivated to learn but I know I have to overcome this anxiety and it will take a longer time to adjust and put in more confidence in driving and make improvements. He thinks that I am not serious about this, and thinks I am wasting his time. But 1 thing, he doesn't understand is my anxiety, and realize I have to help myself.
After this encounter, I felt very irritated, frustrated and mad. Though I learned a lot from this instructor. The third encounter was more hostile and unprofessional on his part. He should be patient since I am a newbie driver. My brother suggested that I should the medication I had before (propanolol) to ease my anxiety. He said,"this is OK - don't worry about it! It will take more time to overcome your driver's anxiety or phobia.
I even wrote some goals to motivate myself why I wanted to learn to drive:
-to have the freedom to go wherever I want to go
- to commute to work and other places of interests
-to help my mom to do some grocery (shopping)
- to bring my family to parties and special events
-to overcome my driver's anxiety
- to be more independent
- to get a better paying job
so if you have any suggestions, it is much appreciated. Thank you.

I don't drive I have a huge fear too. I'm 22 and I do not have a drivers license thankfully I'm on bus routes and I use lyft when I'm running late for the bus.

Maybe you could go driving on the highway on Sunday early

I also have terrible driving anxiety! I never really wanted to get my license but my mom was insistent that I get it. However she was patient and worked with me slowly over time to where I got comfortable. I finally got my license at the age of 20. The scariest part for me is the highway as well, especially merging. I'm 24 now and I still get scared that I'm going to get hit. It's gotten worse since I got rear-ended two years ago, ever since then I keep a close eye on my rear view mirror. Living in a small town with only one highway was easy, I could just go through town. But now I live a very big city and it's been hell .. it doesn't help that I don't know the area either. But I agree with everyone else, exposure therapy does help. I used to have panic attacks at the thought of being behind the wheel of a car and now I just get nervous when I have to get on the highway. I'm not 100% sure that will ever go away but I have to keep trying.