[DonnaJL]

<font color="blue"> Hi
I feel that my anxiety has taken over my life. A little background, I'm twice divorced from abusive men, and now in a long term relationship with...guess what? an alcoholic.
I really didn't know he was addicted when we met and formed the relationship, I knew he drank but I'd have a drink too occasionally so I didn't wake up to the problem for a while. He is a wonderful guy when he's sober. Not so much when drinking. I left husband #2 to live with this man, I'd been legally sep. for a long time but still living with #2 as I couldn't afford to be on my own.
Now I am here 18 years, and recently lost my job so I am in a worse position to leave than I was before. I am torn between staying and going, as I do love this guy but I don't like him much of the time (for obvious reasons).
Losing my job was a major trauma as I had been there in a management position for 27 years, and when a new owner took over he fired me over the phone. I had been suffering from anxiety and moderate agoraphobic before the job ended and have been using xanax sparingly for a couple of years.
My elderly widowed mother thinks she is ill, although I've had her to numerous specialists who can find nothing wrong, but she acts like she's helpless and dying everyday and this is wearing heavily on my brother and I.
My adult daughter is currently living with us as she is between permanent positions, and my s/o rants about this when he's drinking so I am in the middle, where I also was during my marriage to #2 who was mentally abusive to her. I was seeing a therapist until I learned that my insurance didn't cover it, leaving me with a good sized balance, so I will have to curtail my visits with her until I find a job. I hope I will find others who share my anxiety and will be able to give me coping techniques for that and for dealing with an alcoholic partner. I tried Al Anon but am not comfortable with faith based organizations.
If you've stuck with me so far, thanks for reading </font>

[Perna]

I would get yourself and your daughter to a women's shelter of some kind and find what resources they have available and "start over". You have good skills for getting a good job and if you want to keep supporting your daughter then you should first get a job and apartment or place to stay with just yourselves and then the two of you go on from there. But I would get out from under as many problems that aren't "yours" -- your daughter should be solving her own problems and if you have taken your mother to specialists and they found nothing wrong, she can go for awhile without your immediate worry/attention until you get yourself sorted and/or your brother can take the brunt and you'll "pay him back" later when you're in a better place.

[DonnaJL]

You'd think I would have good skills, wouldn't you? But my occupation was kind of specific to the place that I worked and I'm 61 now, not a lot of people want to hire someone my age. I think it's a bit too late for me to start over...I'm looking forward to finishing up.
Even at my former position, I didn't make enough to live independantly as rents/cost of living is outrageous in this area.
I'd really like to stay here and I came to the forum hoping to learn some coping skills. I've never been good at cutting and running.
I'm between a rock and another rock. Gotta learn to cope.