Question that's bugging me to death.

Hi All,

I have real trouble communicating with some of my parts, especially the younger ones. Lots of times I've felt my safety depended on not letting on I was any different than others. I always put the clamps down on myself.

Can any of you help me by telling me some ways you help yourself communicate with different parts???

I feel like I spend too much time working against myself or working against my parts; I feel like I've spent so much time in counseling and I haven't gotten as far as I wish. I just gotta get on with it and I am so sick of how long its taking. GRRR!!! I'm such a GIMP! @$%$!

MadPixie!

GRRRRRR!!!!

how cum no kid parts get ta right in this place? we got feelings too, ya know? dont yu care what we think about stuff? i dont lik gronups to much. They dont care about me, why I should care about them??

umm, nobodee cars wat i think. i think plentee. i feel jus as much as yu do. dont i be important as anybodee? I'm a person too! I matter an nobodee luvs me; its so sad and i'm angree, too!!

(((((((((((( multipixie and all ))))))))))))

Mmm... I think your post shows that all of you needs to be able to have a voice.

And they do.

Hey there mad little pixie! You are VERY important! I know you have feelings and ideas that you want to talk about. I have a part named Kitten. She is 4 years old. She likes stuffed animals especially monkeys. She knows everything that goes on inside and she is very smart. I love her a lot. There are gown-ups who care a lot about little pixies!

***************************
I never was able to communicate with the really young alters, the ones under 4. Only my T got to know them at all. Lily was the watcher/keeper of them and my T worked with them through her a lot. They had to learn that what they kept replaying/flashing back to was over, it was in the far away time and they were now safe. They had to come to believe that the threats wouldn't really happen. (that was the most difficult) There was a huge spiritual aspect I won't go into as it might trigger others.

But I didn't have much to do with their healing. I knew they were there and was willing to allow them as many of my sessions as they needed. I learned it wasn't just me who needed t. In fact I could only make real headway once they found healing and integrated. Lily was a strong alter and kept them from surfacing outside of t.

I was in intensive t sometimes 4 hours a week for nine long years. I stopped fighting and accepted the process within the first six months so I didn't waste a whole lot of that time in denial or fighting the process. It was the traumatized alters who needed the t more than me and I allowed that happen. As long as they were traumatized I could not find any peace or healing for myself. It was all about them for a long, long time.

I encourage you to give permission for it to take as long as it takes. I never ask for patience but acceptance is the key for me. Accept the process, embrace it. It will lead to peace.

Judee

((((((((((((((((pixies))))))))))))))))

i love you all too ..... it's hard, specially if you don't really understand much about lil ones .... my lil one and a teen one are present, i only have a name for lil one ... tresh short for treasure, my dad used to call me that when i was very little.

teen one, scared of her, she's the one who gets me in trouble .... noone liked her much, she was rebellious and rude and cried out for help a lot .... dont havea name for her.

please know you are safe here and not alone ..... you have a voice you all have voices. ....

Jin xx

(((((((((((((( multipixie and all ))))))))))))))))

I'm not in a good place to speak right now, but I wanted to say I care.

Thanks to you all. I appreciate your kindness and acceptance. I do like coming here where we all know what DID is and nobody gets mad at us for being split. You were all so nice.

Thanks too "Want to heal" for writing even though you are not in a good place. I know what that can be like.

I went to counseling today and it was all about the littles who are blocked in behind a wall with some very bad stuff that they are afraid to look at. Adult me is trying to let go more and let them have what they need. I just get scared too sometimes - their feelings are SO intense.

Judee, You are right, its about acceptance. I've let so many rejecting messages in and then I've been mean to myself just like the abusers. I feel like a fire cracker tonight - I just want to BLOW!!!!!

i wanna bite sumbodee. i wanna hit sumbodee. grrrr. im not nice. i don wanna be nice i wanna be scary an meen. grrrrrrrrr. snap!

I don mean to be ungrateful, but nobody seems to have ideas to help me get along with the brats. they drive me crazy and i need help with them. if I dont watch out they'll have me rocking teddy bears and acting like a toddler. thats creepy. i dont like being split. i want to be the only one and nobody else. phooey!!!!!!!!

Leslie Leli and Leah and the pixies (grrrr)

I LIK U JUDEE. U ARE VERY NICE PERSON. U SEE ME! I TIRED OF INBISIBLE. I AM REEL!

MAD PIXIE