[sevisol]

I just came out of inpatient one week ago. Now on this Friday night, I am feeling like I am going to lose it again. For 11 days I have been writing 3 new gratitude's a day, 1 positive experience every 24 hours but it does not seem to be working. Is it my subconscious sabotaging me? I am in panic mode because I fear changing my thoughts to positive thoughts? Or do I need more individual help?

[mote.of.soul]

Hi sevisol. Good on you for trying to do positive things to help yourself, you deserve a medal. I don't know about sabotage or anything like that, it's just the mind, you're trying I can tell. Try to find calming things to do and try not to panic, it'll be okay. Yes, you probably need support of some sort. Keep reaching out here too, if you think it may help. Stay strong within yourself sevisol.

[Unrigged64072835]

As with any habit, it takes conscious effort for about 3 weeks (21 days or so) before there are results. Your brain isn't used to it yet.

Individual help would be good to learn some more coping skills.

[Skeezyks]

Well... I don't know what caused you to go in-patient to begin with. I've been in-patient twice. And I have to tell you those first few days, or even weeks, after coming back out, can be tough, to my way of thinking. Suddenly you're thrust back into the same environment that caused you to go in-patient to begin with.

In my case, I had nothing to do but think about the same things I was thinking about when I went IP. Plus I had to process the memories of what caused me to end up in the hospital to begin with along with those related to what I experienced while I was there.

The first time I came out of the hospital, after a couple of days sitting around staring at the walls, I decided to check out a partial hospital program. And I ended up going there for around 3 weeks as I recall. It wasn't necessarily wonderful. But it gave me somewhere to go, & something to do. And that was valuable.

You asked if you need more individual help. From my perspective, I think there are two answers to your question. The first is that, yes, more individual help (such as seeing a therapist, if you're not already doing so) would probably be beneficial. But, beyond that, I personally think it's important for you to find something to do during these initial days & weeks following your in-patient experience. A partial hospital program might be just the ticket if there is one you can get into. But, if not, then finding some other alternative is important, to my mind.

You also asked if your subconscious is sabotaging you. I don't really have the answer to that. But one thing I do at least think I know is that going in-patient is not a cure. It's just a temporary means of stabilizing you at a time when you, presumably, were not able to care for yourself. Whatever was going on with you before you went into the hospital is still likely going on with you now. So you need to figure out some way of continuing to work on it so that you can have the best chance of not ending up back in the hospital again. I wish you well...

[sevisol]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

Hi sevisol. Good on you for trying to do positive things to help yourself, you deserve a medal. I don't know about sabotage or anything like that, it's just the mind, you're trying I can tell. Try to find calming things to do and try not to panic, it'll be okay. Yes, you probably need support of some sort. Keep reaching out here too, if you think it may help. Stay strong within yourself sevisol.

Thank you for your vote of confidence. I do need more of a support system. All family lives 1,000+ miles away and I must stay here because of my minor child. Next goal try to get into a DBT program.

[sevisol]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

As with any habit, it takes conscious effort for about 3 weeks (21 days or so) before there are results. Your brain isn't used to it yet.

Individual help would be good to learn some more coping skills.

Thank you for your sage advice. Oh, boy I know, I am at day 13, I guess I expect more positive than SI thoughts but that has past and its a new day. I am going to continue to try and I am on a waiting list for DBT program.

[sevisol]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Well... I don't know what caused you to go in-patient to begin with. I've been in-patient twice. And I have to tell you those first few days, or even weeks, after coming back out, can be tough, to my way of thinking. Suddenly you're thrust back into the same environment that caused you to go in-patient to begin with.

In my case, I had nothing to do but think about the same things I was thinking about when I went IP. Plus I had to process the memories of what caused me to end up in the hospital to begin with along with those related to what I experienced while I was there.

The first time I came out of the hospital, after a couple of days sitting around staring at the walls, I decided to check out a partial hospital program. And I ended up going there for around 3 weeks as I recall. It wasn't necessarily wonderful. But it gave me somewhere to go, & something to do. And that was valuable.

You asked if you need more individual help. From my perspective, I think there are two answers to your question. The first is that, yes, more individual help (such as seeing a therapist, if you're not already doing so) would probably be beneficial. But, beyond that, I personally think it's important for you to find something to do during these initial days & weeks following your in-patient experience. A partial hospital program might be just the ticket if there is one you can get into. But, if not, then finding some other alternative is important, to my mind.

You also asked if your subconscious is sabotaging you. I don't really have the answer to that. But one thing I do at least think I know is that going in-patient is not a cure. It's just a temporary means of stabilizing you at a time when you, presumably, were not able to care for yourself. Whatever was going on with you before you went into the hospital is still likely going on with you now. So you need to figure out some way of continuing to work on it so that you can have the best chance of not ending up back in the hospital again. I wish you well...

Thank you. Yes inpatient is not a cure, its a tool. I just want to be able to have a more sufficient toolbox full of tools, that I can and will use and I still worry I will self-sabotage unconsciously. I am having a better day today so, I just keeping going. I see my therapist tomorrow.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by sevisol

Thank you for your vote of confidence. I do need more of a support system. All family lives 1,000+ miles away and I must stay here because of my minor child. Next goal try to get into a DBT program.

You're welcome. A DBT program sounds very promising. I need to create a support system myself but not quite sure how to go about it. But, yes - we'll get there.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by sevisol

Thank you for your sage advice. Oh, boy I know, I am at day 13, I guess I expect more positive than SI thoughts but that has past and its a new day. I am going to continue to try and I am on a waiting list for DBT program.

DBT is great for this. I did the program for about a year.

Keep working at it. Throw expectations out the window. It's a gradual process. Impatience will only make you frustrated.