Does anyone else feel that anxiety has made them...inarticulate?

I will start off by saying I am not sure whether this issue I have is a result of my anxiety for certain. In fact, I'm almost inclined to think it isn't an anxiety thing based on the the way it all began. At the same time, I can't deny that I have really bad anxiety and that it certainly can't be helping.

So anyway, almost 10 years ago, I started noticing that I would have trouble remembering words and putting together words into sentences even when I could remember them. It started out with randomly not being able to remember the name of something. The earliest example is when I was trying to text a friend that I wanted to use the elliptical machine at the gym after class, and I sat there staring at my phone because I couldn't remember the word elliptical. Then it got much worse, and I began struggling just to put sentences together. I could no longer throw together essays for my classes in a few hours. I had to begin them weeks in advance.

I went to a lot of doctors for this issue. I had MRIs and blood tests galore. They never found anything, so they told me it was anxiety. Maybe it was, but it was definitely bizarre that I had no issues with anxiety before I began experiencing this issue.

Over the many years of dealing with this issue, I have undoubtedly developed anxiety, though. I used to doubt whether I truly had an anxiety disorder, but there's no denying it now that I have extremely frequent panic attacks.

The thing about language difficulties is they affect every area of your life. Think about how many things you do require the ability to use words. Talking with friends. Scheduling appointments. Going to job interviews. Talking with customers at work. Typing on internet forums like this. Typing up a bio on a dating site. Writing a resume. So yeah, having difficulty with these things made me develop really bad social anxiety, which I believe then progressed to generalized anxiety. I became a recluse because being in public where I had to talk to people was embarrassing and exhausting. People think the reason I don't date is I'm a loser or a secret lesbian or something. The real reason I don't date is that dating requires a lot of talking, and talking is terrifying.

I'm sorry, I have rambled so far off from my original question. I guess I just want to say that it's hard to know how much of this is due to the anxiety I have and if it could actually all be anxiety. I know I engage in behaviors that definitely don't help because of my anxiety. For instance, I feel like I never really just listen to people when they talk or just read anything for the information conveyed anymore. Now I am constantly hyper-focused on the actual wording people use and thinking how amazed I am at how effortlessly they can just put their thoughts into words whereas I never would have been able to come up with those words. It's really hard to explain. One example is when I'm watching interviews. Someone will be asked a question and then just jump into a really eloquent, well-articulated answer, and I'll be sitting there thinking, "Gosh, I would just freeze and stammer if someone were to ask me that question right now because, even though I have thoughts on the topic, I literally cannot think of how I could put them into words." Then I get depressed and anxious over the fact that I could never give a public speech or do anything that requires me to be able to quickly answer people's questions like be a teacher or a politician. I've had full-out panic attacks because of doing this. It's an obsession. So given how hyper-focused I get on others' words, I do sometimes wonder if maybe this entire problem of mine is actually just rooted in anxiety and if it would go away if i could learn to just stop obsessing over the idea that I have lost my articulateness? I'm sorry if that makes no sense.

I know some people will see this post and say that I obviously don't have language difficulties because my post is mostly really coherent. It's honestly frustrating when people say things like that to me because here is the thing: this problem doesn't (or at least hasn't so far) affect my ability to know what a grammatically correct sentence sounds like. It's not that it causes me to sound like a stroke patient when I do manage to speak or write. It just causes me to have a lot of thoughts I never voice because I couldn't find the words or to take an insanely long time putting thoughts in writing. All you see is this end post, not the 3 hours it took me to write it or the 50 times I had to use thesaurus.com because I could remember a word kind of similar to the one I wanted to use but not the actual word or all of the mid-sentence pauses i had to take to figure out how to complete the sentence I was trying to say.

I'm sorry, this got 10x longer than I anticipated.
tl;dr:

The question I really wanted to ask was:

Does anyone have severe issues remembering words or putting their thoughts into words due to their anxiety? Has anyone found any relief with this issue through medication or therapy? I can't afford therapy, unfortunately, but maybe someday I can.

This is partly one of the ways my social anxiety manifests itself - thoughts or concepts I can write fluently*, suddenly become hard to express verbally. I find that the next word vaporizes en-route from brain to vocal cords, or that a sentence constructed on the fly, ends up going nowhere.Worse still, once you start to become self-conscious of doing this, you almost certainly condemn yourself to doing it, exactly when you least want to.

The weird thing is that whenever I hear or read something that's grammatically, or verbally suspect, my brain latches on to it like a terrier - I think that paying too much constant attention to grammatical structure & intended meaning can sometimes result in your losing the plot yourself...

*I don't usually have the same trouble with writing, though I may spend longer than most, looking for the right word, or way to put something down - since I typically have the luxury of time when writing, I don't get stressed about it.

The only way around it I've found so far, is to somehow extract myself from of the situation & gather my thoughts before trying again.

Oh gosh, my anxiety causes me to have a really difficult time with this. More with speaking than writing. I just feel like I can't put thoughts and sentences together. Half the time I just don't say anything or respond with very short answers. It frustrates me that other people can do it so easily!

I know severe depression causes me to organize my thoughts poorly and can't find words to save my life. Anxiety just makes me a bumbling idiot and makes my thoughts bounce around too much. And I have Asberger's which kills my social abilities. I did some house painting for a man in 1985 and I was an anxious wreck. He took one look at me and said "Get yourself together, man!" A nurse and resident in the hospital didn't like that I was anxious and yelled at me, refused to give me xanax and put me on a heavy anti-psychotic.

This is something I actually keep coming across a lot. I've spoken to a few other people who have said they have the same issue while speaking, but literally everyone has said they don't have the same issue while writing. If anything, speaking is a little bit easier for me because you can get away with breaking more "rules" or stumbling while speaking, whereas written text is generally expected to be a bit more polished.

Just so tired of dealing with all of this.

These days, with everyone attempting to express themselves in 140 character tweets, I'm not so sure that the written word carries the same gravitas that it once did.

That said, with me at least, it's a matter of how much time I perceive that I have available to craft whatever it is that I wish to convey. With something written, especially on a computer, I can adapt & redraft my writing until I'm satisfied with it, whereas speaking is more socially interactive with less time to prepare. Sometimes that immediacy works in your favor, since any time to become anxious about preparing your narrative is removed - it sounds like your anxiety relates more to the preparation, than to the live delivery aspect of things.

I may be attempting to show grandma how to suck eggs here, but when I'm writing something relatively complex, I often jot down the general ideas/concepts before attempting to build prose - that way I don't get too heavily involved with word choice or grammar, before I've sketched out how I want to run with it.

It might still be worth having a chat with your doctor, just to see if what you describe happens to fit some specific neurological symptom that they may be aware of (that they weren't aware of when you did your earlier tests).

Im inarticulate in any case- I write much more clearly than I speak.

But yes, the word jumble is even worse when Im anxious- probably because anxiety also sort of zaps confidence

i have absolutely no issue writing & I'm actually more open than i should be when typing to complete strangers whom I've got no chance of ever meeting. i consider myself a writer at heart. however, on social media i have trouble posting anything at all. which i think is because i fear vulnerability to my ego & NY reputation in the minds of people i grew up with on my friendslist. i almost never post even the most innocuous personal thought or opinion. i have less trouble posting other's content that represents something i relate to but even that is hard for me. it's as if i like my social media 'pristine' in that, nothing i post can make me look any negative way.

in person, i don't talk. i can't easily talk. when i do, everything seems to go wonky. i put little thought into what I'm going to say. my mind goes blank. & i obsess over the insane empty alertness. my heart beats faster. sweat. and when i manage to choke out a sentence or a line of thought, my face BURNS red with embarrassment, my heart pounds, etc. i often get very tired but at the same time, extremely alert & empty headed.

i can never seem to find middle ground. & i've been like this for many many years when confronted with conversation, even with my siblings. even when i had a group of friends.

Add me to your lists of this happening to people here. I couldn't answer a question if my life depended on it sometimes. I need to read info first, then i can figure out something to say back, but it wouldn't be polished. I had a friend that was very verbal and for some reason{she was in my religion class in high school}, she always said what I was thinking. exact words too. There, I didn't have to worry because she would always take the floor first before i would be able to ramble some words off. She recently passed away, i havn't seen her in years and i found myself alone a bit without her input. I notice sometimes when Im on the go out with people i tend to listen to people first, without talking, then I'll try to add some type of story and i'll get all flaergasted and have to stop in the middle of the story, im not a story teller but found out that some people like my one liners i forced myself to do, and i think they are funny and alot of people call me the comedian.

i think a lot of us with anxiety are extremely rich in intelligence, in empathy & concern for others, and we're knowledgeable. and we've got great personality & individuality too... but, each of us has something/things that keep us from expressing ourselves when we have to. whether it's this reason or that reason isn't important here... i know y'all are full, good people.

Yeah I feel like that. When I get anxious talking to people I use poor or incorrect grammar or say things that just don’t make sense or sound odd. Then I stress about it for hours. It usually happens at work.

The worst thing happened when of my managers asked if I could do something. I got really anxious slightly spaced out and said “I will?” In a confused tone. It made no sense because I had no issue with what she was telling me to do. It was just random word vomit. Both of the people I was talking to gave me a confused look. I beat myself up for the rest of my shift because of it.

I am more likely to get stuck, not lose my thought but rather just go into my head instead of verbal expression, and then end up appearing like I am just staring off into space. Not good at work.