Anxiety Daily Check-In point #6

yesterday I spent the entire night sitting by the open window wondering if their was going to be a fire

I heard someone say the word fire, and all night I thought one was going to happen (I didn't ask what they meant by it)

it didn't happen though which was a good thing

today I was slightly concerned because my bathroom floor was rather wet, turned out however it was just the shower dripping- not the flood I thought was happening

I am waiting to here back from someone.

tomorrow she wants to take me bowling (I don't particularly want to go bowling), the problem is anyway that to go bowling, you need to wear socks

and since I don't have any, I am waiting to here if she's found some

and I have never worn socks in my life

even if I do end up going bowling it will be fritening for me to wear socks

I dunno what they are (or I do, just don't know what they'd feel like on me)

My anxiety is pretty bad today. I had 10oz of hot coffee and then a Mountain Dew. The coffee is also causing bad heartburn that isn’t going away with antacids. It feels like I'm going to throw up and also like I have an ulcer.

I haven't checked in for a while. I suppose I should get in the habit of doing so when times are good not just bad.

I have concerns about my father's health (80yrs). He informed me days ago he was of ill health but that his problems (too long to describe) are treatable. Despite that though I have been given thought to my dad's mortality. These are not pleasant thoughts to have; basically, what do we do when the end comes? Ghastly thoughts but thoughts that are needed all the same.

I knew he had an appointment scheduled for this afternoon.

I just tried calling him and could not make contact. So I called his girlfriend and she said they were at the hospital, and in rather cryptic fashion said, "they were where they needed to be." She then said she'd call me once they found out what was going on. Click - and there was no opportunity to ask her just what she meant. Now, this could all be perfectly simple. Perhaps Dad is there for another appointment I was not aware of, but my mind is leaping to more concerning conclusions.

So here I sit in a bit of a worried panic mulling over the implications of what she said.

Guilty! I am sure we have all done this.

Take care around those bees.

I am still getting mixed messages. Yes, it turned out after all that he had an additional appointment booked at the hospital I had not been made aware of. Speaking to his girlfriend she suggested all was well and he was on the mend. Yet, when I asked about my driving up for a visit (3hrs away) she backtracked and made excuses why I shouldn't. So I came right out and asked and she then said he was weak and tired. But you just said he was doing quite well. Just what is the truth?

Dad called me this morning and informed me he was not in good shape when he went to the hospital but would not tell me his symptoms. But then he goes on to tell me the specialist said everything was good.

So I have made that stupid mistake of googling hyperthyroid conditions in older men. Why oh why would I do such a thing. I know better [I swear Google will diagnose a man pregnant from a store big toe].

That has then only added to my suspicions not all they are telling me is on the up and up. Being banned from driving rather tells me they are not being entirely truthful.

My H and I easily upset each other. Still having mini panic attacks as a result of a family counseling session that upset him. Taking all my meds and won't stop. At least when I am on them all, I don't upset him and he upsets me less.

Yesterday I found a dime size lump on the left side of my neck. I didn’t think much of it but today it’s still there and now It hurts. I also have a sore on my arm and I’m starting to get some on my face which my mom commented on. I’m kind of anxious about all this. I haven’t switched soaps or anything like that.

Had a recent first date and was nervous, felt self conscious and although most of the conversation went well for part of it my anxiety increased and felt as though I was stammering and then felt uncomfortable since I might have appeared nervous. Then I wore a headband and wish I would have gone out with him after my hair appointment Friday then my hair would have looked better. Oh dating, it’s rubbish. Enjoy meeting and talking to guys in a more casual atmosphere that is not a date.

HIght anxiety today. I don't want to leave the house, I am so afraid of another panic attack that I am just don't go out. I have to break this vicious circle.

I leave the house today. I did it! Now is all about to keep going outside. I don't know yet how I am going to make it. But I have a strong willingness to do so.

@hope2010 good for you for getting out!

I accidentally broke something at work that was $100. It totally wasn’t my fault though. It was whoever packaged it. It was packaged very poorly, and wasn’t even in a box. We have protocols for broken items so I didn’t have to inform anyone I broke it. If they ask who did it I’ll be honest with them and tell them it was me but then I’ll explain it was packaged poorly and I was opening it carefully. Someone broke something that was $200 and then lied when asked about it. So I think I’ll be ok. I’m just nervous.

It was this big heavy rock on a flimsy stand. Like, how is this heavy rock supposed to be supported on the stand anyways?

I grind my teeth so hard at night that I cracked a tooth straight through. We tried to save it (at considerable expense) but it just can’t be done. It’s the last tooth on my lower jaw so it won’t be visible but I’ll know. I’m apprehensive about this procedure tomorrow. My next purchase will be a custom made night guard to prevent this from happening again.

I wish I didn’t get so anxious about medical and dental procedures. I’m doing pretty good aside from the nervousness.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Tired of feeling so tense. I managed to have some calm weeks earlier this year and wish it would have continued. I have to let go of this tension. It doesn't even have a purpose anymore.

Hugs to all of you.

The same thing happened to me. I grind my teeth so hard that I cracked a tooth a little. Still, I have to go to the dentist next week to fix it. I am so afraid to drive to the office but I will have to push myself and drive over there. I am to get very anxious in dentist appointments. Hugs

I feel completely and entirely alone in this.

In the past I’ve tried yoga and meditation and it helped relax me. Or could try relaxation tapes. In the past I’ve gone YouTube and there are meditation videos. Sorry you are feeling tense. Sometimes exercise such as running or walking fast for 15-30 minutes can be relaxing. Get better soon!

Thank you, zapatoes. I forget I can care for my anxiety with mediation and the other great ideas you mentioned. In the moment, it feels like it controls us and I guess it is easy to forget we can try to get that control back. .

I have legit medical issues going on that are causing a lot of anxiety for me. I just came back from my doctor and took 2 Xanax. I usually just take one a day.

I had a great deal of anxiety yesterday over being late. I should start a thread on this. It triggers all kinds of anxiety namely worry over what people will think of me.

today someone wrote a comment on a website

" I can imagine you have a pretty good emagination to think up those ideas"

just after i'd explained to someone about my diagnoses

can't help thinking her comment was trying to invalidate me

I searched through the entire topic, but couldn't find anything else she could be refering to

so I wrote back- what do you mean about imagination?

(not on this site)

I'm too sensitive. it's my downfall

I can’t tell if I have sepsis or some other thing or god awful anxiety. Two Xanax and it’s not taken care of though. My neck is so so swollen and I keep taking these deep breaths like I’m having trouble breathing. I don’t know what to do. I guess take a 3rd Xanax?

Your anxiety is telling you to investigate further and treat the swollen neck. As long as it is swollen and not being properly diagnosed and treated, the Xanax will only help so much. Sorry that the doctor makes you anxious but so does the problem with your neck. Has the doctor figured out why your neck is swollen?

I have anxiety right now because I feel like I acted weird even though the person I was talking to didn’t react badly. He was actually super nice. I had rehearsed what I was going to say before I said it. I said exactly what I had planned on saying. I had to talk to a manager about my vacation and taking time off.

Does anyone get like this where they feel like they acted weird in a conversation when they probably didn’t?