[Butterfly_Faerie]

My Psychiarist didn't push the issue of the job today at the session, she believes that my stomache problems could be related to anxiety.
The fact that I'm being pushed to work and the anxiety is becoming too much to the point where it is stopping me. The reminders of not working or the schooling isn't helping, and she thinks once that stops then the anxiety for jobs will start to go away knowing that I can look for a job when I'm ready.

Does that make sense? She said once I build up my self esteem and confidence then that will make it easier. This pushing is putting me in a negative spot and I have to focus now on what helps me out.....

[censored] I cannot remember how she put it now i'm kicking myself in the *** for not writting it down...

A job for me is a means to and end ... I don't care about "careers" I don't need that to keep me happy, money is not important to me. When I get a job it'll be for extra money, and that's it pretty much. A job is not who I as a person....yes it's a job that would provide me with money, yes it's a goal to not have to be anxious.

Does that make sense? A job doesn't make a person, usually..... so this is what we came to as a conclusion.

I have no idea if anyone will know what this means, but this is what happened.

I'm feeling lost for words right now and don't know what else to say... ARGH, might have to call her backa and ask her again.

It has to do with values ect, what I value most and it's not a job, even though it's nice to have money, but does anyone know where I'm going with this?

[shakes]

Some people have a big desire to want to have a career, but some people don't. So do not stress about your desire to just have a job and not a careerlife. Things will fall into place for you and your search for work. I know!

Jessica

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I know that it will happen, just not now. I know I'll get there in due time. I'm just not going to push myself and feel that I need to do stuff for other people. It's got to be for me.

No one should pressure me to do something like that.... I know I will get there, and that's all that matters.

[partlycloudy]

Hi, sundance (what a lovely name!) I have suffered from job anxiety for at least 10 years. It got into a pattern where I would get to the six-month mark in a job and convince myself I'd be fired and I'd get panic attacks and anxiety that would prevent me from being able to do my job - self fullfilling prophecy, you know? I've had a couple of bad experiences working for small family businesses, working in extremely stressful jobs, and I would last between and year and 2 years in each job.

I am just fininshing EMDR therapy for my anxiety and panic, and we addressed this issue one session. Long story short (and if you're interested, I will give you the long version), I had a mental "conversation" with a long-dead pet cat whom I loved so very much. She told me in cat speak that she wished her human would take the same pride in being good at being human as she did being a cat. That she knew she was a good mouser and kept her coat clean and shiney, and wanted me to take the same pride in my abilities. When I was able to stop doubting myself, the anxiety really did *vanish*.

I'm just saying what worked for me. I too went from thinking I had to be a career woman to downgradaing my job every time I'd change, thinking I wouldn't get the same stress and anxiety, only to find that I could create it at ANY level of job skill. I really am my worst enemy.

Do you know that you are good at what you do?
Do you really believe that you are good at it?
If no one patted you on the back, could you still believe it?

...just some thoughts.
take care,
pc.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I know i'm good at sales, retail. That's all I really know how to do.

I know i'm good that that, I'm also good with animals, but i've tried to find jobs relating to that and haven't gotten anything.

My anxiety is situational, it's pretty much under control.
There is job anxiety, I did have a bad time in jobs, one that I loved I got blamed for loosing a cheque and I didn't she accused me of giving it back to the customer and she fired me. I stuck it out for the rest of the night but I was devastated. I knew the cheque was there, but I didn't process it as that because we had so much trouble with my registers, but I knew it was there...

I also loved another job I had at a health club, did housekeeping there but I loved it. It was only part time but I still had alot of hours...but I was sexually assaulted and harrassed by 3 guys and ended up quitting.

I know I will get a job again, I can't be pressured to do it though because that is causing more anxiety, in the past I applied for alot of jobs, even though I rarely got interview with the jobs that I did send out at least I knew I could. Without the pressures.... so I know i'll get a job again, it's not like I've never had one, but the pressures of it is too much. The constant reminders of what I don't have, what I haven't done yet etc.

Thats the issue right now.

[Wants2Fly]

I've just joined this thread. What is EMDR.

Early in life, I was more confident of pleasing employers and my abilities. Then I got worn out by the work world, cared less. And the anxiety set in. Americans are working more and more hours, for less and less job stability and benefits. I remember when I was growing up, there actually was talk of a 4-day work week. hahahahahaha

[Butterfly_Faerie]

<font color="blue"> CBT- is Cognitive behavior therapy is a clinically and research proven breakthrough in mental health care. Hundreds of studies by research psychologists and psychiatrists make it clear why CBT has become the preferred treatment for conditions such as these . . .

Depression and mood swings
Shyness and social anxiety
Panic attacks and phobias
Obsessions and compulsions (OCD and related conditions)
Chronic anxiety or worry
Post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSD and related conditions)
Eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) and obesity
Insomnia and other sleep problems
Difficulty establishing or staying in relationships
Problems with marriage or other relationships you're already in
Job, career or school difficulties
Feeling “stressed out”
Insufficient self-esteem accepting or respecting yourself)
Inadequate coping skills, or ill-chosen methods of coping
Passivity, procrastination and “passive aggression”
Substance abuse, co-dependency and “enabling”
Trouble keeping feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, eagerness, excitement, etc., within bounds
Over-inhibition of feelings or expression
Just what is CBT? How does it work?
Cognitive behavior therapy* combines two very effective kinds of psychotherapy — cognitive therapy and behavior therapy.

Behavior therapy helps you weaken the connections between troublesome situations and your habitual reactions to them. Reactions such as fear, depression or rage, and self-defeating or self-damaging behavior. It also teaches you how to calm your mind and body, so you can feel better, think more clearly, and make better decisions.

Cognitive therapy teaches you how certain thinking patterns are causing your symptoms — by giving you a distorted picture of what's going on in your life, and making you feel anxious, depressed or angry for no good reason, or provoking you into ill-chosen actions.

When combined into CBT, behavior therapy and cognitive therapy provide you with very powerful tools for stopping your symptoms and getting your life on a more satisfying track. </font>

I'm not out to please employers, i'm out to do it on my own, to not have to be pressured to do it that is causing all my anxiety right now. When I wasn't pushed or pressured I was applying for jobs.

I wish there was a four day work week.

[wisewoman]

Sundance, it strikes me that you are actually speaking about 2 things, right livlehood and the way we attach our worth to our jobs. My identity is so tied up in my work it's scarey. I know it is a big therapy issue. I have major financial concerns as it is never mind if i lost my job of over 15 years. I think you are on the right track with your thinking and are in a place to make real healthy decisions for yourself. I am not sure that is how I got where I am. You go with your gut girl and it won't fail you. If you end up working with animals you have to promise to tell me all of the stories because my critters are one of my few sources of true joy. You are solid girl, stick to it.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Thank you Wisewoman, that was a really nice thing to say, I have been feeling down and that post made me smile, it was really postive and directed at me.

Now only if my BF saw it that way.

Anywho- I know that I will find a job, work and making money just to make it. Careers for me aren't important. I don't have to worry about bill except a visa. So why get so stressed out over it?

The pressures were just too much, my bf didn't understand by constantly reminding me what I didn't do or don't have was pushing me further into the pit of blocking and avoidance, too me that wasn't right.

I know I will get there, I have no doubt that I will, but it's just going to take longer .....I'll work again.....Got to work on me first I think. Building up my self confidence and self esteem is the most important thing, once that is up I know I can go out there and get a job that I desire.

Thanks girl. (((wisewoman)) You life up to your name...