[Choloe]

I have a big, big, big "Fear Of Failing"...I really need to get over this because I don't get it right now... This includes goals and so on...Has anyone ever gone through this before?

[ECHOES]

It is a common fear. Some have fear of success. And either one can keep a person stuck.

It's a "what happens next" fear. That is, if I fail, then________ .. you fill in the blank for yourself, see what's there.

We truly fail all the time. We try, and sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. We learn what we can and go on, having failed in one respect, but having gained in another because we have learned and grown.

[AAAAA]

This might not be the best answer in the world, but I look at it like this, what is the WORST thing that can possibly happen? If I can deal with that, what actually does happen is just gravy.

[Choloe]

I see AAAAA'S...What's the worst that can happen?

[splitimage]

Fear of failing is pretty common. I too do the worst case scenario in my head when I'm afraid of trying something new, I play out the absolute worst things that can happen, I often write them down, and then I try to think of the probabilities of it actually happening and how I'd deal with it, if it did happen. It makes the fears more manageable. The thing to remember to is, that even if you do fail at something, you can always try again, start over, and you've learned something valuable from the experience.

Fear of failure was one of the things that kept me from dealing with my drinking problem sooner than I should have, but I've learned that if I have a relapse, then the important thing is for me to stop and talk to people about it, and get back on the program and start over.

Don't let fear of failure hold you back, because you'll miss out on a lot of great opportunities.

---splitimage

[ECHOES]

But the worst thing is not the most likely thing that will happen. Any of us could get in a car wreck and be killed, but that isn't likely to happen.

Someone (Edison?) said that failure is simply learning one way of doing something that doesn't work.

What specifically do you see happening?

Or is it that putting yourself out there to try is very frightening so fearing failure works for you by telling you it's to frightening or risky to try. That's hard to deal with because it can get in the way of your goals and dreams and passions. I don't know that this is even close to what you experience, but just an example.

If you aren't in psychotherapy, you might want to consider doing that to explore your personal fears about failure so you can live free of the fears and do all you want to do.