[hopestheory]

i seriously think i'm at my breaking point with these obsurd thoughts that i so conviently decide to obsess over. its the ocd i know this stuff never happened. but i worry about last friday i went with my father in law to help pick out presents for my mother in law. and i'm so worried that i did something bad that i don't remember like maybe i tried to sleep with him or i did and just don't remember. wtf now come on i can honestly look at this and tell myself its crazy and that it didn't happend but i can't get it out of my head. just like i worry about after my fiance leaves in the morning, when i fall back asleep i have this crazy obsession that i sleep walk and randomly have sex with my other roomates. again i know this doens't happen seeing as we all sleep with our doors locked but i still freak out about it. it drives me crazy i hate it and don't want to dwell on things like this anymore b/c it freaks me out. wierd thoughts and wierd i mean really wierd dreams i hate it. sometimes my zoloft works but most of the time (like now) i feel like its nothing more than a fricken sugar pill.
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
does anybody else ever feel like this or think wierd things like this i'd really like to know that i'm not the only one.

-nicole!

[wisewoman]

Hopes, you will get better. I wonder if you would benefit from contacting the oc foundation in Connecticut. Also the NIMH. to see if they have done research on ocd and hormones. This is just your brain getting the wrong information. It is a chemical thing and it will get better.

[allautumn]

Hah, yes. I have days where I think about stuff like that obsessively, and it's torturous. I'm looking in people's eyes to find out if they know something about me that I don't know, did I do something or say something I don't remember doing, and they all know? I'm judging all their reactions to see if they are all keeping a secret about me. The inappropriate sexual undercurrent is familiar as well, I think it's some kind of inherent fear of embarassment... like dreams where you're pants are off in a public place... this is really wierd, I've never heard anyone else talk about this before. It's like a sudden cringing, goose-pimply moment where you're like, wait a minute, did something happen, and you sort of panic. I don't have these thoughts as often any more, but I have had them in the past. I don't have ocd, but I know where you're coming from. Wow, thanks for being so honest about this stuff. It's always cool to find out you're not the only one.