[need2bhappy]

Hello,
I'm new to this site and I'm basically looking for a support group, or just to seek advice and talk with people who acutally understand me. I recently went to the DR and was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety/depression and OCD. I can't pinpoint one thing it's many! Basically my fear and anxiety have become obsessive, which leads me to such low depression I often feel there's no way out. Nobody understands except my therapist who cannot be there all the time, I need to toughen up and get thru this.

I have driven away many poeple I care about because I accuse them of things that I have basically created in my mind and for whatever reason can't get rid of the thoughts. I have accused a few of boyfriends of cheating on me with my friends, even though I logically know it didnt' happen, they barely know eachother and the thought comes from no where! A story I hear about someone else's life, a dream and fear. I create this and therefore I ruin my realtionships by constant questioning which drives people away of course. People say if you know your doing it then stop! If it were that easy to erase these thoughts from my head and get over it I would.

I realize this sounds so stupid. Now all my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still going thru many relationships. I get to a point at about 8 or 9 months where I just feel weak. I know they control my heart and I let me fear of what could happen destroy me and my happiness.

Currently I've been dating someone great for 9 months, the past 2 have been hard though my anxiety has set in and I'm afraid he sneaks into my roomates room when I'm sleeping. I have no reason to think this, no signs I've never woken up and he's been gone he's barely here and he barely knows her. She's a good friend of mine and woulnd't do this she has a serious boyfriend who she loves and he I don't think he wouldn do this. Where does this come from, I'm losing him if I havent' lost him already becuase of the accusations that come from nowhere!

I'm embarassed, and sad and alone because I realize I"M DOING THIS TO MYSELF! I ruin everything I'm so depressed and lost. No one understands I can't afford to see my therapist more than once every 2 weeks, please help me is there someone else out there that gets what I'm doing?

[gimmeice]

Hello need2bhappy, it's nice to meet you. I understand what you are talking about these kind of thoughts have haunted me for quiet some time now. Please remember that they are just thoughts, just because you think it doesn't make it so, my way of coping is not to make accusations which has been a big struggle for me. I have been married for 11 years and this has come up for me several times, I have always been able to resist actually accusing him of anything but it still has it's effect. I have shared how I am feeling with him and been pretty open about the feelings and he has been very supportive of me when I am struggling.
I think that you have found the right place, this is a very supportive online community with a lot of nice people as members. If you have any questions or need anything at all feel free to pm me or any of the other community liaisons or moderators. Take your time and check out all our features and jump in whenever you feel comfortable.

[jaeyw]

Hey,

I agree with Gimme-Ice. You are not alone in this, there are plenty of us with the anxiety/depression issues.

The thoughts you have about your boyfriend are familiar to me, I think back to some of the things I have accused girlfriends of and I feel like an ***.

If this boyfriend cares about you then you should be honest about your thoughts and how irrational they are, if he loves you then he will stick with you. If not then move on and find someone else (not sure if anyone has ever dated from this site, but you never know).

Hopefully the zoloft helps. Take care.

J

[e_sort]

hi there,

I have OCD too. you sound just like me. being paralyzed by obsessive fears, stuff that comes from nowhere, that you know intellectually are nonsense but you can't stop thinking about it. mine weren't related to relationships, but more often really implausible situations where an animal or someone i loved would get hurt. you lie there in bed thing "this is totally insane" but of course it's not 100% impossible, so you feel you have to think about it. It's incredibly depressing to live this way.

before my medication started working (prozac) my therapist used to remind me to tell myself "it's not you, it's your brain". on the one hand it's not super helpful because you ARE your brain, but just like your knees or something might malfunction a little, your brain can malfunction a little too, get into these loops. just acknowledge to yourself and others that you know these things are irrational, you're not psychotic, it is a genuine biochemical problem and eventually it will resolve. it might take a while and you might have to try different meds, but you are far from the only person who has ever had this problem, and it's not an impossible thing to fix.

the prozac has really helped me and though all my OCD issues haven't gone away, i no longer have these obsessive episodes and i am finding my life a lot easier now. i hope this helps. please feel free to pm me or post on the OCD forum.

[Cthomas]

Welcome to PC! We are here to help. I have ocd and have accused many friends/husband of the same things. but the others are right, they are only thoughts.

You can do this. stick around. post often,

Take care,

Colleen

[need2bhappy]

It's nice just to hear some replys and no there are poeple who are going thru what I am going thru or have gone thru it and have gotten past it. I'm new to this so what does pm'ing?

Also does it sound like a mixture of OCD and anxiety or just anxiety?

[multipixie9]

hi going2be happy and welcome to pc.com. i do not share the same exact problem but i do have some wild thoughts that can bother me occasionally and make me miserable.

i have one idea that you may want to try. something you could do between visits to your therapist.

cognitive dissonance is fancy psych speak for lies in our thoughts that create pain and problems for us. what you go through is definitely c.d. there are books and information online about how to handle this problem of haunting lies that torment. i don't know an exact place to steer you, but you can learn how to retrain your mind. you can learn to challenge the incorrect information and require your mind to tell the truth to you. it will a genuine help to you and the more you learn how to do it the more it can help you counteract the lies and put the truth in its place!

I do sympathize but to one extent or another we ALL have to learn how to deal with the lies in our thoughts. for you this is just harder than for some other people - but NOT impossible!!! Hang in there, it IS going to get better!

leslie and the pixies

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( need2bhappy )))))))))))))))))))

PMing means private message, kind of like an email to someone on this site. There are several ways to send a pm, the way I do it is to click on the members name which will take you to their profile, if you click on the tab that says contact info an option to private message the member should be there as long as they are excepting pms. Sorry if I am not explaining that well.

We can't really diagnose you but it does sound like something that you should look into, I have ocd and anxiety and I really relate to your post so that is what it sounds like to me but I am not a doctor and diagnosing is a complicated process.

[e_sort]

Originally Posted by need2bhappy

It's nice just to hear some replys and no there are poeple who are going thru what I am going thru or have gone thru it and have gotten past it. I'm new to this so what does pm'ing?

Also does it sound like a mixture of OCD and anxiety or just anxiety?

Well, it sounds like me, and I was diagnosed with OCD, but that's about as far as anyone here can tell you probably.

As I understand it OCD is an anxiety disorder. Here's a link that says so, anyway, as well as a bunch of symptoms that may as well have my name at the top.

http://www.adaa.org/gettingHelp/Anxi...orders/OCD.asp

In my experience stress makes it worse. I've been like this for a while but I only really started flipping out this year when my life took some stressful turns.

Sorry about the pm'ing thing it's not like I am hip to all the lingo either.