[Zen888]

I like to establish this thread for myself and others who are going through similar difficulties managing stress and anxiety in my/their lives.

I'll start...........

I need to know how to stop taking sedative medication when I am stressed out, anxious, or panic state. My thoughts are racing and cant ground myself long enough to do logical safe relaxation techniques. Does anyone have a couple of strategies on how to change and cope better?

Zen888

[lifelesstraveled]

Hi Zen,

Have you tried practicing mindfulness meditation? Also my T suggested when my mind starts going and gets crowded and my I started getting heart palps and have trouble breathing to do some deep breathing. She said that when you deep breathe, it will slow everything down in your system. She said that will slow your heart and eventually also slow your brain down. She told me it's proven technique. It has worked for me but its so hard to stay disciplined enough to do it.

[lifelesstraveled]

I also have poor techniques when it come to managing my stress and anxiety. It started so young.... 5 or 6 and the "skills" have changed over the years. Right now I will take anything that will sedate me...even benadryl, I drink and exercise A LOT. T is teaching me new techniques,like the ones I listed in the post above.

[Aunt Donna]

I can relate. When I get stressed, like today, I will take anything to try to sedate me. Benadryl doesn't faze me though. The doctor has prescribed me medication and my husband and mother monitor my dosage just in case. I try to think of something positive which can be hard when you are panicing and your heart is racing. The breathing technique works, but when you are extremely stressed it seems that you follow with the panic. Do you ever get so stressed you start crying? I do and I am having one of those nights. I have already taken a xanax and a muscle relaxer. I am having a muscle pain from an old injury to my arm.

[madisgram]

great thread!!!!
i wonder if anyone gets tired of my major "cure-all" for depression or anxiety but here goes, zen, exercise. your mind can't race if you focus on the exercise. if you can go out, take a brisk walk, jumping jacks in place, etc.
if you're prohibited from exercise, try doing a cross-word puzzle or regular puzzle or some form of mind distraction. once again it gives your mind a rest and that's what it needs.
a lot of people might say, well that's not relaxing ,but it is cause what you want to relax is your racing brain.
warm bath... and warm milk...has a natural relaxing chemical in it.
can u get comfy, close your eyes, and focus just on breathing deeper breaths? if you get distracted, acknowledge it, and then refocus on your breathing.
i hope that these suggestions may help...i'm doing all the above myself today...little anxiety going on too.

[Zen888]

What about paranoid thoughts that won't go away?

[Aunt Donna]

Originally Posted by Zen888

What about paranoid thoughts that won't go away?

You, too? I just want them to move on out of my mind and not leave a forwarding address.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Zen888

What about paranoid thoughts that won't go away?

r u comfortable sharing an example of "paranoid thoughts"?

[Zen888]

Some of my paranoid thoughts include:

> Everyone hates me and thinks I am a worthless human being.
> I'll never get married or have kids.
> That I will never have alot of friends...close close friends
> That I am fat and ugly...old and washed up
> My brother hates me and doesnt care about me

List goes on forever...........

[madisgram]

sorry now i remember a previous post where u explained this. anyway thanks for clarifying again. i had so many of the same feelings you are experiencing when i first started therapy. lots of old, incorrect "tapes", i call them. not factual, but feelings i had about myself. it is painful to feel so down on yourself so i understand why this is stressful.
one thing you can do is bring this up in therapy so your T can cipher out with you what is really you and how you can perceive your future too.. jme, but this incorrect info about how i perceived myself caused a lot of depression too.
interesting that you mentioned your brother. my brother hasn't really liked me i don't think since the day is was born...that was some time ago i'm 20 months younger than him. he's the oldest sibling. the only thing i can wrap my head around is that he percieved me as a threat to all the attention he got as the first child. so these many years later it continues. i have younger sisters who he doesn't feel negatively about. in therapy i learned that i can't change his mode of thinking but i don't have to believehis way of thinking about me either. that helped me a lot cause he made me feel less-than. he still ignores me but that's on him. he'll never know how much i wish we were "friends" and loving to each other. it's his loss not mine. for so long i felt so hurt by his attitude towards me...i wanted him to like me...then i found acceptance that this wasn't about me but about him.
ok too long a post...but i hope there is something here that may help you. i know you are struggling and i'm glad you posted about this. we can all learn from each other. you may feel those thiings about yourself but i don't think of you that way at all. feelings are not facts. hope that little ditty helps you as it did me.

[Zen888]

How do you get over the pain and hurt of your brother not liking you? My brother is upset because I have been hospitalized alot and he has been the one to take care of everything, he said he cant handle my mood swings, and he told me that I have borderline personality disorder (my brother isnt a doctor), and he said among other things that he needs his distance from me, he doesnt miss me, and that i have messed up the last 12 years of his life.

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Zen888

How do you get over the pain and hurt of your brother not liking you? My brother is upset because I have been hospitalized alot and he has been the one to take care of everything, he said he cant handle my mood swings, and he told me that I have borderline personality disorder (my brother isnt a doctor), and he said among other things that he needs his distance from me, he doesnt miss me, and that i have messed up the last 12 years of his life.

it wasn't the easiest thing to get over. our parents taught us to always be there for each other. so his obvious contempt hurt me so much. i used to try to engage in conversation with him. he'd even ignore my speaking directly to him.
in therapy i learned that i didn't have to choose to accept his contempt for me. i had done nothing to deserve this. his "message" that i wasn't of worth or value had made me have a false belief about myself. my therapist pointed out that i had a wealth of friends that wouldn't care for me if i was truly the "bad" person my brother portrayed of me. if i was i would be exiled from others. so he explained to me that just because my brother felt the way he did about me, didn't make it the truth.
in your case your brother is blaming you for things beyond your control. instead of coming to a resolution about this it's easier for him to blame you for things he can't control. it's the "blame game" and gets him nowhere. you certainly didn't ask for your dx when you were born. nobody does. it sounds like to me that your brother is selfish. i'm sure if the table was turned you would be there and be supportive of him. do you see where his behavior is unkind and selfish?? you are his sister, not a stranger.
in your case i'd suggest the same my T told me..."how do u stay healthy in an unhealthy relationship?" distance. you can avoid as much conversation with him as possible. you do not have to validate your actions to him. he will not acnowledge any validation you give. i wanted to expect that if i explained myself (validate) my brother would understand. he chooses to be incapable of doing this so it's a waste of my time.
yes, it still hurts to not have a loving realtionshiip with the only brother i have. what i do know now is i am not able to change him in any way. his beliefs are not founded on fact. i had to learn to accept those things and "let it go".i don't expect him to be nice to me, i don't expect him to show kindness to me, etc. by not expecting what he can't give me i am freed from his false beliefs about me. i have learned i am of value and worth to others. a lot of ppl validate that fact about myself.
so the person with the problem is my brother. he loses out on having a relationship with someone who loves him very much. i just don't like him very much. and that's ok that i feel that way. it doesn't make me a bad person to not like him. it is what it is. i can't change it. so i accept that he won't ever show me kindness, love, understanding or be there if i needed him.
i hope, zen, that somehow our mutual difficulty with a sibling and my experiences shared in this post will help you. it was in therapy that i discovered the true facts about my relationship, or lack thereof, with my brother.
i'm sorry that you too have this same problem but you do not deserve any blaming or dislike from your brother. he has the problem on this issue, not you.

[DoggyBonz]

Great post!!! I love reading what others have to say and not feeling so alone. Wow where was this thread about 5 hours ago when I was in that place. Here are some of the things I am learning and trying to apply to my life.

I have been reading and listening to Pema Chodron a Buddist nun. She has this great history and was married and divorced before she started practicing. I have found it really helpful and recently found a meditation center in my area from her website. So when I can that is helpful.

Exercise of any type is really helpful as well as breathing. I try to start simple with breathing in "blue light" and exhaling "red light", about 5 times. Sounds corney but it's another tool that I am trying. Again, this is all like a new muscle to me which I am trying to strengthen. My approach has always been to go for the meds, but these techniques are better and given my goal is to change some things in my life I like knowing that I don't have to rely on meds.