[chelledotcom]

Hi again all!

This is such a great place to get some stuff off the chest! Thank you all...

Just a few things that have been on my mind...

So, I signed up for my next semester classes earlier this week, and I am so freakin nervous! I have 11 credit hours this semester at my University (of Alabama...Roll Tide!), but next semester is my final semester, and in order to graduate, I have to take 16 hours. Five classes, three of which are designated as "writing" courses, and a massive senior project that basically has to sum up what I have learned the past four years (my short attention span and memory issues is making this daunting...just sayin). My thoughts are pinballing all over the place "How am I going to get through this without treatment?" "Can I stay focussed and remember my assignments?" "Am I going to crash and burn?" "Never gonna see my friends" "can I make it?" Ugh, its a nightmare.

My suspected ADHD is still untreated, and money and lack of insurance is making it harder to get in to see a doctor about my issues. The doctor at the Student Health Center basically treated my previous diagnosis of depression, and I told her that I didnt feel depressed, just impulsive and distracted and frazzled. She said that my depression could cause that and put me on prozac...long story short, I had a HARDER time getting work done and paying attention in class. And I was an insomniac. Prozac was like speed for me, keeping me tense, and awake, and insane. Wellbutrin did very little for me either.

After graduation comes grad school, and Im so scared that I will lose it. Grad school + ADHD = Failure! At least, I think it will be if I dont get my brain under control. Im also impulsive and prone to doing randomly stupid things or saying random things at inappropriate times. And I have the hardest time getting to sleep and once I do, its impossible to wake me up. And i have wacky dreams. All in all, Im feeling out of control. But, I have to have an education to succeed in a career, and take care of my family (hubby and myself), and it just feels like alot of scary things. Im so scatterbrained right now. Im trying to type this and I keep stopping to stare at random stuff....I think I may have to just stop ranting now lol.

So how is everyone else doing?

[unaluna]

Re stuff flying out of your mouth - Prozac will lower inhibitions in some people. My pdoc didn't want to tell me because he didn't want it to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I wish I had known, I might have at least TRIED to put the brakes on MY mouth!

Are you already applied/accepted to grad school, planning to start right up? 5 classes seems like a WAY lot. My mother PUSHED me to get my bachelor's in 3 years instead of the usual 4 - that did so much more harm than good; it changed the entire focus of my time in college. Anyway, good luck!

[luna22]

Grad school + ADD... I can see why you would think that might end in failure- Can you go part time for your graduate degree? I personally have a limit of three classes! I can manage that but it is still hard for me. I have a daughter who is getting ready to go to college and she has the same issues that I do with ADD and she is planning on living in the dorm and going to school full time. I am afraid she is setting herself up for failure.

[chelledotcom]

I seem to max out at four classes per semester in terms of keeping my grades up. I have ridiculous expectations of myself, and I will not accept C's, and B's make me almost cry. AND YET, I just sat down, in the bath, to read a book for class (Ive always been good at reading in the bath), and I got maybe three pages read, then I flipped through the book, then started playing with bubbles, then talked to the cats, etc...I got nothing done! With no specific distractions!

I am going directly into grad school, I dont want to break (loans will come due), but full time in grad school is 3 classes (thank God!!). I have to have 5 to graduate, and I know I can do it, I just have to get focussed! Maybe my doc can help with that. Im trying to save up to go see him in the next week or two. Its taken me two days in a row to clean my house, and Im only halfway done! This is so frustrating!

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by chelledotcom

I seem to max out at four classes per semester in terms of keeping my grades up. I have ridiculous expectations of myself, and I will not accept C's, and B's make me almost cry. AND YET, I just sat down, in the bath, to read a book for class (Ive always been good at reading in the bath), and I got maybe three pages read, then I flipped through the book, then started playing with bubbles, then talked to the cats, etc...I got nothing done! With no specific distractions!

I am going directly into grad school, I dont want to break (loans will come due), but full time in grad school is 3 classes (thank God!!). I have to have 5 to graduate, and I know I can do it, I just have to get focussed! Maybe my doc can help with that. Im trying to save up to go see him in the next week or two. Its taken me two days in a row to clean my house, and Im only halfway done! This is so frustrating!

I'm sure you know that grad school is a lot harder than undergrad. I didn't apply for grad school until getting an ADHD diagnosis and treatment. And I did much better in grad school than undergrad! A few years off probably didn't hurt either, but the ADHD meds made all the difference in the world.

Since you probably have to pay for grad school (unless you're among the lucky few) the best advice I can offer is to get a diagnosis and treatment before your classes start. Otherwise it can be a risky investment! Definitely save up and get yourself to a doctor who can make a proper diagnosis (i.e. not the school's health center).

If you check with the Office of Disability Services (or equivalent) they can give you info about how to get a proper diagnosis that can be used for accommodations, which may also include info about where to go for a diagnosis. You may not need accommodations but it's worth checking out just in case, because grad school is hard stuff and a minor accommodation here and there might make all the difference.

They are probably more knowledgeable at ODS or the college counseling center about how to get ADHD evaluated, so make sure you're seeing the right people to get the help you need. In my case, it turned out the university health center was better than the counseling center for getting anything to happen, but your mileage may vary. In any case, even if your student health center doc doesn't want to believe ADHD (they get a lot of students trying to fake it for Rx's for Adderall, so you can hardly blame them) you can still ask for help getting an evaluation done by someone else. This would also show that you're serious about it and not just trying to get some uppers.

As a grad student, they will probably offer you student health insurance through the university, and if you don't have other coverage, you should probably give it some consideration. It's good to be able to go to a doctor when you need to! And if you do get an ADHD dx, you will probably get a prescription to go with it - most of them are pretty cheap on the generics but again, it's nice to have insurance just in case...

Good luck!

[chelledotcom]

Yeah, I've been warned about grad school from many sources, and I'm pretty nervous about it. There is a doctor in town that will do the evaluation without insurance, and is affordable. I'm going to set up an appointment with him as soon as my student aid refund comes in January. He has seen a friend of mine and my aunt as well, both of which don't have insurance, etc.

And I could definitely tell I was getting the run around at the SHC. I think it's ironic, though, because I have tried uppers(as most college students do), and they seem to calm me down rather than give me a buzz. I definitely agree with you about getting treatment before grad school. I do not want to fail out! Thank you!