New here and possibly ADD?

Hello, I am new to this site, and new to the idea that I may very well be ADD. I believe myself to be the innatentive type. Really, its ruining my life. For as long as I can remember troubles with focus, concentrating, daydreaming, losing things... forgetting things quickly etc, have plagued me. Tests were a nightmare, and in highschool I very nearly gave up on myself in just about all areas of my life. Feeling useless, depressed, stupid. At that time I sunk myself into drugs and a very serious eating disorder as a way of coping. At 18 I finally got a bit better, struggled to finish highschool and went off to college eventually in design (which art I can lose myself in... one of the only things I can concentrate on is visuals).

Now I am 27, married and working as a designer in a corporate setting. The things I can't seem to fix about myself are seriously getting me in HUGE amounts of trouble at work. Careless mistake, typos, spelling errors (that no matter how many times I try to proofread I simply can't see). I am disorganised in my private life to the point I think my husband has no idea if I will actually follow through on anything I say I will. I often don't. I jump all over the place WITH EVERYTHING. I forget to pay bills, and end up paying late fees... so he does it, for example. He complains that its like dealing with a child... reminding me constant of things.

I have been trying so so hard to change all these things, and its getting worse the harder I try! I am so frustrated and depressed about myself, that I am terrified the diagnosis will come back negative, and it really will be all my fault I am so stupid and scatter brained.

*sigh* anyway... thanks for letting me get that out. Does it sound as though I may have ADD? I was diagnosed with depression as a child... but now I don't feel depressed clinically, I feel depressed I am so useless? Does that make sense?

Hello Shan,
This is a well conceived forum but there doesn't tend to be a lot of replies to posts looking for help, advice, etc., so I'll start off:
those symptoms mirror mine exactly and I have benefited greatly from stimulant meds, mainly Concerta.
The key in your description of symptoms, to me, is that your disorder is causing great trouble in your life...that is the litmus test of whether it is "real" or not.
There is a whole school of doctors who believe help is available for people with these disturbing, annoying obstacles in their life, so why not explore what's out there and seek some support?
It is a lot of trial and error but the bottom line is, it's worth the trouble.
When you find a med that is allowing you to get through the day without "guilt" for messing up things and forgetting obligations, etc., you'll wonder why you waited so long.
Whether you call it ADD or not doesn't matter.
What matters is you will probably benefit from some managed chemical assistance to organize things in your life, so pursue it.
Good luck!