Does this sound like ADHD?

Hello everyone,

I'm a 25 year old female artist. I know this board is not a replacement for a proper diagnosis, but I was hoping you could help me see if my symptoms could fit ADHD. It sounds like it could be it, because I see a lot of symptoms that fit, but then some others really don't seem to.

Anyway, here's the deal:
I have a life-long history of chronic disorganization. It bugs a lot of my loved ones, but I just can't wrap my mind around it. I can explode a room in a few minutes and not even realize it. It takes all my energy to do mundane tasks. I won't make myself something that's much more complicated than a sandwich, because it just seems like too much effort.

I constantly misplace and forget things. There seems to be huge blank holes in my past because I really don't remember a lot of things. I have to get some things repeated many times before I remember them.

My mind is always chattering- and usually not about nice things(more like worries and obsessions). I obsess about weird things instead of concentrating on tasks I should be doing. I often tell my mind to just shut up (but that hasn't worked yet.) I get tons of ideas for stories and drawings and rarely finish them.

I'm going to bed later and later- right now it's around 2-3am. And it usually takes me an hour+ to fall asleep.

My moods are unstable. Small remarks and criticism sting more than I feel is warranted. Little annoyances and frustrations can have me collapse in puddle of tears. If I ever get actually harsh criticism, I start thinking I'm horrible person who deserves to die (I know it's crazy!). I still turn red from embarrassing incidents that happened 15 years ago. I have very little patience once I've decided I want something.
On the other hand, I've noticed on several occasions that if a true crisis arises, I seem to handle it very well.

Those could all be symptoms of ADHD, but I've got some others that don't seem to fit-

I'm not a bundle of energy. I feel run down most of the time. I've got a long history of depression. Except when I'm on a roll with my art- Then it seems like I can go on forever.

I'm always on time. I haven't missed a deadline yet.

I'm not very impulsive- I don't do well outside of my routine. I often feel uncomfortable doing new things until they become familiar. I often eat, watch and listen to the same things for weeks on end.

I'm not very lively in a conversation. I usually think way too hard about what to say, or I can't think of anything to say at all.

So what do you think? I've been to two psychologists in my teens, and neither of them mentioned that it could be ADHD.

This has been bothering me for some time. I thought it was just depression for a long while, but the counselling didn't help (3 years) and anti-depressants helped me function, but just barely. When I think back on it, I was like this long before I got depressed- I mean the disorganization and the worrying.

*sigh* if you've read through this long rambling post, thank you. It was good to get that off my chest.

It seems like I've wasted so many years being sad. A lot of my loved ones don't believe I have depression- or at least they think I could've overcome it if I had just tried hard enough. So I know that they'll say I'm just trying to find a new excuse for myself. And I guess I would like to be able to pin it on something...
But mostly, I would just like to be happy.

Many thanks.

Edit: Even though I'm a talented artist, my handwriting is terrible, even when I try to write well. It seems to be getting worse too. Can that be related?

royksop, a lot of your symptoms sound similar to ones characteristic of ADHD. My PNP explained to me that ADHD is often present along with depression and/or anxiety, so it can be difficult to tease out exactly what symptoms are caused by what. You may not even need to figure it all out, but instead work on symptom reduction. If a therapy or medication helps you, then it may not really matter what your exact diagnosis is. I would advise going to a medical practitioner who is experienced in diagnosing ADHD as well as depression, etc. If you want to go the meds route, the practitioner could start you on a med that may help your symptoms and if it doesn't, try something else. A therapist could help you with behavioral approaches to your symptoms. I've been reading some books on ADHD and trying to follow some of their behavioral recommendations to help with my symptoms. I've also been taking a med that is often prescribed for ADHD and depression. I think I've learned that there's not going to be one magic pill or approach that is a cure-all for my symptoms.

Good luck!

EDIT lol 2 posts on here now.
Hello,

I only have 2 posts on here (including this) so you can see my introduction post if you look at my profile.. I am 32 and its pretty difficult at the moment. I would probably describe myself more as a robot than a human with a behaviour and dry sense of humour chip plugged in.. I am still trying to come to terms with myself, not easy with ADD potential.

I noticed you did not get a reply. Shocking!! Still with 47,000 members, I suppose everyone is here for a good reason.

You sound similar to me. In fact my cousin and I thought that the symptoms listed below did match us quite well. I don't like to pigeonhole because at the end of the day, if it's not
a brain damage issue or a genetic issue, then chemical imbalance is most likely the cause of adhd/adult add etc.
Dopamine/serotonin/gaba levels are all currently major causes, from what I have read on this site and others.

Please note that I only use wikipedia as a starting point.
It has it's strengths and weaknesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sluggish_cognitive_tempo


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_pr...ly_inattentive

Thank you Sunrise and adder, for the encouragement and the info. The two links you provided sounded a lot like me.
What books have you been reading Sunrise? Have they helped?

I think I'll make an appointment with a psychologist soon. I'm frankly nervous about taking drugs like amphetamine. Are people usually on it for life?

Bleah, here's what my bf thinks about ADHD:

"It's not a disorder. It's just that certain people don't respond well to some environments, like school."

Oy. I love him to death, but he's very opinionated. If it turns out that I have it, I don't relish telling him. Are there a lot of people who feel ashamed of this diagnosis? (Or are made to feel ashamed?)

I'll admit, I used to have a problem accepting that I have ADD. Of course, it was when I was going to school because I always needed more help or time to complete tasks. I also had assignment loads cut for me, because the aide helping me didn't think I would be able to handle doing the entire thing. That was a little embarrassing, especially if we had to present to the class. I also passed a History test with a B once, without leaving the classroom and going to another room to have more time and less people around, but my teacher forced me to take it again because he claimed I would have done better in a different environment. I was very ashamed of having it because I thought it meant that I was dumb.

And to have ADD, you do not have to be hyperactive. I certainly am not hyperactive, although my brain feels that way sometimes.

That's rough Mak. When were you diagnosed? Are you handling it okay these days?

I was diagnosed when I was about 8, I believe. I don't really remember much because I think part of the problem was that my parents never really discussed it with me.

And yeah, things have gotten so much better. Because of the ADD, I got diagnosed with a learning disability, which pretty much was that. Things were rough in school until my freshman year of high school. Thanks to doing so well that year, and my sophomore year, I ended up being declassified from needing school support. I also got moved up into a higher math class. And I do have my B.A. from college.

That's awesome Mak! Is work going well?

I was a mediocre student in elementary school, then I got obsessed with school work (but in a good way- I remember being mostly happy at that time) and I turned into an A+ student in 8th and 9th grade. Then in 10th I started to really zone out when doing my homework. I just couldn't keep my mind on it- my grades started to fall and that's when I got really depressed, and stayed that way throughout high school. I almost didn't graduate.
I had always figured that I wasn't concentrating on my homework because I was depressed, but maybe it's the other way around. I really liked learning and doing well in school. Maybe losing that identity is what kick- started the depression.
Hmm, if that was the case then that's something to think about!

Yeah, I don't know why things were such a challenge before 9th grade, but they were. Maybe being put in classes with my peers who had severe learning disabilities and didn't do their work put a motivation on me to do well and attempt to get out of those classes. None of them liked me because I didn't get in trouble like them, and I did my work in class and out of class. For that reason, they always tried stealing my papers to get the answers.

Work right now, I hate. But then, it's because I work part time cleaning in a restaurant, until something better comes along. I mean, who would really love to have a job like that? Fortunately, what keeps me sane there is the people I work with. Nobody is rude or demanding. I also got a raise yesterday and because I was told that they like me and trust me, it feels bad to want to get on with my life. LOL!

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mak62184 said:
I also got a raise yesterday and because I was told that they like me and trust me, it feels bad to want to get on with my life. LOL!

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LOL Yeah, I know what you mean. I feel bad sometimes wanting to quit my part-time job because my boss is so awesome. But I want to do illustrating full-time eventually.

Thanks Mak, I feel a lot better after talking to you.