Asbergers is hell

Asbergers has taken away every chance I had at friendships and relationships which includes parents and brothers. My relationships with my parents and brothers are as weak as they can be. I truly can't see anything left except dying. Maybe there will be some solace for me there. Only one life and I failed.

Hi. No, you mustn't think of it that way please, cool09. I mean, yes, I fully understand why you see it that way, as I have those thoughts in my head as well - but they're really just thoughts. I agree that a lot of people have a very difficult time, mentally, emotionally, but for myself, I try to see these as challenges, obstacles, to overcome or manage. Remorse and guilt over perceived failure are themselves mental obstacles to try to overcome, too. Do you see what I'm saying? Don't give up cool09. Battle on to the end. Let mother nature pick the right time to leave the earth. The natural way. Hugs.

Cool09.....You have the advantage of KNOWING what yiu are dealing with & there are groups & T's who are trained in helping people who struggle with this on the spectrum.

Heaven knows, I understand from the other side of the coin & wish those I cared about would have either been born in a time to know what was creating the obsticles or willing to get the help that could have changed the outcome.

You are right in that in that is how your mind works but we ALL no matter what, have the way our minds work & we ALL have to learn how to adapt that to function in our best way possible in our environments.

Don't give up!!!! It can get better

Are you able to make friends with others who have asberges ? ( Sorry if I spelt that wrong I always do ) . My daughter is 16 and she has it . She is able to make friendships with others that have it too , but not really those who don't , not a close level .
Are there social groups you can go to to help you meet people ? Are you getting any support at all ? If not is there away to get it ?
I'm sorry about your family and how you are feeling . I really hope things can get better for you and I think they would if you could get some support and meet people similar who also struggle but together you could slowly form a friendship together.

cool09, you're not alone. For decades I've tried to find just one person that the both of us would resonate, but it never happened. So I finally gave up all hope and accepted that I'll be alone my entire life. Less anxiety that way. Really life is no fun. But I'm glad most people seem happy.

That breaks my heart to read this . I hope you both find someone you can connect with . There are maybe many others also suffering and being alone , if only you could meet one of those other people .

I was just diagnosed last year. I'm 54. I've made 1 friend over the last 40 years. I'm just no good at it. Have had bipolar for 40 years which still isn't under control. I've been on disability a total of 19 years and been hospitalized 16 times for depression. Just started a new therapist but have little hope and energy left. My father's my only support, my mother/brothers haven't contacted me in years. I just want everything to go away, it's a terrible life. I appreciate kind words.

WOW so much in common but yet such different background.

I'm hitting 50yo, I am not diagnosed, no medication here. I work full time in retail and I work almost full time at home with my relationship with my girlfriend/wife (at this ago wife is more like it).

People don't associate with me, it goes both ways. so much energy is used up daily just trying to cope/survive. I am so tired I just want to quit. All I get for my hard work is a paycheck that goes away to survive. It's just a big circle of nothing, complete emptiness

Being old and odd, I thought would be easy but it's just so old. Dead inside

It's much more difficult to still make friends the older one gets. Everyone struggles with this to some extent.

I am very much in the same boat. I realize I have underachieved in comparison to university time friends (but I am still in touch with some on the upside) and also paid a high price for my frequent changes of environment, which are in turn a consequence of my inability to fit into any work place. At my current work I am in the worst career dead end ever, and it's all because of my social shortcomings again. Plus the vicious circle of low motivation due to lack of positive feedback and opportunity.

There are no real solutions BUT: one can still work to make life a little bit better every day, or one can make it all worse giving in to a negative attitude. That's again same for everyone, not just people with Asperger's.

See Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life #4: compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

Do something to bring your life in order every day, and then give yourself a little reward. For instance, if I am not too depressed I can delve into one of my special interests, like Ham Radio. It's a high Aspie proportion hobby for all I can tell, all about communication on the surface, often embraced by people who can't communicate well. Or I might learn a new programming language sitting in my gym's lounge wit Spa attached. There are support groups in town, one run by community social workers. I do most of my activities on my own, and usually I enjoy them.

You haven't failed. Have you ever thought about meeting other with Asperger's? There are often groups for adults with Asperger's. I have Asperger's too, you can PM me if you want to chat.