[x.euphoric.x]

I've always been a shy kid but since past 2 or 3 years, my classmates have been saying that I've stopped speaking and interacting with others. I don't have any friends and I don't even attempt to make any. Sometimes I try very hard to plan on making freinds or talking and successfully talk for a little while or so but then I feel like I'm being an unnecessary burden on them. I feel as if everyone is so much better than me and better off without me. I see posts on social networking sites about friends and relationships and I want that desperately but something inside me stops from even attempting. I then feel sad thinking why would anyone even like to be with me. I have no talents and I'm not good at anything. I don't even know how to start a conversation or maintain one. I avoid any kind of human interactions outside of my family. And I get hurt very, very easily. I'm not intelligent and not even good to look at. All of this and more have been so overwhelming that I had started to cut myself. It started out as me scratching my skin with nails then digging them in my skin and then I got a blade. It is like I'm a container which over the time gets filled and to release my contents to become light to not feel I cut. I take everything to heart. I know no one likes me but I feel so horrible and humiliated when they say anything about me. When someone laughs at anything I'm convinced that they are laughing at me. I am scared all the time that everyone is judging my appearance, every word I say, my every smile. I am scared of voicing my thoughts because I know if anyone laughed, I don't know what I'd do. So it's better this way, for me, to not talk to anyone. I just don't know anymore what else to do.

[Skeezyks]

Hello x.euphoric.x: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

We here on PC cannot diagnose you. This is a job for a mental health professional. Our purpose here is to provide one another with support as well as to share information & experiences. I can certainly relate to what you wrote though. Although I am married, I otherwise keep to myself... no extended family nor any friends or even acquaintances really. I am an older person though. So I think that makes being solitary more appealing than it would be to most young people. I've always been a sensitive to any kind of criticism or perceived embarrassment too. I'm sure you will find others, here on PC, who will be able to relate as well.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[x.euphoric.x]

Hi Skeezyks! Thank you so much for replying. I think it doesn't matter if your young or older being solitary is never a good feeling, maybe for a while but then it starts suffocating you and that's never nice.
Thank you so much for sharing though. I thought that if I found someone like me I'd feel better or not feel so alone anymore but it's so not like that.
I'll keep in mind and try to post as much as I can. I appreciate that you told me. Thanks!

[kecanoe]

If you are unhappy with the way your life is going, then seeking help is a good idea regardless of your diagnosis. I think personality disorders are not generally diagnosed in teens (I am assuming you are a teen because you refer to classmates-if I am wrong, please excuse me).

If there are particular skills you would like to develop, such as making small talk or starting conversations, perhaps a mentor or teacher or people on this forum could give you some pointers. Or perhaps seeking help from a therapist would help.

[AzulOscuro]

Have you got the posibility to go to a psychologist?
This is the safer step to give. Before wondering if you could have this or that mental illness or a personality disorder.
I can see myself in you lots of years ago only that I didn't self-harmed but unluckily I hurt myself psychologically and socially. I chosed the easy path and put myself appart.
I don't come a lot in this subforum since I only have some traits but you are free to pm me if you feel like talking about your situation.

[x.euphoric.x]

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

Have you got the posibility to go to a psychologist?
This is the safer step to give. Before wondering if you could have this or that mental illness or a personality disorder.
I can see myself in you lots of years ago only that I didn't self-harmed but unluckily I hurt myself psychologically and socially. I chosed the easy path and put myself appart.
I don't come a lot in this subforum since I only have some traits but you are free to pm me if you feel like talking about your situation.

I used to go to therapy a while ago but the therapist thought it to be a case of social anxiety. I, anyway, didn't used to share many things about myself because of shame and humiliation. And I don't know if I can go through that again. This, here at PC it's easy because it's just me and my laptop. But when it's face to face or even voice well let's just say I'm a bundle of nerves then and physically unable to voice my thoughts or whatever.

Originally Posted by kecanoe

If you are unhappy with the way your life is going, then seeking help is a good idea regardless of your diagnosis. I think personality disorders are not generally diagnosed in teens (I am assuming you are a teen because you refer to classmates-if I am wrong, please excuse me).

If there are particular skills you would like to develop, such as making small talk or starting conversations, perhaps a mentor or teacher or people on this forum could give you some pointers. Or perhaps seeking help from a therapist would help.

Yes, I am a teen. Umm I just turned 18 last month. Thank You kecanoe! I would definitely like to learn those skills. Who should I ask on the forum?

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by x.euphoric.x

I used to go to therapy a while ago but the therapist thought it to be a case of social anxiety. I, anyway, didn't used to share many things about myself because of shame and humiliation. And I don't know if I can go through that again. This, here at PC it's easy because it's just me and my laptop. But when it's face to face or even voice well let's just say I'm a bundle of nerves then and physically unable to voice my thoughts or whatever.

Yes, I am a teen. Umm I just turned 18 last month. Thank You kecanoe! I would definitely like to learn those skills. Who should I ask on the forum?

I wrote a post in anxiety and phobias subforum about social progressive therapy exposure, perhaps you could find it helpful.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxi...-exposure.html